Thursday, September 19, 2013

New Holiday: Int'l Stay In Bed & Read A Book Day

When I got up this morning, I learned, thanks to social media, that today is Talk Like a Pirate Day. I don't know about you, but I've never been into pirates. Not even Johnny Depp could convince me that pirates are cool.

I'm not going to tell you not to talk like a pirate though. In fact, I think you should do whatever tickles your fancy. I'm all about your right to choose for yourself here. I'm Pro-Choice.

As I showered, dryed my hair, did my make-up, and made important fashion decisions for my day, I could hear many claps of thunder and the sound of pouring rain hitting my roof. I also quickly realized that although it was 7:45 a.m., it looked like midnight outside.

The thunderstorm combined with Talk Like Pirate Day got me to fantasizing about what kind of fake, but widely celebrated holiday would I enjoy and that would have universal appeal.

And thus was born . . .

International Stay In Bed 
and Read A Book Day

Here's how it works:

Stay In Bed and Read A Book Day is a floating holiday that can be used by all adults on any regularly scheduled workday. It will not count against any other paid time off you have (e.g., sick, vacation), although it is a paid day off. You get to choose when to celebrate it each year (see, more of that pro-choice thing) so that it fits best into your schedule. Children are strictly forbidden from celebrating because they need to be in school and they have too damn many days off anyway.

In order to invoke Stay In Bed and Read A Book Day, you simply need to email your employer and let them know by 6:00 a.m. local time on the day you are celebrating. You may not provide advance notice.

I recommend you choose a snowy or rainy day so that you are not tempted to get out of bed, but it is up to you. If you want to stay in bed and read on a perfectly nice sunny day, go for it.

That's really all that's required.

Here are helpful FAQs because I know you have questions:

1. Am I required to remain in bed alone? Absolutely not. If you'd like to have company, enjoy!

2. Is there a number of people I'm allowed to have in my bed on Stay In Bed and Read A Book Day? No. As long as they are all consenting adults, you can have a party, in bed.

3. Do I have to read a book or can I read my Kindle or a stack of magazines? Again, it does not have to be a book. You may read your Kindle, the newspaper, magazines, mail, or anything else you'd enjoy reading. The only thing forbidden is work related reading.

4. Do I have to read? Can I engage in other activities in bed? Of course! I encourage it. You may sleep or engage in any other activity that can be done in bed in a reclining position. You may engage in these activities alone or with the companions you have in bed with you, as long as they're consenting adult people.

5. Can I wear a costume when I celebrate? Sure. Feel free. Playing dress up is fun.

5. Is there anything else I should know? Pace yourself. The last thing you want is to over exert yourself and have to call in sick on the day after Stay In Bed and Read A Book Day. That's just bad form.

6. Can I post pictures of my celebration of Stay In Bed and Read A Book Day on social media? Yes. Use the hashtag #StayInBed and please keep the pictures G-rated.


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