Leaving the world a little better than I found it by sharing my passions and dreams, what inspires me,
and maybe you too, and furthering the discussion about how we can listen to our better angels.
Yesterday a girlfriend of mine posted a story on Facebook about having been at the gas station and witnessed a man park his car, get out and walk over to another woman driving an older car and inform the woman that he wanted to pay for her gas. No ask for payback. No harassment of the woman. Nothing. Just a simple random act of kindness that made not only the woman receiving the gas happy, but it uplifted my girlfriend who witnessed this unabashed generosity between strangers.
Witnessing this selflessness prompted my girlfriend to decide that as she celebrates her 40th birthday this year, she's going to perform 40 random acts of kindness, one for each year of her life. She then encouraged all of her friends on Facebook to spend the year practicing their own random acts of kindness and asked, "What would the world be like with all this kindness"?
Over a dozen friends immediately stepped forward saying they were in for 40 random acts of kindness to celebrate their 40th birthdays.
I'm loving this idea of making 2012 the Year of Kindness. What would our world be like 349 days from now if we each performed even one random act of kindness per week? I imagine we'd see a seismic shift in our attitude towards each other, that prescriptions for antidepressants would drop off (you can't be doing that much selfless good without beginning to feel good yourself), our relationships would be better, and people would be nicer.
As Five for Fighting has asked, What Kind of World Do You Want? Let's go make the world better this year.
Lyrics to What Kind of World Do You Want by Five for Fighting
Got A Package full of wishes. A Time machine, a magic wand, a globe made out of gold. No instructions or commandments, Laws of gravity or indecisions to uphold
Printed on the box I see, A.C.M.E.'s built a world to be, Take a chance, grab a piece, Help me to believe it.
What kind of world do you want? Think anything. Let's start at the start, build a masterpiece, Be careful what you wish for... History starts now.
Should there be people or peoples? Money, funny, pedestals, for fools who never pay. Raise your army, choose you steeple. Don't be shy, the satellites, can look the other way.
Lose the earthquakes, keep the faults. Fill the oceans, without the salt. Let every man own his own hand. Can you dig it baby?
What kind of world do you want? Think anything. Let's start at the start, build a masterpiece, Be careful what you wish for... History starts now.
Sunlight's on the bridge. Sunlight's on the way. Tomorrow's callin, There's more to this than love.
What kind of world do you want? What kind of world do you want?
What kind of world do you want? Think anything. Let's start at the start, build a masterpiece, Yeah History starts now, starts now.
Last September, I ran a blog post titled "Paid in Full With One Glass of Milk" that was one of the most popular posts in all of 2010. I had read the story in an inspirational email I receive each morning and was moved to share the story with each of you. What I find interesting about these emails I receive each day from Simple Truths is that more often than not, the message in the morning email speaks to exactly an issue I'm dealing with in my life. The power of the Universe, I guess.
This morning when I checked my email, I was once again greeted by this wonderful story and I decided I should re-share it with you too. In this crazy busy world we live in, it's important to remember how the smallest act of kindness we perform, even the ones that seem unimportant to us, can quite literally change someone's world. The other thing I know about performing acts of kindness is that being kind to someone else always lifts me up as well. Whether it's the smile I give to a check-out clerk at Jewel who's been on her feet for 8 hours, the directions I give to someone who's lost, the Girl Scout cookies I bought that I didn't really need, or the friend I gave my shoulder to the other night, I find that being nice always makes me just a little bit happier.
The year was 1863, on a spring day in Northern Pennsylvania. A poor boy was selling goods door to door to pay his way through school. He realized he had only a dime left, and that he was hungry. So he decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door.
Instead of a meal, he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry and so she brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How much do I owe you?"
"You don't owe me anything," she replied. "Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness." He said, "Then I thank you from my heart." As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strengthened also. He had been ready to give up and quit.
Years later, that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease.
Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, he went down the hall of the hospital to her room. Dressed in his doctor's gown, he went in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day, he gave special attention to the case.
After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested from the business office to pass the final billing to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge, and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally, she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She read these words:
"PAID IN FULL WITH ONE GLASS OF MILK..." (Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly*
*Dr. Howard Kelly was a distinguished physician who, in 1895, founded the Johns Hopkins Division of Gynecologic Oncology at Johns Hopkins University. According to Dr. Kelly's biographer, Audrey Davis, the doctor was on a walking trip through Northern Pennsylvania one spring day when he stopped by a farm house for a drink of water.
This beautiful story about Dr. Howard Kelly is one of many true stories found in The Power of Kindness. I love the quote from Leo Buscaglia: "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." Quite frankly, this is the part about kindness that we all understand. But it's the other part that many of us fail to grasp.
That is...practicing random acts of kindness can change our lives!
The great English writer, Aldous Huxley, was a pioneer in the study techniques to develop human potential. In a lecture toward the end of his life, he said this:
"People often ask me...what is the most effective technique for transforming their lives?" He then said, "It's a little embarrassing that after years and years of research, my best answer is - just be a little kinder."
This is the paradox of the power of kindness. It doesn't feel powerful at all. I n fact, it almost feels too simple to be important. But as Huxley said, it is the #1 thing that can transform your life.
Kindness, more than anything, is an attitude that brings us back to the simplicity of being. It is also the one way you can be assured of making a difference with your life.
This reminded me of a Clay Walker song from a few years ago about the power of kindness called The Chain of Love. For those of you reading LMS via email, click here and see the video on the site. I challenge each of you to find some opportunities today and this next week to perform random acts of kindness. I believe you'll find that doing so will improve your day and week and you never know when you'll be on the receiving end.
Have you heard the story about the Southwest pilot who held a plane so a man running late thanks to TSA could see his dying grandson one more time?
It's true. We're 17 days into the new year and already the kindness of strangers has made me cry. Ya, I know I'm a wuss, but trust me, you're going to get misty-eyed too.
Actually, someone once did something similar for me. I never got to say thank you because the internet didn't exist and I didn't have a public forum like Little Merry Sunshine in which to shout my gratitude from the rooftops. I was flying from Washington National to O'Hare early on a Saturday morning for my Grandma Gardner's funeral. My original flight was canceled due to mechanical problems and when United got me on a later flight, they put me in the last row of an overcrowded flight. I hadn't slept more than a couple of hours most of the week because of a huge legal filing we were getting done, and once I got to my seat, I took my first deep breath and all of my emotion over the death of my grandmother came pouring out. To add to my grief and tears, if we landed on time, I had 30 minutes to make it to the funeral and no way to tell my dad, who was picking me up at O'Hare. A passing stewardess asked me what was wrong and upon hearing my story, walked away. She returned a few minutes later telling me to get my purse and follow her. Someone in first class gave me their seat so I could get off the plane as quickly as possible, run through the airport, and make it to the funeral. Wow. Even now, 15 years later, I'm still grateful for that random act of kindness by a stranger.
So maybe that's why I'm especially touched by the Southwest pilot who went above and beyond to make sure a man he didn't know got to see the person he needed to see without worrying about all the places the other passengers wanted to be.
The most important trips aren't about getting somewhere. They're about getting to someone. (via Elliott.org)
But in an age of mounting airline fees, reduced in-flight services, uncomfortable security pat-downs and multi-day delays caused by erupting volcanoes, it's easy to forget that.
Amid the cries of "I've already paid for my hotel!" and "You need to get me to Atlanta!" anger and inconvenience frequently blind us to the fact that travel is ultimately about people. We also forget that airline employees—bound by big company rules and regulations—get frustrated, too.
Enter Nancy, whose travel triumph, tempered by a great deal of sadness, has turned an unnamed Southwest Airlines pilot into an online hero.
Nancy reads a blog by Christopher Elliott, a consumer advocate and journalist, and wrote to him about her husband's recent ordeal traveling on flights from Los Angeles to Tucson to Denver. Their situation makes complaints about leg room look downright petty.
"Last night, my husband and I got the tragic news that our three-year-old grandson in Denver had been murdered by our daughter's live-in boyfriend," she wrote. "He is being taken off life support tonight at 9 o'clock and his parents have opted for organ donation, which will take place immediately. Over 25 people will receive his gift tonight and many lives will be saved."
So early in the morning, after what must have been a torturous night's sleep, Nancy and her husband arranged for him to fly from Los Angeles, where he was traveling for work, to Tuscon, where he would step off one plane and immediately onto another one headed to Denver. "The ticketing agent was holding back tears throughout the call," Nancy wrote. "I'm actually her step-mother and it's much more important for my husband to be there than for me to be there."
Mourning the loss of his child's child, and no doubt worrying about his grieving daughter, he was likely in no state to travel. Airport stress only compounded his despair. He arrived at LAX two hours before his scheduled flight time, but quickly realized that delays at baggage check and security would keep him from making the flight.
According to Nancy, he struggled to hold back tears as he pleaded with TSA and Southwest Airlines staff to fast-track him through the lines that were moving like molasses. Even though missing his flight could mean missing a final chance to see his grandson, no one seemed to care.
Too much was at stake to simply roll over and cry. When he finally cleared security—several minutes after his flight's planned departure—he grabbed his computer bag, shoes and belt, and ran to his terminal wearing only his socks. The pilot and the gate agent were waiting for him.
“Are you Mark? We held the plane for you and we're so sorry about the loss of your grandson,” the pilot reportedly said. “They can't go anywhere without me and I wasn't going anywhere without you. Now relax. We'll get you there. And again, I'm so sorry.”
It's hard to underestimate the courage of the pilot's decision. The flight, which ultimately departed 12 minutes late, likely had hundreds of passengers rolling their eyes in contempt. And given that any delay has knock-on effects for passengers at the destination airport, his decision placed Southwest at risk of facing the wrath of travelers, and more than a few demands for compensation.
Elliott, who brought the story to the blogosphere's attention, approached Southwest about the story, half expecting the airline to be outraged by a pilot's refusal to push the on-time departure.
Instead, they told him they were "proud" of their pilot, a man who clearly understands that taking a child off life support has consequences that run deeper than a flight taking off late. As Nancy wrote: "My husband was able to take his first deep breath of the day." Hopefully, over time, his daughter can do the same.
My friend Debbie recently reminded me and all the members of the Random Acts of Kindness Club that this week is National Character Counts Week and will be capped off by Make A Difference Day this Saturday, October 23rd.
Debbie encouraged everyone to focus on the traits that make up character by thinking about what each of these traits means not only to us, but the entire world as well, and also demonstrating them.
Monday: Responsibility - "Responsibility finds a way. Irresponsibility makes excuses!" - Educator Gene Bedley
Tuesday: Citizenship - "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." Anthropologist Margaret Mead
Wednesday: Respect - "Let everyone be respected as an individual." - Nobel Prize Winner Albert Einstein
Thursday: Caring - "Too often we underestimate the power of a smile, a kind word, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." - Author Leo Buscalia
Friday: Fairness - "Live so that when your children think of fairness, they think of you." - H. Jackson Brown Jr.
Saturday: Trustworthiness - "Whatever you are, be a good one." - Honest Abe
Debbie continues:
Do something kind for another person, an animal or our planet on National Make A Difference Day on Saturday, October 23. You may want to donate to the food and pet food drive at the Arlington Heights Memorial Library ... you could help a person you know who is sick or in need of help or could otherwise use some cheering up ... pick up liter at the park ... or extend a random act of kindess to a stranger ... the possibilities are endless.
The point is, please take the time to celebrate kindness, character and making a difference in our world. For more information, visit www.charactercounts.org and www.forbetterlife.org (really cool stuff like e-cards to forward on or make-your-own billboards!) -- two organizations that inspired the founding of this club by kids at Patton Elementary School.
If you have children or grandchildren, this is my editorial soapbox message: please make a special point this week to talk with the kids about what character is and what it means to you and your family. This is not something they generally learn in school. Rather than through osmosis, the best place kids can learn about character is from their family, explaining each trait -- and of course leading by example!
I challenge each of my readers to do what you can this week to celebrate character. What will you do to make the world just a little better this week? Please leave a comment sharing your ideas.
In this morning's Daily Herald, I read an article about the Mount Prospect Food Pantry. Evidently, they are desperately in need of donations because the economy has significantly increased the demand for its services.
With summer here, the demand on food pantries is greater because families that rely on the free and reduced-fee school lunches to help stretch their food stamp dollars don't have that safety net.
According to the Illinois Department of Human Services, a family of 4 can have a monthly gross income of no more than $2,389 ($28,668 gross annually) in order to qualify for food stamps. That's not a lot of money, especially in the Chicago area. So people who make too much to qualify for food stamps, but are poor, the working poor, also rely on food pantries to help them make ends meet.
I buy a few extra items each week to donate to the food pantry. Thanks to buy one, get one free sales and coupons, this often has zero impact on my budget. I collect the items and when I have a full bag, I run over to the food pantry.
Think your tiny garden can't make a difference? Watch the video below to learn how 11-year-old Katie Stagliano is making a difference in her community. She was on CNN today and has started Katie's Krops.
If you're not in Arlington Heights or Mt. Prospect, you can find food pantries local to you at Feeding America's website.
I read this story in today's Washington Post and just love the message. Here's a man who is unemployed, but he's not sitting around crying and having a pity party. He's out there making a difference in the lives of those around him. He recognizes he's got obstacles in his life, but he sees the suffering around him and has made a conscious choice to make a difference everyday.
The guy behind the meat counter is looking at Reed Sandridge kind of strangely. Giving away $10 every day to a stranger -- an idea Sandridge had soon after he was laid off from his job at a Washington nonprofit group last fall -- isn't as easy as it sounds.
Carlos Canales, a 28-year-old butcher at Eastern Market, is hesitant to take the money. "What do I have to do?" he asks.
No strings, no hook. Sandridge, 36, a businessman-turned-shoe-leather philanthropist, just wants to help. His mom, the daughter of a coal miner whom he remembers most for her kindness, always told him that when you're going through tough times, that's when you most need to give back.
So not long after he was laid off, on the third anniversary of his mom's death, he started his "year of giving," documenting each $10 gift in a small black notebook and then blogging about the people he meets. By Day 94, he had given away almost $1,000, handing out money in blizzards, in rainstorms, on the sunniest of days. He gave $10 to a guy playing the trumpet outside Verizon Center, the president of a brewery, someone dressed up as the Statue of Liberty, a hard-drinking PhD, a man who held up a basketball to block helicopters overhead from eavesdropping on their conversation, the curator of a small museum and a whole lot of homeless people.
Sandridge, who is outgoing and has a ready grin, and, sometimes, a brown scruff of almost-beard, knows $10 is precious little, even to the most down-and-out. It feels significant only when the daily donations are subtracted from his shrinking bank account. He's been using his savings and a few hundred a week in unemployment benefits to pay the mortgage on his home in Dupont Circle. But he hopes he will network his way to a salary again long before he runs out of cash.
A learning curve
But the year of giving is not about the money. Sandridge is trying to spread an idea. Doing nice things all the time is addictive, he said.
Besides, he added, "being unemployed, I was starting to go nuts."
He wanders the city looking for strangers who appear as if they might need help or have an interesting story to tell. He has a few rules: He gives only $10, and he doesn't take anything in exchange.
He's getting better at it. The first three times he tried, people refused, suspicious, and walked away. Now, he easily persuades people to take his money -- even Canales, after a few moments, accepts the $10 bill -- and to tell him what they're going to do with the unexpected gift.
Every once in a while, he knows the money really helps someone. It pays for a meal or turns someone's lousy day into one that feels lucky.
On his fifth day, in the middle of a fierce snowstorm, he met Davie McInally, a Scottish man with icicles frozen in his thick beard who was carrying his belongings in a backpack and trying to get to New York to enlist in the military. McInally hoped to serve on active duty and earn his citizenship, and the $10, added to his $14, made a bus ticket possible.
"I am sure there have been quite a few people now that those 10 dollars have really helped, or made their life or even their days a lot better," McInally wrote in an e-mail.
The generosity comes naturally to Sandridge, who grew up in a close family in a small Pennsylvania town.
He studied international business and Spanish at Indiana University of Pennsylvania, worked for a Finnish telecommunications software company, for which he started a subsidiary in Brazil (sleeping in his office sometimes because he was working so much), returned to the United States to oversee its Americas operations, and then joined the management team of a health nonprofit founded by the American Heart Association and the William J. Clinton Foundation.
Sandridge tells people that he doesn't care what they do with his money. But that's not exactly true. When someone who is jobless and has alcohol on his breath says he'll buy a drink, Sandridge doesn't regret the gift but hopes the next $10 has a better impact than just another buzz.
His favorites are those (more than 30) who say they'll use the money to help someone else: He likes to see the $10 snowball. A woman went to a homeless shelter the night after she met Sandridge and found someone who could use the gift. A Haitian man who had just learned that his mother had died in the earthquake told Sandridge that he was going to the island to look for other relatives and would put the money toward bringing satellite phones there.
Ideas to help others
On his Web site, Sandridge keeps a list of ideas for helping those he has met: Ron, who has experience with heavy machinery, wants day-labor work. Nikki needs help with filing disability claims. Garland, a street drummer, wants gigs. Anthony needs a pair of size 9 sneakers.
Sometimes, someone following the blog, another stranger, will step in to help.
"He forces attention to people who are usually ignored," said his brother Ryan Sandridge. "I hope others maybe slow their life down just a little bit and see that there's more than just the daily grind. I don't know if that's part of his message or not -- but that's one of the things I take out of it. Look around, pay more attention, be more giving."
Canales takes the money, talks to Sandridge some in Spanish and introduces him to his father, Emilio Canales. Carlos tells him that when he was a little boy, he would sleep under the tables behind the meat counter while his father and uncles set up their stands early in the morning. He's not sure what to do with the $10. Maybe the next time someone asks him for food, he will give it to that person.
"I'll pass it along," Canales said.
Sandridge has already started to think about Dec. 16, when the year is over. "It's going to be a letdown," he said.
So he's planning a party for all the people who got his money and all the people who read his blog as he gave it away.
Sometimes people ask him: Why not give all the money away at once?
He didn't want to write a check to an organization -- he wanted something more personal. "But I get their point," Sandridge said. "If I gave $3,650 to one person, I could probably change their life.
"Maybe I'll do that next year!" Then he laughed. "I'll need a good job, first."
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Here's my favorite part . . . how the money's been spent. So often I hear people say that they don't give homeless people or beggars money because they'll just go spend it on liquor or drugs or cigarettes, but Reed Sandridge proves that's not really the case.
The following article appeared in the Daily Herald last Friday. I love that it includes a section about my friend Debbie Nelson and the Random Acts of Kindness Club. Bad news got you down? These folks find ways to stay happy. By Jamie Sotonoff, Daily Herald, June 3, 2009
The recession drags on. Friends and neighbors are losing jobs and homes. And then we have to worry about plane crashes or the swine flu.
Yet, in nooks and crannies around the suburbs, there always remains something positive to consider. Acts of goodness take place every day and happy people go about their routines with smiles on their faces.
Health, wealth and mood-elevating medication has nothing to do with it. Instead, these people consciously choose to let the bad news roll off them like Teflon and maintain positive attitudes despite the chaos around them.
Experts believe that focusing on negative things perpetuates the bad, and focusing on good leads to even more good.
Could these suburbanites be reversing our bad fortune?
Bob and Jeanne Pitra's daily coffee date
After being married for almost 57 years, you might think Bob and Jeanne Pitra would be sick of each other. But the Glen Ellyn couple spends every day together, starting with an early morning swim at the College of DuPage's pool, coffee at the Bells & Whistles Snackery in Glen Ellyn, and then a stop at their local church. They bring their own coffee mugs to the restaurant - mugs they won playing bingo there together.
"They're still clearly in love," says Bells & Whistles owner Tracey Kreiling. "They are such wonderful, genuinely happy people."
Jeanne and Bob met while students at Bradley University, and even worked together at the DuPage County courthouse. He was a sheriff's deputy and she was a legal secretary.
"We do enjoy each other's company," Jeanne said. "I wouldn't have anyone else."
Bob, 79 and Jeanne, 77, have visited some of the world's poorest countries on mission trips and consider themselves blessed.
"I tell people, you should get down and kiss the Earth about all the pluses we have in this country. Why look at any down side? You can always find a silver lining," Bob said. "When people talk down about things, I try to give them the upside. Sometimes you can change an attitude."
Random Acts of Kindness Club in Arlington Heights
This fast-growing, new group is dedicated to the "pay it forward" way of thinking.
Facilitated by Deborah Nelson, 40, of Arlington Heights, it grew out of a local Character Counts program at Patton Elementary School. There, with help from a group called DreamWeavers, they found a way to get bunk beds and sheets for a local family with six kids but just one mattress. The family's name was kept secret, and everything was delivered anonymously with a note that said, "This is a random act of kindness. Please pass it on."
The effort snowballed.
"Everyone loved it so much, they wanted to keep it going," Nelson said. "Parents, kids, friends, they kept asking, 'How can I participate?'"
In January, Nelson - an Arlington Heights library trustee, a single mother of two and a full-time fundraiser who also works a side job - somehow found time to get ROAK-AH organized. She started www.meetup.com/randomactsofkindnessAH and 100 households have already signed up.
"Every day we get new members," she said. "We don't have meetings or events. No one has time for that. There are groups like ours all over the world ... but we just help people in the Northwest suburbs."
What types of random acts of kindness they do? Well, Nelson recently paid for someone's breakfast at a McDonald's drive-through. The person had let him pull ahead of her. The group also just bought Build-A-Bear gift certificates for two young girls who lost their 40-year-old mother to a heart attack.
"Even if you're down and out, do something nice for someone else and it'll turn your day around and theirs," Nelson said. "Taking on a positive way of feeling pulls you up and gives you the resilience to move on. It's contagious. It rubs off on others."
The Tuesday Morning Breakfast Club in Naperville
It's a scene repeated across the suburbs every week: at 6:45 a.m. every Tuesday, Bob Owensby, 83, picks up his friend Chet Rybicki, 93, and together they drive to the Colonial Inn in Naperville for what's dubbed "The Tuesday Morning Breakfast Club."
There, roughly a dozen retired men - most World War II vets - happily socialize and talk about everything from the good ol' days to politics.
"We discuss a lot of things. We have a lot of opinions about what's going on," said Owensby, a retired architect and Marine who still has shell fragments in his body from Iwo Jima.
Their weekly routine consists of not just fellowship, but education. Every Wednesday, four of the breakfast club members -Rybicki (who is a former Naperville mayor), Owensby, Dr. Robert Reschke and Joe Ryan take history classes at the College of DuPage. This semester, they're studying Abraham Lincoln.
They've followed this breakfast-and-school routine for the past 20 years, after their friend Jack Oates came up with the idea.
"After you work for 40, 50 years, you want to still stay active," Owensby said.
The friends also provide support to each other through the ups and downs of the Golden Years.
"There are a lot of nice people in Naperville," Rybicki said.
Reese Tirona, 24, of Schaumburg
The marketing student is using the Web to rally people to be kind. Sound silly? In the first three days, more than 700 people joined Tirona's positivitymovement.com. Her new Facebook group, "The Positivity Movement," already has more than 57,000 members worldwide.
"We're all intrinsically good. It just takes some reminding," Tirona said.
Features include a list of 100 kind things you can do (let in a merging motorist, bring cupcakes to work, etc...) and inspirational messages ("Happiness is not having want you want, it's wanting what you have.")
"It's surprising that people think kindness is such a hard thing to do," Tirona said. "A small gesture can brighten someone else's day. Your whole day will be affected by the things you experience."
Ruth Kaiser, author/eternal optimist
To say that Kaiser sees a smile everywhere she goes is an understatement. Her new book, "Spontaneous Smiley Face," is a compilation of everyday images where a smiley face can be detected.
During a recent visit to Chicago (her daughter is a student at Northwestern University), she even found a smiley face in a half-melted pile of snow.
Do you know The Starfish Story? It's a story about the power of helping one person and how we can each make a difference. Every once in awhile, I question my own ability to make a difference in the world because I don't have the power of celebrity or as the Leader of the Free World to truly affect change. But I always come back to this story and remember if some random act of kindness touches just one person, then it's worth it.
One thing that I try to do everyday is to smile at strangers and greet them - not engage in conversation, but more of a hello with a smile on my face. This may sound a little silly until you think about how many people live alone. It's possible that no one has smiled at the people I encounter in days. It's even more likely that someone I smile at and greet kindly has had someone treat them rudely at some point recently. My smiles may not create world peace (yet), but I know that when people smile at me it changes my day for the better, so I assume I have the same effect. A great side effect is that smiling and greeting others warmly also helps keep me in a good mood.
Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.
One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.
As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.
He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"
The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."
"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.
To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."
Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"
At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one."
This story has gone all over the internet, usually without crediting Mr. Eiseley. Motivational speaker Joel Barker may have been one of the first to share The Starfish Story and credit Mr. Eiseley.
Debbie Nelson has just won her first election (by a landslide, no less!) to a 2-year term on the Arlington Heights Memorial Library Board of Trustees. Her victory was especially sweet because she worked incredibly hard for it and kept her campaign above the fray of the negative campaigning and mudslinging that so often seeps into politics.
Not only is Debbie a terrific trustee, but she's also my friend and the founder of the Random Acts of Kindness Club. Debbie's belief is that we all have a responsibility to each other and that we are all responsible for making the world a better place. She does her part through random acts of kindness for friends and people who aren't yet her friends (aka strangers). I admire Debbie for the values she is teaching her children and the example she is giving to all members of the Arlington Heights community through the way she lives her life. As a woman, Debbie is a fantastic mentor and role model for the next generation of young girls who will soon become adult women. She shows that you don't have to be nasty and snarky to get ahead. In fact, Debbie has proven that when you know who are, are comfortable in your own skin, live by the Golden Rule, and build others up, you can and will succeed.
One of my beliefs is that local government is more important than national government. Sure, the recent Presidential election was sexy and sucked up all the media attention for the better part of two years and I can't say I was immune to writing about it. I'm almost embarrassed for you to do a search for "Barack Obama" on Little Merry Sunshine. The number of posts with that tag is astounding. But no matter how exciting the national elections may be, the fact is that you get more bang for your vote with local elections. If you've got a problem with snow removal service, for example, President Obama can't help you, but picking up the phone and calling the mayor will get something done. If you've got kids (or plan to) then your local library and school boards will have a direct impact on shaping your child's life. Yes, it's sexy to vote for the president, but it's imperative that you vote in local elections. Your day-to-day life depends on it.
In that spirit, Little Merry Sunshine is pleased to endorse the following candidates for elected office in Arlington Heights.
For the 2-year term on the Arlington Heights Library Board of Trustees, Deborah A. Nelson, is strongly endorsed and easily the candidate of choice. Frankly, this was a no-brainer. Deborah was appointed by the Board of Library Trustees to fill the seat of retiring trustee, Jim Bertucci, in April 2008. At that time, not knowing any of the board members, she applied for the position and went through an interview process where she competed against other highly qualified applicants. Deborah's 20 years of experience in the non-profit sector including customer service, strategic planning, public relations, and fund raising, lay the perfect foundation for a dedicated library trustee. Community service and volunteerism are a part of Deborah's make up going back to her days in the Service Over Self club at John Hersey High School. Now she pays those lessons forward to a new generation by teaching the Character Counts! program at Patton Elementary School and founding the Random Acts of Kindness Club of Arlington Heights. As part of the Library Board of Trustees, Deborah is serving on the Board's Long Range Planning Committee, is the Board's liaison to the North Suburban Library System, and was part of the unanimous vote for a 0% tax levy. Deborah's commitment, character, experience, and integrity make her the ideal Library Board Trustee and I strongly encourage you to vote for her on April 7th.
For the office of Village President (aka Mayor), Little Merry Sunshine endorses Mayor Arlene Mulder. Although I have not always agreed with all of Mayor Mulder's decisions and would like to see more transparency in village government, continuing her leadership just makes good sense. After attending the Mayoral Forum sponsored by the Arlington Heights Chamber of Commerce and researching both candidates on my own, I came to the decision that Arlington Heights continues to need the leadership, vision, and commitment of Mayor Mulder. In addition to being the Village President, Mayor Mulder serves on a number of boards and committees, locally, statewide, and nationally. She also works across party lines to bring money into the Village. In spite of the lack of pay, Mayor Mulder treats her position as a full-time job. As the 7th largest town in the Chicago Area and the 12th largest town in Illinois, Arlington Heights needs a mayor with this kind of dedication. Mayor Mulder is also highly accessible to residents and this is part of what makes Arlington Heights a great place to live.
Although I am not making endorsements in the other races, I encourage you to educate yourself on the candidates and vote on April 7th. To do that, visit the Daily Herald's Election 2009 section. There, you can choose each of the races from a pull-down menu and read biographies of each candidate, and all stories, letters to the editor, and endorsements related to the races. To find your polling place, visit the Cook County Election Department at voterinfonet.com.
Let's face it: we live in some truly trying times. It's often difficult to even get out of bed in the morning. But for the last three days of positive activity on the Dow, all of our 401k plans are in need of CPR.
But these two young men at Purdue University have taken it upon themselves to be the Compliment Guys and raise the happiness level at Purdue. They're standing outside for 2 hours each week, in all kinds of weather, and passing out compliments to everyone who walks by. Watch the video and listen to their compliments. You can't help but smile. It will be involuntary. They are like the oasis in the desert with their compliments in these harrowing times.
What if we each made it our mission to pass out compliments to each person who helps us everyday? The check-out woman at Jewel. The man at the dry cleaner. The crossing guard or bus driver. The security guy at our office building. The anonymous customer service agent on the phone. Each person is unique and special. I bet that in just a couple of seconds you can easily find something to celebrate in each person you encounter.
In my experience, passing out sincere compliments not only makes the recipient happy, but also has a way of coming back and improving my own day.
Give it a try tomorrow. And let me know how it goes. How did the recipients respond? How did passing out compliments make you feel? How did you feel before you started passing out compliments and how did you feel at the end of the day?
Stories like this truly warm my heart. It's no secret that times are tough and sometimes we forget that some people don't have enough money to feed their pets. Sure it's easy to say "well, just give Fido away" UNLESS you've ever had a beloved pet. I'm telling you right now that I'd personally go without a few meals a month before letting Betsey and Ross starve or giving them away. Pets are calming and soothing. They love us unconditionally. Ross gives massages when I have migraines (really). They are good company. Dogs give their owners good exercise when they have to be walked (the dogs have to be walked, not the owners).
When his health-care consulting business dried up, George Olsen applied for the state's food stamp program, but didn't count on the difficulty in feeding Oliver and Gracie.
State aid doesn't cover food for his two golden retrievers, cherished family members for Olsen, of Vernon Hills.
After learning of his plight, dog trainer Cathie Sabin provided him with a 20-pound bag of dog food for free, and then was motivated to take it a step further by opening the Pooch Pantry in Mundelein.
"That animal in itself gives them comfort, gives them unconditional love," said Sabin, who hopes to keep her pantry stocked with dog and cat food, treats, used collars, and other supplies.
The food bank for pets, run out of Sabin's B.C. Dog Training Club, opened almost a month ago and is accepting dog and cat food donations, which it distributes at no cost to people suffering a financial crisis. With little publicity, she has handed out 12 to 15 bags of food every Saturday morning, mostly to senior citizens on fixed incomes, and expects the numbers to grow as word spreads.
Woodland Primary School in Gurnee has started collecting pet food to donate to the pantry.
There are several pet food pantries in Chicago, including a "foreclosure program" at PAWS, which has doled out 2,100 pounds of cat food and 2,240 pounds of dog food to needy families since September, a spokeswoman said. PAWS also offers foster care, pet food and emergency medical care and has about 40 people on its current recipient list.
Sabin believes her Pooch Pantry to be among the first in Lake County—reflecting a growing need during the economic downturn.
Nationally, animal shelters have reported rising numbers of people who are giving up their pets, skipping veterinarian visits and buying cheaper pet food. The evidence is largely anecdotal, but there's no doubt among advocates in the field.
"I think we are going to see more of these kinds of things if the economy doesn't turn around," said Steve Dale, a nationally syndicated pet care journalist.
Pet pantries have become a necessity in some areas, Dale said. "People are just opening their doors, letting [pets] out, or in some cases leaving them in foreclosed homes," Dale said.
Other owners, he said, are trimming their budgets and agonizing over how to keep their pets.
At Save-A-Pet in Grayslake, executive director Frank Corbi said he has seen about a 20 percent increase since last year in people relinquishing their cats or dogs.
Corbi described a man who had to return a pet because "he was literally living out of his truck."
Afterward, "he went outside and actually fell on his knees and cried," Corbi said. "I will never forget that."
At PAWS Chicago, the pet food bank is available only by appointment, said spokeswoman Susan Robinson. Most who need help are in foreclosure or unemployed, and their stories are heartbreaking, she said.
"We have had a couple of people whose animals have had a medical crisis," she said. "Now they can't afford" to feed them.
The hope, she said, is to try to help people for three to six months, with the understanding that they are trying to get back on their feet.
Sabin delivers a similar message. On a recent weekend, she explained to several people who dropped by her Mundelein pantry for food that she would do her best to help, but added a caveat.
Sabin also runs a non-profit dog rescue education group, and she talks to each pet food donor about the organization's mission and goals, allowing contributions to be tax-deductible.
Mary York, 57, of Round Lake Park, stopped by the Pooch Pantry to pick up some dog and cat food. She lives alone, if you don't count her Dalmatian mix, Oreo, 10; a beagle mix, Barley, 8; and a 9-year-old cat named Morris.
York, who is on a fixed income and has health problems, also has been trying to find a home for two strays a neighbor left with her.
"I have a full house," she said with a sigh. "They're my family. They are alarm clocks and everything else."
Another visitor to the pantry was Linda Plier of Waukegan, who donated food.
"People shouldn't be without their best friends," said Plier, who no longer has a pet of her own but appreciates their companionship. "I am lucky enough to still have a job."
Before he was referred to Sabin, Olsen, 60, said he was surprised to find so little help available for struggling pet owners in the suburbs. He figured he called 20 places as he tries to get his family through a tight spot after his consulting business soured.
"The thing that was disappointing and irritating to me is that when I called a few of the pet stores . . . their response was, 'No we don't do that. Maybe you should consider giving your pet up.' "
That would be a last resort, said Olsen, who hopes he can reciprocate the kindness shown him and help other pet owners.
"This is such an important piece of people's lives," he said.
Twelve years ago, my paternal grandmother died (not to be confused with my Nana who is still alive). We didn't have a great relationship, but missing her memorial service wasn't an option. I had to say goodbye and put some closure on our relationship for myself.
When she passed away, I was living in Washington DC and her memorial service was being held in Chicago. Because she was cremated, the service was planned for a Saturday when everyone in the family could be there ten days after her death. This was wonderful because the family was spread all over the country and it meant we could all save a few bucks on airfare.
The ten days between Grandma's death on May 1st and her memorial service on May 11th were very difficult for me at work. We were preparing to file a Summary Judgment brief in a case in the US District Court for the District of Columbia on May 10th and had been working insane hours - 14-16 hour days. I had been working 7 days a week for weeks, but this particular week I spent nights at the firm and didn't sleep at all and ate even less.
By the time we filed the brief late that Friday afternoon, I was a physical and emotional wreck and I still had to drive home, do laundry, pack, eat, get to sleep, and be at the airport in time for my 6:30 flight to Chicago. If everything went smoothly, I'd arrive in Chicago about 8:00, have enough time to have breakfast with my dad, and we'd be at the church in plenty of time for the 10:00 service.
By the grace of God, I arrived at Washington National Airport on time, but it didn't matter. We boarded the plane and about 20 minutes after we were scheduled to depart, our flight was canceled due to mechanical problems. Knowing I had to be on a plane to Chicago, I called United's customer service on my cell phone and they put me on the 8am flight, which was a full flight and scheduled to arrive at O'Hare at 9:30. The only problem was that I couldn't reach my dad to let him know he didn't need to pick me up and he should just go straight to the church. Then I called my uncles and the church and begged them not to start without me. I also managed to reach my mom who said she'd be waiting for me at 9:30 to rush me to the church. The church in Glencoe was exactly 30 minutes from O'Hare.
I got my boarding pass and discovered I was in the last row of the plane. Sitting down in the last row, I took a deep breath and suddenly all the emotions and exhaustion I'd bottled up for two weeks came rushing out as tears running down my face. My sobbing was completely uncontrollable and involuntary. Given the size of the plane, I knew that it would take 30 minutes just to get off and I'd never make it to the memorial service on time.
In spite of my best efforts to conceal my sobs, a few minutes later a flight attendant arrived. She asked what was wrong and although I tried to assure her that I was fine, I did manage to explain my situation. Without a word she left, only to reappear again and asked me to collect my things because someone in first class had offered to give me his or her seat so I would have a chance of getting to the church on time.
Now I'd flown first class a couple of summers before, but nothing will ever compare to this experience in first class. For the first time in weeks, I ate a real meal with real dishes and silverware, as opposed to take-out food with plastic silverware. I slept and woke up in Chicago refreshed and calm, two emotions I barely remembered. I'm not exaggerating when I say it was the best food and best sleep I've ever experienced.
When we arrived at O'Hare, they let me off the plane first and I ran all the way to the arrival pick-up area where I found my mom waiting. She sped all the way to the church, but the service had already started without me.
To this day I don't know who gave up their seat for me and I never had the opportunity to say thank you in person, but I've never forgotten how in one of the lowest moments of my life, a stranger came to my rescue.
I love stories about communities coming together to help others. My only wish is that the press would highlight these kinds of stories all year long, not just around Thanksgiving and Christmas. Obviously, this is also a very sad story, but I am moved by the generosity and kindness of friends, family, and strangers. And if you click on the story link, you'll see wonderfully loving comments by the readers of the Daily Herald.
By Steve Zalusky Daily Herald Staff Daily Herald, November 24, 2008
It was the weekend before Thanksgiving, but all through the house, Mike and Kara Landeweer's friends gathered to celebrate Christmas.
A Christmas tree stood in the living room and decorations covered the front of their Arlington Heights home.
Even Santa Claus made an early visit Sunday.
For the Landeweers, Christmas couldn't arrive soon enough. In a bedroom, 37-year-old Kara lay in her bed, her eyes closed, oblivious to the celebration in the next room.
This is likely the last Christmas she will spend with her husband Mike, a Mount Prospect police officer, her daughter Alexis, 2, her son Ryan, 6, and her stepdaughter Katie, 17. A brain tumor will soon claim her life.
Thanks to Elke Kadzielawski, the wife of one of Mike's friends on the Mount Prospect police force, and the Landeweers' many friends, the family had one last Christmas together Sunday. Carolers from Christian Life Church sang on the lawn, and when a siren sounded, the group began singing "Here Comes Santa Claus."
Santa Claus, Mount Prospect Police Officer Joe Morel, arrived, not by sleigh, but escorted by a Mount Prospect fire engine and patrol wagon.
He came bearing gifts from him and helpers, including a brand new bicycle and autographed pictures of Chicago Cubs players for Ryan and a Barbie doll for Alexis.
When Morel arrived, he handed Ryan a $20 bill - the money came from the tooth fairy, since Ryan had pulled out a tooth that day.
"Out of all the kids in the world this year, I decided I'm going to come to (your) house first," Morel told the children, adding "My elves have been hard at work."
It was a memorable afternoon for Katie, a senior at Christian Liberty Academy in Arlington Heights, who plans on being a nurse.
"I'll definitely be here for the kids. I love them very much," she said.
Mike Landeweer is humbled by what his friends and colleagues have done for his family.
"As horrible as this situation is, I'm blessed to have these wonderful people helping me," he said. "It's truly amazing."
In March 2007, Mike, Kara and Ryan were sitting around the family dinner table, when Kara suffered a seizure and doctors later found a brain tumor.
"Basically, it was the worst case scenario," Mike said.The average life expectancy, Mike said, was around 11 months.
Kara went on to survive surgeries to remove additional tumors, radiation treatment and chemotherapy, and even the removal of a bone flap in her skull when she came down with an infection.
For most of this year, Mike said, life seemed relatively normal. But in August, she lost mobility on her right side and her health began to slide once more.
Eventually, it was found that the cancer had spread to the frontal lobe of the brain.
"At that point, there was just nothing left to do. That's when we decided to bring her home," he said.
She is receiving hospice care now.
"We are here not only to celebrate Christmas but to celebrate Kara's life. She is a very strong, loving wife, mother and friend. She has never given up on her faith.
Kara always put everyone before herself. So to be a part of today is just a true honor," Elke Kadzielawski said.
The police department and the entire village donated money, time and gifts to Sunday's Christmas celebration.
"Kara's a great girl. and it means the world to us that we were able to give them the opportunity to celebrate Christmas," said Elke's husband, Mount Prospect police officer Ron Kadzielawski.
"To see the smile on the kids' faces makes it all worthwhile."
I actually found this website a number of months ago, but given my new re-focus on gratitude and hope and inspiration, I think it's important to bring it to light now.
Thank A Stranger is a website devoted to gratitude and thanking those we don't know for their random acts of kindness. The idea is that we all are helped by those around us and we need to celebrate that. Readers are asked to share their stories of how strangers helped them - sometimes in big ways and other times in small ways. Even though it hasn't been updated since June, if I'm having a bad day, I hop over there and feel inspired. Go visit and share your stories.
