What Were They Thinking?

I'm going to just put it out there: I've had a crummy day. By about noon, I was on overwhelm and by 2pm, I had decided that any additional bad news this week would have to wait until December 2011 and it was all I could do to not crawl deep under the sheets, shrieking with my hands over my ears.

Having said that, my day was still better than these two Mensa candidates...

A Tinley Park man was stopped by police on Tuesday night because another driver called 911 saying he saw the man drinking out of a flask. Yes, a flask. When the officer asked if he'd been drinking, the man pulled a flask from his center console and told the officer, "he sometimes drinks vodka while at work and while driving...because of stress." I gotta give the guy points for honesty. But a flask? Really?

While I was contemplating my own meltdown, a Gurnee woman actually had one. First, she dined and dashed at Joe's Crab Shack in Gurnee and, allegedly, it wasn't the first time. When a cop showed up at her front door to investigate the matter, she assaulted the officer with "a rigid feminine pleasure device." First, you NEVER try the dine and dash stunt multiple times at the same restaurant. And second, who is dumb enough to assault a cop with a sex toy? She did realize they'd take it away to use as "evidence" right?

Stupid Criminal of the Day

I wish I could make this stuff up, but I can't. My favorite line is "The girlfriend said she knew nothing about the drugs or money." Sure because she was immune to the smell of pot. Well, either that or she ratted him out.

Arlington Heights break-in report ends in drug arrest
by Barbara Vitello in the Daily Herald, January 13, 2009

Police arrived at an Arlington Heights residence in the 600 block of Happfield Drive Friday preparing to investigate a home invasion.

They left with 350 grams of suspected cocaine, 827 grams of suspected cannabis and a total of $100,000 in cash, accompanied by a resident, 28-year-old Johnny Beltran, who they charged with possession with intent to deliver. Police have not charged anyone with the home invasion.

The defendant's girlfriend called police to report the crime, said assistant state's attorney Kristin Piper. Upon their arrival, the officers smelled pot and obtained a consent to search the residence, she said, and discovered the drugs and $70,000 in cash.

Officers found an additional $30,000 in cash in the defendant's car. The girlfriend said she knew nothing about the drugs or money, said Piper.

A Cook County judge set bail at $750,000 at Beltran's bond hearing Monday in a Rolling Meadows courtroom. However, because he has another case pending at Chicago's Criminal Courts Building, Beltran will be held without bond. If convicted of the Class X felony, he faces nine to 40 years in prison.