I feel overwhelmed. I don't know if it's the snow I woke up to this morning that just feels like the last straw (I do get that it's winter in Chicago, but this winter just feels longer and snowier than usual). I don't know whether it's the economy. I don't know if I've spread myself too thin. I don't know if I've lost my focus. I don't know if I'm just bad at time management (something I've always prided myself on). All I know is that I feel like I'm being pulled in a million different directions and achieving nothing in the process. I'm not sleeping well. Some days I have an appetite and others I don't (not that it's stopped me from eating).
Sure, in certain moments, the feeling of overwhelm disappears, but it keeps returning. I feel like I've spent the last month pleasing no one, including myself. I feel like I haven't been a very good boss to myself, friend, daughter, sister, or volunteer lately. It's partly why I haven't blogged much in the last month. I haven't known what to say or how to say it even if I did know.
I've tried the things that usually work to de-stress me and help me overcome the feeling of overwhelm . . . hypnosis and meditation, long bubble baths, a massage, a glass or two of wine, cleaning, snuggling with Betsey & Ross (I dare anyone to argue a purring cat is not soothing), exercise . . . and am not sure how to lose this feeling.
I don't mean to whine about this. Really, I don't. I'm only writing about this today in hopes that by throwing it out to the universe, a solution will come to me.
Update 2:56pm: In the midst of writing this post, I happened to jump over to one of my new favorite blogs (can we say ADD?), Kittens Farting Rainbows (seriously, doesn't that title make you giggle?) and read a post called "100% Better 60% of the Time." As I read it, I kept thinking to myself, "yep, that's how I'm feeling." But then Bergsie ends her post with the things she knows and that got me to thinking that maybe I should write about the things I know for sure (not to sound to Oprah-ish). Maybe that will make me feel better. Look for that as my next post. See, maybe the universe does give me the answers I need when I reach out.
Yay! I've been trying to post, but have had technical difficulties.
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The List has made me feel better all day. I know it sounds "Oprah-ish", but it did. I made one for publication and one not. The one I made for me made me feel even better.
Kinda on the subject of the universe providing...my mom loves this joke. It doesn't matter if you believe in God or not to appreciate this joke, by the way. Even though it's about God.
This farmer is warned of an approaching flood. He's not worried because God will provide help. So the water gets up in his yard and a guy in a big, tall 4 wheel drive comes by. He tells the farmer, hey, hop in. The floodwaters are rising. The farmer says, no thanks. God will provide. So the water gets up to the second floor of the house and the farmer is sticking his head out the window. A motorboat comes by and the guy tells the farmer to hop in. The farmer says, nope. God will rescue me. So the water rises to the top of the house. A helicopter swoops in and tells the farmer, over the loudspeaker to grab the rope ladder they're going to send down. The farmer says, nah. I'm alright. God will provide. So, of course, the farmer drowns and he's standing there at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter says, hey. You're not supposed to be here. The farmer says, yeah, tell me about it. I kept waiting for God and he never showed up. St. Peter says, look, we sent you a truck, a boat, and a helicopter. What else do you want?
My quite long-winded point is yes, the universe does provide an answer. We've just sometimes got to quiet down to hear it. That's the issue I have!
This guy
Oh, that joke is so full of truth! The first time I heard it was on The West Wing. And I retell it often, but had forgotten it today. You are BRILLIANT Bergsie!
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