Without a Doubt, Betsey and Ross ARE Trying to Kill Me

Betsey and Ross, looking sweet and innocent.

A friend of mine emailed the cartoon below to me earlier today with the subject line warning "Be Very Careful" and I though "huh?" until I clicked on the link and saw the picture below.

After reviewing it, I can say with absolute certainty that Betsey and Ross ARE trying to kill me. I know, those of you who have met them are thinking, "But they're so sweet! Ross just wants to be loved and Betsey just wants to be left alone." And to you, I can only say, "SUCKERS!" Sure, they look innocent and sweet. But let me tell you that they do all the behaviors outlined below and even some that aren't. Betsey, for example, starts out purring and sleeping with her little head on my shoulder. After about 30 minutes, her entire body is laying on my shoulder and leaning against my neck. It's clear she's waiting to cut off my air supply by squeezing her tail around my neck. While Betsey is waiting to choke me, Ross is snoring away and has handcuffed my wrist and hand to the bed with his fat body rendering me unable to free myself from Betsey's tightening grip.

Before going any further, I must give credit where credit is due. This cartoon was originally drawn by Matthew Inman and appeared here. I'm using the picture below rather than the original because I could get this one in one image.