Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Reason, Season, and Lifetime Friends

I have always believed there are three types of friends: Reason, Season, and Lifetime. None of them is bad. In fact, they are all equally important.

Reason Friends come into my life for a specific reason - to help me grow, to help me learn a lesson, etc. Once the reason is over, the friendship comes to its natural end. Sometimes work friends fall into this category. We may become very close to Reason Friends and share many intimate details from our lives, but they are still Reason Friends. I usually mourn their departure, but sometimes it's so gradual neither of us notices until it's too late. I also usually hope that our paths cross again.

Season Friends are in my life for a period of time. Some of my friends from college fall into this category. They were there for those 4 years, but after that Season in our lives was over, we went our separate ways. I always mourn when these friendships end because it means a significant time in my life is over, but it is also a time of exciting opportunity. Like Reason Friends, I hope my life path will cross again with my Season Friends.

Lifetime Friends, however, are my touchstones, my lifeblood. Without them, my life is empty. They are there through the thick and thin, exurberence, and sorrow. No matter what happens in our lives, our friendship remains. Sometimes we aren’t as close as others, but we always come back together. The thing about Lifetime Friends is that we can be apart for a decade or more, but when we finally come back together, it's like time has stood still and we pick up right where we left off. Being a Lifetime Friend has nothing to do with when the friendship began. It could be a 40 year old friendship or a 4 week old friendship.

Please don't misunderstand me. I don't treat any of my friends differently. Most of the time, I don't even consciously know which category they fall into.

Because February is the season of Love (and not just the romantic kind), it reminds me to tell my friends how much I love them. I know I don't say it often enough. But I do really and truly love each of my friends. So this Valentine's Day, I'm sending big hugs and kisses your way.


  1. I have seen this as an email probably twice or so and that changed my thoughts on friends. I now view my friendships very much in these three categories and yet as you said I do not know where people will fall until I look back in retrospect. I love that you posted this and thank you for the reminder to value my friendships.

  2. Thanks Boxer Rebel! And thank you for linking to me and writing about me on your blog! Happy Valentine's Day!

  3. I have been trying to compose a blog very similar to this one for a while now, and came across yours, and just wanted to say thanks -- you said it just right!!

    I am currently going thru a "season" change and though it seems easy enough for the one friend to just walk away, it is not so easy for the one being walked away from.

  4. Tim,

    Thank you for the compliment. In my mind, you're always the truly eloquent one, so reading that you think something I write is beautiful truly touches me.

    I hope you know which kind of friend you are to me.




Thank you for leaving a comment on Little Merry Sunshine. Due to the volume of spam comments, all comments must be approved to ensure they are not spam or spambots. Thank you for understanding.