New Experience #113: Drive a Tesla

Bobby's Tesla after I safely returned it.

The Tesla car hood logo.

Last night during my monthly massage with Bobby at Northwest Massage Therapy (go see him and tell him I sent you, trust me), we were chatting as we often do about politics, religion, world events, etc. when Bobby mentions he and his wife recently bought a new car. Then he casually tosses in that it's a $94,000 car.

A what? That's more money than my condo cost and more money than I've ever made in a year.

And then it hits me . . . he bought a Tesla. He'd been talking about it for awhile and I was thrilled they'd finally gotten it.

As he continues to tell me about all the bells and whistles this car has, he says, "would you like to drive it after your massage?" Um, Hell yes! That's not what I said though. I hemmed and hawed thinking, "I could never drive a $94,000 car!"

After my massage, we went outside so I could see the Tesla and so I could go home. Bobby unlocked the car so I see inside and then tells me to get in.

Thinking I'm just going to get in so I can see better, he walked around to the passenger side and got in. He showed me how to turn it on and taps the enormous dashboard screen to adjust the car for his wife (she and I are similar height). Suddenly the seat starts moving forward and up, the steering wheel adjusts, and all the mirrors move into place.

The next word I hear is "drive." So I did. I drove all around the parking lot and then Bobby says, "take a left on Irving Park." Okay.

So I drove to the Schaumburg Regional Airport (about a 5 minute drive).

The Tesla is completely silent and could have almost driven itself. It has a sunroof that is more like a convertible top in the way that it opens the entire roof. It goes just under 275 miles on one full charge and charging it for a month costs about $18, Bobby told me. He also told me that if he's driving from Chicago to Michigan, there are Tesla Supercharger Stations across the country that will charge the car for free and take about 30 minutes to fully charge it. The car goes from 0 to 60 in 4.2 seconds. Don't ask how I know. Take your foot off the gas and the car slows down as if you'd pressed the brake peddle.

I tried to convince Bobby to let me take the Tesla home and he could take my Camry. They're practically the same car, I argued. My powers of persuasion failed me and I drove my Camry home. Trust me when I tell you that driving a Camry after driving a Tesla feels like you're driving a horse and buggy.

I have to tell you, the Tesla is the greatest car I've ever driven. If I could afford a Tesla, I would buy one in an instant.

Thank you Bobby for giving me this awesome new experience!