Today I'm Grateful For . . .

This has been a crazy week. There's been a lot of work drama. I've lost count of the people I've personally known who have died this week or people I'm close to who have lost someone significant. I'm working through some tough personal stuff.

Through it all, however, what I'm focussed on is all that I'm grateful for. The list is long, so you might want to get comfortable.

I'm grateful for the ability to laugh at the outrageous. Sometimes the options are to laugh or cry and I find myself choosing "laugh" more and more these days.

I'm grateful for the Affordable Care Act. Because of it, mental health care now has parity with physical health issues. What does that mean? Your insurance company can't set crazy lifetime limits on care or say that you can only seek a certain number of treatment sessions if you're depressed. Treating mental illness is not "one size fits all." Thanks also to the ACA, women's health care now includes guaranteed coverage for reproductive care. This is a huge step forward.

I'm grateful for my health. Yes, I have hypothyroidism and yes, I've got a certain amount of weight to lose, but in the overall scheme of things, I'm healthy. And when I get ill, I can go to the doctor and not worry I'm going to go bankrupt or choose between paying medical bills and my mortgage.

I'm grateful for my family. Well, most of them. I'm grateful for my mom, my dad, my brother, and most of my extended family. They're pretty awesome and supportive. Hell, I'm grateful for the rest of them too. I'm grateful that they taught me what love is not.

I'm grateful for my friends - the new ones and the ones I've had for years. They love and support me all the time. They are witty and keep me in stitches. They are fun and adventurous and never let me take myself too seriously. These are the folks who make sure I never get too big for my britches.

I'm grateful for Sammy and Zoey. There's just something about pets that brings about immediate calmness. I give them full credit for my blood pressure remaining constant in the healthy range. Without them, the crazy Type A side of me would win.

I'm grateful for Betsey and Ross before them. They taught me how to love unconditionally. They broke my heart when they died, but I needed the lesson on how to recover from it, in that moment. Without it, I would never have survived the Summer of 2012.

I'm grateful for my job. Each day is an adventure and interesting. Today was one of the really good days.

I'm grateful for my presentation skills. They say that one of the greatest fears most people have is public speaking, but I've never been afraid to present to groups of people. I freak out about preparing my presentation, but actually presenting doesn't faze me in the slightest. That played out today . . .

I'm grateful for the mentorship my friend Tim has given me over the past six years. He's helped me grow into the alumni relations professional I am today by challenging me at every step and always demanding better of me. We've known each other for almost 25 years and he's always believed in me and seen more in me than I've sometimes been able to see in myself.

I'm grateful to be able to finally see myself through the lenses my forever friends have been looking through for many years.

I'm grateful to finally be learning how to better handle my stress and anxiety through yoga, mindfulness, journalling, and therapy. It took me 42 years, but I finally figured out that asking for help is not a sign of weakness.

Betsey and Ross: Their Absence Makes My Heart Grow Fonder

Betsey and Ross died one year ago today. Well, I guess technically it was tomorrow because it was the 23rd, but it was Friday, so I think of it as today.

I remember thinking I'd never get over that loss.

They never judged me. They never said I let them down, disappointed them, or didn't live up to their expectations. They were never embarrassed by me. Of course, they couldn't say any of those things. They were cats, after all. But I knew they didn't think them either.

All they wanted was to love me and to be loved by me. They didn't care if I didn't wear make-up or failed to shave my legs. They would snuggle with me anytime, any place. They loved snuggling up next to me when I was writing or reading and they always purred me to sleep at night. They helped me work and gave me regular weather reports from their perch in the window, where they also guarded the house from blowing leaves and other threats.

I'd never before felt the kind of unconditional love that pets give us.  I'd never felt that kind of unconditional love before, period.

I don't have kids and probably never will. Betsey and Ross were my kids.

The last words I said to each of them were, "Thank you for letting me be your mom."

A year later, I still miss Betsey and Ross. Don't misunderstand me, it's not as intense as it once was. Mostly, I just think of them fondly when I see their pictures. Once in awhile, though, something will happen that triggers some sadness.

A few weeks ago, for example, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a sound I hadn't heard in almost a year. Zoey was getting ready to throw up, just like Betsey used to do regularly. Of course, I couldn't stop Zoey from coughing up her hairball, but as I knelt on the floor cleaning up the mess at 2am, I was immediately taken back to the nightly clean-ups of Betsey throwing up and I started sobbing. That bottom of the gut uncontrollable sobbing. Sure, it was a little ridiculous, but I just couldn't stop. All I could think of was how much I missed Betsey.

I remember that afternoon in the vet's office like it was yesterday.

Betsey was first. I did not want to say good-bye to her, but her little body was just worn out. She could not digest or keep down any food and her quality of life was pretty low. I just held her and talked to her until she was gone, and even then, I didn't want to let go.

The vet took Betsey out of the room and while he was gone, I just cried and cried. I questioned whether I made the right decision and wished I could take it back.

Then he returned and I had another decision to make. I wasn't 100% sure I was strong enough to say good-bye to Ross at the same time I lost Betsey, but he was terribly sick too.

I took him out of his crate, still wavering about what to do, and that boy just about broke his neck looking for his sister. I could barely keep him in my arms. I looked around the room at Craig and at my vet hoping they would give me some guidance. Neither did. It was my decision alone. As Ross continued to hunt for Betsey, I knew what I had to do. If I took him home, he'd die of a broken heart, I had no doubt. I was certain he'd look for Betsey forever and his loneliness and stress would cause his already uncontrollable diabetes would get even worse.

Just like with Betsey, I held Ross and talked to him, through my tears, until he was gone. He held on longer than Betsey did, but it wasn't more than five minutes. Again, I didn't want to let go of my boy.

In the end, I walked out of the vet's office with two empty cat crates and sobbed all the way home. Luckily, I wasn't driving.

Today, my house is filled with the sounds and energy of growing kittens. It's a happy place, once again filled with the unconditional love of pets. We remember Betsey and Ross with lots of love, fondness for all the joy they brought to my life, and the life lessons they taught me.

Happy Birthday Betsey & Ross

Yes, yes, yes. I know Betsey and Ross died just over three months ago.

But today would be their 16th birthdays and I can't celebrate the Fourth of July and not think of them and all the joy they brought into my life for just under 16 years.

Ross enjoyed being a talker. He had a lot to say and never shied away from telling me what was on his mind. Although fireworks weren't his thing, he loved that everyone took July 4th to celebrate him. Ross would also want to know why he wasn't getting a car for his birthday. The answer that he was a cat and cats don't drive didn't really cut it.

Betsey knew her own beauty, but was never conceited about it. She loved a good party as much as anyone and loved celebrating her birthday.  She would enjoy extra cat nip and a good nap before putting her brother in his place.

Happy Birthday Betsey and Ross. I miss celebrating you today and hope you're having a big ole bash in Kitty Heaven.

Zoey and Sammy Go to the Vet

Yesterday was Sammy and Zoey's first visit to my vet, Dr. Nick Guedet at March Animal Hospital. They've previously been to the vet, but that was when they were still part of the Illinois Animal Rescue. They had not been to my vet yet.

I haven't seen my vet since I said good-bye to Betsey and Ross and was excited to share my babies with them because I knew all the techs and everyone in the front office would ooh and ahh over Sammy and Zoey. And I knew they would get the best care money could buy. I love the fact that I have a relationship dating back almost 12 years with March Animal Hospital. They know me and how I care for my pets and continuing the relationship felt good.

But I wondered if I would still be able to feel Betsey and Ross when I walked in the door, given all the time they'd been patients there and how many times in the last few months we'd all walked through the doors together.

From the moment Sammy, Zoey and I walked in, a huge fuss was made over them and believe me, they ate up all the attention. They purred loudly and pranced around their crate with so much pride, as though to say, "We know we're cute and we knew you'd think so too!" It all felt really good to me too.

And then I was placed in a room for their exam. A tech started to place us in the room where I put down Betsey and Ross and the second my feet crossed the threshold, I started to cry big tears. I tried to pretend I wasn't, but it was simply a moment I wasn't expecting. I wasn't expecting that moment. But here's what I love about March Animal Hospital. The tech saw immediately that I was upset and knew why, so she moved me. I know she didn't realize which room Betsey and Ross died in and I wasn't at all upset with her. Frankly, she couldn't have been sweeter. I'm sure that one day I'll be able to walk into that room again and not feel overwhelmed by the presence of Betsey and Ross, but it's going to take a little while.

Once the exam got started Sammy and Zoey did terrific. They are both very healthy and well-adjusted. In the past month, Sammy has gone from weighing 2.9 pounds to 4.25 pounds! Zoey weighed 2.3 pounds at the beginning of May and now weighs 3.56 pounds! They both have all their baby teeth and they took their shots like champs.

All in all, it felt really good to be back at my vet for a delightful reason. It helps make the sadness that I still feel, a little less sad. Maybe Betsey and Ross needed to go when they did because they knew Sammy and Zoey would need a loving home and before I could give it to them, I needed a little while to mourn.

Sammy and Zoey want me to tell you that if you're not following them on Twitter, you should. They tweet fairly often and like to chat about the lessons they are learning and the fun they're having.

Two months later and we have new life

So it's been two months since I said good-bye to Betsey and Ross. Crap. Even saying that brings tears to my eyes. I guess I should have known it would. I spoke about them and their passing with a friend on Monday night and cried more tears than I planned.

Do I miss them? Yep. I sure do. I see their pictures daily and I miss them a lot. But it was their time and I know that. I know I made the right decision.

I've sort of stopped thinking of myself as Betsey and Ross's mom. I've removed them from my Blogger profile. I no longer think about how much I miss them every day. I can (usually) speak about them without crying.

Those are enormous steps.

I think those steps happened because I took a huge leap of faith 10 days ago.

I adopted two beautiful kittens.  They are 12-weeks old tomorrow. I think it's a little fitting that they were born at the exact time I had originally planned to say good-bye to Betsey (February 24). What is it they say about one life ends so another can begin?

Anyway, the kittens are 12-weeks old. They are brother and sister litter-mates and they are a bundle of energy. I had almost gotten past feeling my house was too quiet when they arrived on Mother's Day, only to bring noise and life back to my house. They are goofy and silly in all the ways kitties are. Yesterday, I turned around to find the boy had climbed the screen of my sliding to my sliding glass door. They wake me up in the middle of the night when they decide it's time to find their times in the Indy 500 trials, racing across my face at 700 miles per hour. They are loving and cuddly and purr so loudly I can't hear myself think.

They make me happy.

In simplest terms, they are beyond cute. To call them cute is to understate their absolute adorableness.

And just like Betsey and Ross, they are rescue kitties. Along with their 3rd sibling, a brother, they were rescued off the mean streets of Chicago. A foster family in Libertyville loved them for their first 10 weeks and I fell in love with them via Petfinder.com. The foster family also litter box trained them. Thank goodness. With any luck, they will bring me almost 16 years of love and happiness, just like Betsey and Ross did.

So without further ado, please welcome Sammy (left) and Zoey (right) to my family. Oh, and they have Twitter.

It's Been A Month . . .

It's exactly one month since I said good-bye to Betsey and Ross.

I've gotten to the point where I can now mostly think or talk about them without crying or being sad, but every so often the pain is still raw.

Don't misunderstand me, I know I made the right decision, but I miss them.

• I miss them hopping up on the dining room table in an attempt to share my dinner.
• I miss Betsey nuzzling my neck and purring as I fall asleep.
• I miss Ross greeting me at the door each night.
• I miss the way they'd warm up my bed each night and give me the stink eye each morning when the alarm went off.
• I miss them shedding on everything and never being able to get their hair off my clothes.
• I miss the mess they'd make with their food on my bedroom floor.
• I miss finding Ross hiding in my bedroom closet or under the bathroom sink.
• I miss Betsey "talking" all night long.
• I miss the way they would groom each other, protect each other, and curl up into each other to sleep.
• I miss Betsey "helping" me work by laying across my left arm while I typed on my computer and "reading" every word I wrote.
• I miss waking up in the morning to find all my lower kitchen cabinets wide open because Ross has opened them during the night.
• I miss them talking to me while I am in the shower, where they knew they had a captive audience.
• I miss Ross's rough and tumble attitude. In 16 years, I never saw him lose his cool and calm demeanor. He even purred when he saw me coming with the insulin needle.
• I miss the way Betsey would suddenly be under foot before I had a can of tuna completely open, even if when I pulled it out of the cabinet she was three rooms away.
• I miss the how they would scratch at a closed door when I was on the other side because they thought I was having fun without them.
• I miss looking over at the wing-back chair and seeing Betsey curled up on it.
• I miss pulling out a chair at the dining table only to find Betsey or Ross curled up on it and giving me the "do you mind? I'm sitting here" look.
• I miss walking into the kitchen and finding Ross on the counter licking drops of water out of the faucet. I guess I'm just lucky he never figured out how to turn it on.

I guess I'm just trying to say I miss them a lot. I keep thinking I'm not going to miss them so much. People keep telling me it'll go away when I get new cats to replace them. I've actually looked at some cats online at the local shelters and considered adopting a cat a friend was giving away because her new home wouldn't allow her cat. But I'm just not ready. Maybe one day, but I don't see it happening any time soon.

I've Been Quiet Because I've Been Mourning

You may have noticed that I've been quiet since March 23rd when I posted Betsey and Ross's obituary.

The truth is that I've spent a lot of time crying and missing them. I miss them more than words can begin to say. In fact, even writing those words make me tear up and I've gone all day without crying once. Some days, I do really well and can smile when I talk about them or see their picture. But I haven't been able to read the obituary I wrote since I posted it because to see it is too still too much.

The cards, notes, and comments from friends and readers have helped me. It's amazing how many people really understand that pets are more than just pets. They're family. And, in a way, they're more than that. Unlike some family relationships, my relationship with Betsey and Ross was never complicated. They never judged or said "I told you so." I never felt inferior with them and they didn't care if I put make-up on in the morning. They simply loved unconditionally and let me love them unconditionally. They taught me that.

I picked their ashes up on Saturday morning from March Animal Hospital to bring Betsey and Ross home for the final time. Walking through the vet's door, I burst into tears. Kathy, one of the wonderful receptionists, spotted me and brought me the package containing their ashes, in one urn, and their paw prints. Inside the velvet bag was a card with a story a co-worker had sent me earlier in the week. Each time I read it, the story makes me feel just a little better.

Until we meet again at the Rainbow Bridge . . . 

There is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. 

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had been left behind. 

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly sops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; his eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carry him faster and faster. 

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again career the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from life but never absent from your heart. 

Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together . . .

Betsey and Ross are playing together at the Rainbow Bridge. And until we're together again, their ashes live in a special place in my house and their paw prints hang next to the collage of my favorite Betsey and Ross pictures.

Betsey and Ross Gardner: July 4, 1996 - March 23, 2012

Betsey and Ross age 10. Ross is wearing a little lipstick from a kiss he received from his mom.

Betsey and Ross Gardner were born on July 4, 1996 on the rough streets of Washington D.C. to a single cat mother. They were two of three kittens born that day and quickly taken in by a kindly gentleman in Northwest DC. After eight weeks of love and nurturing, he searched online for a warm and caring home for two of the kittens, as he could only keep the mom and one kitten and quickly found an eager, albeit nervous, adoptive first-time pet mom.

Siblings, best friends, and litter mates, Betsey and Ross were adopted by Jessica Gardner, a novice pet owner, under the cheerleading and mentorship of her friends Karen and Kelly, and moved into their new home, a palatial one-bedroom apartment in upper-middle-class DC suburb Alexandria, Virginia. Their home was complete with indoor bathroom facilities, regular feedings, ample water, and many windows from which to serenade the birds perched high in the trees.

When they were adopted, Betsey and Ross had no names, but through a nomination convention and then secure voting process, the names Betsey and Ross were chosen by Jessica's friends in honor of Betsy Ross, the creator of the American Flag, that their birthday was the Fourth of July and they were born in Washington, D.C. Betsey's name has an E because Jessica didn't know how to spell Betsy. True story.

Betsey and Ross had many hobbies, including sleeping, grooming each other, purring, snuggling with and kneading their adopted mom, and playing with their cat toys and each other. Betsey especially loved tuna and would "sing for her supper" each time a can was opened anywhere in 3-home radius. Ross was particularly fond of ice cream and all "human food" often attempting to take food right off his mom's plate. On one occasion, in 2007, Betsey saved her mom's life when a mouse entered their home in the northwest Chicago suburb of Arlington Heights. Without care for her own well-being, Betsey heroically killed the beast and saved the family. Ross kept feral cats at bay when he bravely guarded the house from the living room sliding glass door.

Betsey and Ross were often featured on their mom's blog, Little Merry Sunshine, where they even penned a few posts (and here and here and here). They also have a Twitterfeed where they chat with their friends whenever they can wrangle the computer or cell phone from their mom. Their last tweet was "We have loved our mom, @Jessica_Gardner & are grateful for the life she gave us. Although we are leaving her, we will always watch over her."

Both Betsey and Ross loved to travel. Although getting them in the car was never easy, once there, Betsey would sing along with the radio or make up her own tunes, chat with Ross, and then sleep. Ross preferred to check out the scenery. Both cats had well-used passports that were stamped in many far away lands, including DC, Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Michigan, North and South Carolina, Georgia, and Florida. They've seen the Atlantic Ocean, Lake Michigan, the Appalachian Mountains, the Chicago Skyline, and all the monuments in Washington DC. They even flew on airplanes. Plus, they went to Watervale once!

Betsey and Ross had a brief brush with fame (although fortune was not included) in 2008 when they were selected to be Super Dele-Cats for then presidential candidate Barak Obama and were featured on the website Cats for Obama (scroll about 3/4 of the way down the page). Before their passing, Betsey and Ross once again endorsed President Obama for a second term as our nation's Commander in Chief because of his belief that every cat's food dish should have catnip.

Although the final two years of their lives were filled with illness, they spent the majority of their almost 16 years in excellent health. Betsey became ill in the summer of 2010 and after countless tests, the diagnosis was hyperthyroidism and cystitis. Until just recently, neither of these illnesses slowed Betsey down. She steadfastly crawled into bed nightly to snuggle and lick her mom's eyelids. Never one to complain, Betsey was brave throughout many treatment cycles, concealing her physical pain until it was too overwhelming to hide and her body simply shut down. Ross was diagnosed with Diabetes and a cancerous Mast Cell Tumor in June 2011. Since that time, he fought an amazing battle, but in the end, the Diabetes won out and Ross was no longer able to control his major organs.

Many people believed Betsey to be aloof and sometimes mean because she was an introvert, not the easiest to get to know and would often hiss at or hide from anyone other than her mom and those she knew best. The truth was that Betsey was fiercely loyal, loving, and playful, usually greeting her mom at the front door, eager to share the adventures of her day. Recently, Betsey showed her true colors when her mom had the stomach flu. Although sick herself, Betsey stayed by her mom's side throughout the ordeal using her purring and kneading powers to bring her mom back to good health.

Ross loved everyone. Just step within three feet of him and he'd start purring and delighted in having his Budda belly rubbed. He also served as the official family doorman, greeting all visitors with hospitality and warmth. Ross loved to play Hide & Go Seek; his favorite spot was inside a dark closet or underneath his mom's bed (aka The Cat Cave).

Having moved to Lake Bluff, Illinois in September 2011, both Betsey and Ross loved exploring the family's new home and making their special places on the new sofa, in the walk-in closet, in the bathtub, on the bed, and on the wingback chair. Starting life in the mean streets of DC and ending up on Chicago's swanky North Shore, Betsey and Ross's lives were a true Horatio Alger story.

Betsey will be remembered for her outspokenness when she could see the bottom of the food dish (even if that were only possible because she'd pawed her way to the bottom of a full bowl), the way she sang in the backseat of the car whenever she visited her vet, her kisses and healing kneading powers, and her loud purr. Ross will be remembered for his love of snuggling, his racing around the house like it was his personal Indy 500 track, his loud purr and kisses, his general rough and tumble attitude, and the way he finagled liposuction in 2005. Of course, the yellow onsie he had to wear after surgery made it all worth it.

When asked for a comment, through her tears, Jessica said, "Betsey and Ross were the best first pets I could ever have asked for. Having not grown up with pets of any kind, I was terrified that first night, but they quickly came to inhabit a large part of my heart. I truly loved each and every day that I was allowed to be their "mom" and only hope I brought as much to their lives as they brought to mine. Saying good-bye to them is breaking my heart, but I take comfort in knowing that they came into this world together and they are leaving together. They have not spent more than one night apart in their almost 16 years and now they will spend eternity together running freely and in perfect health in Kitty Heaven. Knowing they are both free of their illnesses also brings me peace. I will think of them often, but especially on the 4th of July as I'm watching fireworks."

Betsey and Ross spent their final night snuggled up with their mom, purring and enjoying their favorite foods, and generally unaware of their fate. In their final hour, love filled the room as they said their good-byes.

Throughout their lives, Betsey and Ross had a few special caregivers they dearly loved, including Dr. Donna Krochak at the Alexandria Animal Hospital in Alexandria, Virginia, Dr. Jennifer Kinnavy and Dr. Nick Guedet of March Animal Hospital in Arlington Heights, Illinois, and Andrea Tredway, vet tech extraordinaire and the cousin of Jessica, Betsey's mom, in St. Charles, Missouri who always took Jessica's panicked phone calls about her pet's health. For their skill, love and care, the family will always be grateful.

Betsey and Ross are survived by their mom Jessica, and many other friends and family members, including a special friend who they know is giving Jessica some TLC tonight and was there with them in their final moments.

Owning My Own Home: The First 6 Months

Six months ago today, I woke up with a great amount of excitement and just a bit of panic. If everything went well at the final walk-through and barring any last minute surprises, I'd be a first-time homeowner before I went the day was over.

I won't tell you it all went smoothly because that would be a lie. But looking back at it all through the lens of owning my own home for 6 months, all the stress was worth it.

Within about 6 weeks of moving in, I was completely unpacked. I forced myself to live with bare walls for 2 1/2 months so I could be completely certain about the furniture placement and acquire a few important family heirlooms from my dad.

Possibly the smartest thing I did was to have my real estate agent measure each of the rooms and window and door locations and sizes during my inspection. I used her measurements to create a to-scale floor plan of each room and then drew all of my furniture to scale on separate paper and moved it all around on the floor plan until I got it right. When I moved in, I had the floor plans taped up in each room and it made placing the furniture easy peasy. I also had my entire kitchen set up before the movers arrived with my furniture. This meant I could immediately start cooking and knew where cleaning supplies, garbage bags, and toilet paper were located. All of my boxes were labeled with specific rooms with general content lists on the outside, so I could quickly unpack and not have to move boxes from room to room because they were placed correctly in the first place.

Six months later, my walls are decorated, I've got curtains in the living room and dining room (I am still curtain-less in my bedroom and office), wine has been spilled on the carpet (white, not red), I've thrown my first parties and feel settled in my home. Betsey and Ross officially have a Cat Cave under my bed, have picked their favorite pieces of furniture, and know where the warmest spots are based on the location of the sun throughout the day. They, too, have stained the carpet, but we're dealing with that. I've met a number of my neighbors and know which restaurants have the best delivery.

I've gotten into a routine in my home and I love that on the first of each month, rather than paying rent, I pay a mortgage, my condo is mine, and if I want to change the paint or the carpet or an appliance or anything else, I can do that.

Frankly, there were no fewer than a gazillion people involved in the purchase of my first home and I'm incredibly grateful for all the help and wise counsel I received. Purchasing my own home is the best decision I've made in a very long time and I couldn't be happier.

Whitney Houston RIP

In the midst of my first dinner party last night, a friend blurts out "Oh my God! Whitney Houston is DEAD!" We weren't talking about Whitney Houston or anything related to her, so I thought maybe he'd suddenly been afflicted with Tourette's Syndrome. He's been fighting a head cold all week and had just popped two Advil, so you never know. Immediately, the other three of us grabbed our iPhones, began scouring the interwebs for details. I flipped on the tv, but CNN, Headline News, MSNBC, Fox News, and even E! were all focussed on other "more important" things. Fortunately, we finally received confirmation from Scott Kleinberg on Twitter.

And then the inappropriateness began. Tim, walked into the kitchen for a refill on wine, saw Betsey and Ross's medicine shelf and started snapping pictures. A few moments later, thanks to Instagram, the world was treated to this:

@Tim State: "Supplies for a diabetic cat? Or found next to Whitney Houston?"

Yes, I know. Horribly inappropriate. The comments on Facebook ranged from "never too soon for a drug addict joke! LOL!" to "You are so not right." That was my favorite. Betsey and Ross refused to speak to Tim for the rest of the evening because they believe he violated their HIPAA rights, but the legal expert in the room claimed HIPAA laws don't apply to cats. Whatever. Clearly I was outnumbered.

As a teen, I loved Whitney Houston. I had all her albums on cassette tape and played them on an endless loop. In 1987, my mom, my friend Tiffany and I saw her in concert at Poplar Creek. Tiffany and I were in the cheap seats in the back, while my mom sat practically stage-side right next to Whitney's mom and famous singer in her own right, Cissy Houston.

Tiff and me in 1987 at the Whitney Houston concert at Poplar Creek. If you look closely, you'll see my Swatch on my wrist.

Even though it's been years since Whitney Houston was truly popular, there are a number of songs, that for me, transcend time and never fail to stop me in my tracks. In no particular order, they include her rendition of the "Star Spangled Banner" at the 1991 Superbowl, her cover of Dolly Parton's "I Will Always Love You" from The Bodyguard, "One Moment in Time" from the 1984 Olympics, and the a cappella version of "How Will I Know."

There may never be another singer who can handle this song the way Whitney did. It was the perfect way to unite the country with pride as we entered the first Iraqi war.

Another great love song. I'm sure we've all felt this way more than once. I love this song because you've got to have real vocal chops to sing a capella. No auto tuner. Just you.

Is it possible to listen to "One Moment in Time" without being completely inspired to be your best?


Here's Whitney singing "I Will Always Love You" from VH1's Divas Live Save the Music in 1999. It's the perfect way to remember her.

I imagine tonight's Grammy Awards will be quite moving. Whitney Houston will be missed. Voices like hers are a rare gift to the world. RIP Whitney Houston.

No Means No

Have you seen the adorable video of the lovesick puppy attempting to get some lovin' from the cat on Huffington Post?

No? Don't worry, I've got your back. I've brought it to you.



Such a cute puppy. Just wants some of his affection returned.

As I watched the video, two things struck me. First, the non-responsive cat looks an awful lot like Betsey. Second, that's pretty much how she'd respond to any dog violating her personal space like that. Wait, no, she'd probably hiss at him and claw his eyes out. Then she'd have him for lunch. She'd let him know that no means no.

Betsey. She's a princess, but you shouldn't mess with her. No means no.

Oh My God, We're Moving!?!

This is Betsey, of Betsey and Ross, Little Merry Sunshine's cats.

Ross and I just learned that we're moving to some place called "Lake Bluff." We don't know where this place is, but we don't like it.

Frankly, we're happy here in Arlington Heights. We've been here for 11 years and we have no need to change. We've spent a lot of time marking our territory to insure all the neighborhood animals knew who was boss. Do you know how long it takes to mark a whole house? It's hard work. And we're 15. When we moved to Arlington Heights, we were 4, and had tons of energy. Now, we're senior citizens who like to lounge around all day.

We have to find new hiding places. We've got great spots all over the house. Under the bed. In the closet behind the towels. Under the bathroom sink. Behind the sofa. In the rocking chair. Behind the piano. In the pantry. And many more that Mom doesn't know about. And now we have to find new hiding spots.

Is this "Lake Bluff" place even on a bluff with a view of a lake or it is just a bunch of false advertising like the "heights" in Arlington Heights? When we moved here, we thought we were moving to the top of the world, but we're not. We're on the middle of the flatlands. It's nothing like our home in Alexandria, Virginia. Out there, it was hilly. In Arlington Heights, it's just flat for as far as the eye can see. We hope this "Lake Bluff" place lives up to its name.

Another reason we don't want to move is because our vet is just down the road a piece about 10 minutes away. Ross sees the doctor frequently because he's got diabetes and cancer and I have to get my thyroid checked periodically. We love our doctors, Drs. Kinnavy and Guedet, at March Animal Hospital. Everyone at their office knows and loves us and we love them. We're practically celebrities over there. What if we have an emergency and we have to get to the vet quickly?

We like our neighbors. Carol and Courtney, Louise, Don, and Roxanne. They're all friendly to us. Carol comes over to play with us sometimes when Mom is gone. We even like our grandma. She remembered to feed us tonight when Mom forgot. Ross has to eat and then get his insulin shot on schedule. Who will feed us if Mom is out and forgets to come home?

That's it. We're not moving. Mom didn't ask us if we wanted to move and we have legitimate reasons for wanting to stay put. We're not going anywhere. Period.



This is Ross.

Betsey doesn't speak for me. She's being silly. No, we weren't asked for our opinion, but it sounds like our new house is beautiful and we're going wherever Mom goes. Period. As for Mom forgetting to feed us tonight, she remembered when she walked in the door just 5 minutes after her normal time, but her mom had already done it. When it was time, Mom gave me my insulin. Mom always remembers or gets us fed, so it'll all be okay. She takes excellent care of us and if I'm not worried about getting to our favorite vet when we need to, considering I'm the one with the biggest health challenges, then Betsey should chill out.

I'm excited about our new home. New hiding places. And I hear we can see a lake from our bedroom. Mom says our house is also very high up. New friends. It's gonna be great!

Happy 15th Birthday Betsey & Ross!

Betsey and Ross, May 26, 2011, when we still thought they were both healthy

15! Betsey and Ross are 15 today. Wow.

In cat years, that makes them either 77 or 82, depending on which cat years calculator you believe. Either way, they're no spring chickens, as we've discovered in the past 12 months.

12 months ago, Betsey was diagnosed with Hyperthroidism, which has been surprisingly easy to manage with Methimazole, a transdermal drug that I rub into her ear. We've been really fortunate that Betsey's had almost no side effects. Almost a year later, Betsey if pretty much back to her prissy, loving self.

Ross was diagnosed this past Tuesday with a urinary tract infection, Diabetes, and Cancer, after having lost over 25% of his body weight and developing a Mast Cell Tumor on his front left paw. He's now receiving two insulin shots per day and I'm overcoming my fear of needles. Because of his age, the location of the tumor, and after wonderfully thoughtful counsel from my cousin Andrea, a vet tech for almost 20 years, and my incredible vets, Dr. Kinnavy and Dr. Guedet who have treated Betsey and Ross for close to 10 years, and Dr. Feucht, who had to deliver the news of Ross's cancer and answer my questions through my tears, from March Animal Hospital, I've decided that we're not going to attempt to remove the tumor and will simply monitor him and keep him comfortable. Don't tell Ross he's so sick though. Aside from not having much appetite, he's acting pretty normally.

But today isn't about them being sick, it's about their birthday! And we all know how I feel about birthdays!

Betsey and Ross needed a new kitty condo, so for a mere $956 (plus shipping & handling), I purchased the Fantasia Condo below.

From PamperedPawGifts.com

They also received some cat caviar from AffordableCaviar.com. At only $250 (including shipping) for nine 4oz jars, that's quite affordable.

Cat caviar. Doesn't it look yummy?

I don't know how much longer Betsey and Ross will be around, but each day they bring me oodles and oodles of joy and I'm honored to have been their mom for 15 years.

Enjoy your 4th of July and remember why we're all celebrating today: Betsey and Ross.*

Happy Birthday 15th Betsey and Ross!

*Okay, that's not true, but don't tell Betsey and Ross. They honestly believe all the fireworks, parades, picnics, etc. are all about them. Did I mention they're cats and a little self-centered? Also, to be sure, Betsey and Ross did not receive the crazy gifts above. After all the money I've willingly given to the vet in the last six weeks, there are no birthday presents this year. They both received huge hugs and kisses as I told them I loved them.

Pure Michigan...Sand

On my way to the vet with Betsey tonight, I heard a Pure Michigan ad on the radio and, as they almost always do, it brought tears to my eyes. I don't know if I'm just overly tired from working late 2 nights, Birthapalooza celebrated over 3 nights, and a Lake Forest College alumni Architectural Boat Cruise last night or if I'm just missing Watervale, but as soon as they said those magic words "Pure Michigan," I got all teary.

A little while later, as I was waiting on the doctor to bring Betsey back to me after performing various tests, I was checking Facebook on my phone and discovered that my friend Christie from Watervale had placed this amazing Pure Michigan "Sand" ad on her Facebook page.

Just what I needed in that moment.

The beach and the sand and the water bring me peace. Digging my toes in the sand, listening to the waves crash, and feeling the sun beat down on my skin is better than any form of therapy I could possibly find. Watching the ad, I was instantly taken to Watervale. Even if it was only for 30 seconds, those were the most peaceful 30 seconds of my day.

Enjoy.



Because I love you, here's another brilliant Pure Michigan ad, Perfect Summer.

Questions! I Got Questions!

Thank you so much to everyone for the incredible outpouring of support you gave me in response to my post last night about my new job as the Alumni Relations & Events Manager at Lake Forest Graduate School of Management. Your good wishes and encouragement really mean a lot to me.

Along with all the wonderful support, I also received some very good questions and I thought I would just hold a "press conference" on LMS to answer them.

Now that you've got this new job, will you continue to do Mary Kay?

Great question! Thank you for asking. Yes, I will continue my Mary Kay business, much the way I do now. I will continue to offer Wacky Wednesday specials for my clients via email and deliver their products in a timely manner. Unfortunately, I will no longer be able to offer daytime appointments, but I will still be able to see my wonderful clients on evenings and weekends. I love my Mary Kay business and my clients and cannot imagine giving it up.

What about your involvement with the Chamber? Will you still be active on the Board and in the Professional Women's Council?

I will continue to be a member of the Arlington Heights Chamber of Commerce because I believe wholeheartedly in their mission of supporting local businesses and because as an entrepreneur, there is simply no better organization of which to be a member. Unfortunately, I did have to step down from the Board of Directors yesterday and, more than likely, I won't be able to attend PWC. Stepping down from the Board was a difficult decision, as I've thoroughly enjoyed being part of all that's been accomplished over the past two years, but stepping down was the only way I could pursue this opportunity. PWC is also a great group and I give lots of credit to for making my Mary Kay business so successful. The event planning experience I gained by chairing PWC was invaluable in helping me secure my new job.

What about Little Merry Sunshine? Will you continue to write Little Merry Sunshine and will you start posting more often?

Little Merry Sunshine isn't going anywhere. I love writing my blog and have missed writing it. I've been lazy about it the past few months for a number of reasons that are unimportant now. Truthfully, I have a number of posts that are about half finished. It's my hope that I'll feel more inspired to write.

How do Betsey & Ross feel about your new job?

Well, that's a good question. Frankly, I hadn't even considered it, but because you asked, I asked them and here's the transcript of their response:

"Betsey and Ross wish to express their sincere congratulations to their mom on her new job at Lake Forest Graduate School of Management. We will remain happy for her as long as this job has no negative impact on our lives. As long as we still have constantly full food bowls and clean litter boxes, we'll be fine. Our only other concern is that her new early rising time will disrupt our beauty sleep, but we'll fix that by scratching her eyes out in her sleep. Ha! Ha! We jest!"

Well, that's not exactly the ringing selfless endorsement I suppose I was hoping for, but they are cats and it did mention me, so that's positive.

I know that Lake Forest Graduate School of Management isn't part of Lake Forest College, but aren't they located on the LFC campus? How will it feel to work on the campus of your alma mater?

It is true that LFGSM used to be located in what is now known as Buchanan Hall on the South Campus of Lake Forest College, but they moved to their "new" headquarters in West Lake Forest (off of Rte. 60, just east of I-94) some time in the last decade (I don't remember exactly when).

How much are you getting paid?

I'm sorry, but that's a very personal question and one I will not answer. Next question, please.

Will you continue to volunteer on the Alumni Board at Lake Forest College?

Yes. I will definitely remain on the Alumni Board at LFC. In fact, I'm participating in Speed Networking at the end of the month. By the way, you're a LFC alum...have you donated to the Annual Fund yet this year? Click here to donate (even if you're not an alum you can donate).

Is it true that you have officially declared that "Winter is dead to me"?

Yes, that's true. If you live anywhere near Chicago, you know that on top of the blizzard last week and more snow this winter than we typically have, we are now experiencing the coldest weather in years. It's something like -15 tonight. Seriously. That's cold. I'm done with Winter. It is dead to me. Spring can't arrive fast enough. Thank God that pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training in 5 days and Cubs Opening Day is a mere 50 days away.

Okay folks, that's all the questions for today. We'll hold another press conference soon.

An Open Letter to Betsey and Ross

Dear Betsey and Ross,

I appreciate that you've both had a difficult month.

Betsey was sick and we thought she had cancer. She was poked and prodded, x-rayed and ultrasounded. She's lost over 10% of her body weight, stopped eating, peed blood, stopped pooping, had exploding diarrhea and puked on every flooring surface in the house (and even some furniture), and had to adjust to new food. She's had her belly shaved by perfect strangers and had their fingers up her butt, which, for the record, she does not like one bit.

And during it all, Ross took it like a man and licked his underarms bald.

And, of course, you both turned 14. You're sullen teenagers, I get it.

I've dealt with the sleepless nights, late night visits to the ER vet, the ridiculous amount of money I spent, and not complained once about the diarrhea or puke I've stepped in more than once . . . barefoot. I've cleaned it all up, happily, thinking to myself, "at least she's eating again."

But Betsey is fine. She does not have cancer. She has hyperthyroidism and cystitis. Both chronic and manageable and relatively inexpensive to treat.

So now that we're past the trauma of it all and you're both going to live many more healthy years, can we please, for the love of God, return to using the litter box exclusively? Again, I understood that exploding diarrhea and throwing up cannot be controlled easily, but now that we're past that, let's get back to our normal routine and quit ruining the carpets.

Despite what you both obviously believe, I do not live to simply care for you. I have my own life, run a business, sit on two Boards, volunteer, have a social life, date, write, and garden, just to name a few of the things that keep me busy.

I love you both very much, but my patience is wearing thin on this matter.

Love,

Your mom

P.S. If you could not claw my eyes out in my sleep tonight, that would be great.

Response from Betsey and Ross:

Quit your whining and get back to work! We rule this house, not you. And go buy some more catnip! NOW! We are CATS. You knew what you were in for when you adopted us. We don't take attitude from anyone, especially you. Oh, and scratch our bellies til we purr please.

Happy 14th Birthday to Betsey & Ross!

Betsey (l) and Ross (r) in 2006 when they were 10.

As difficult as it is to believe, Betsey and Ross turn 14 on Sunday. That's right, they were born on the 4th of July and (for those of you who are new here) were born in Washington DC, which, of course, is how they got their names. Anyway, they're turning 14!

I say it's difficult to believe they're 14 because they still act like they're about 5. They run around the house chasing each other, fight with the feral cat outside (while remaining safely on this side of the sliding glass door), groom each other, love each other, jump all around playing with their toys, and with the exception of the last month, have had no major health problems. As you can see below, they're also both into politics and are big fans of President Obama. In fact, they Super Dele-CATS for (then candidate) Barack Obama and were featured on Cats for Obama.

The last month has been a bit traumatic with Betsey and worrying that she had cancer, but as of today, we know she's cancer free, has a beautiful clean bladder and excellent kidney and liver functioning. Her final diagnosis is cystitis and hyperthyroidism, both chronic and inexpensively treatable. The truth is that she's probably had both of these issues for years, but we just didn't know it because the cystitis sat dormant and we had no reason to run blood tests.

Betsey, Ross, and I have a lot of people to thank for their kindness over the last month including the great doctors at Animal ER and Veterinary Specialty Center, Dr. Jennifer Kinnavy at March Animal Hospital for never giving up on Betsey and keeping me (relatively) calm, vet tech extraordinaire (and my cousin) Andrea for dealing with my panic so well, Keefer's Pharmacy in Mt. Prospect for making up all the fabulous drug cocktails for Betsey, Dr. Donna Krochak at Alexandria Animal Hospital in Alexandria, VA for giving Betsey and Ross such outstanding care in Virginia to ensure their continued good health in Illinois, and our family and friends who have continually asked about how Betsey is doing.

Betsey and Ross appreciate that everyone takes the weekend to celebrate them by attending parades, festivals, backyard BBQs, fireworks, etc. They only ask that you act responsibly by not drinking and driving and also take a moment to remember that it's also our country's 234th birthday. The rest of the weekend you can celebrate Betsey and Ross.

Here's a great soundtrack for the weekend thanks to NPR.

You probably also want to listen to the Declaration of Independence as read by the broadcasters at NPR. When was the last time you listened?

Inspiration from Michael Jordan

Coming down off one of the best weekends in ages (more about that later this week) with very little sleep, today was a rough Monday and I had a tough time finding my inner motivation to get going. It was especially tough because I knew that today was going to include yet another trip to the vet with Betsey and wouldn't include any answers yet.

So I turned to one of my favorite sources of inspiration . . . Michael Jordan. I think you'll find these videos inspiring too.

Maybe It's My Fault - Michael Jordan Nike Commercial


Look Me In the Eyes - Michael Jordan Nike Commercial (#2 in the "Become Legendary" series)


Failure - Michael Jordan Nike Commercial


Happy Tuesday!

Just What Betsey and Ross Need . . .

A Facebook and Twitter friend of mine, Scott Cisek, posted about this new liveblogging tool for cats today. Yes. Seriously.

Cats Can Now Tweet with New Liveblogging Device
from Tech-on! via Mashable.com

Prototype liveblogging device that no respectable cat (IMHO) would ever wear. From Tech-on!

If you love your cat so much that you can’t stand to be away from it — even for a hot second — you’re in luck: Sony Computer Science Laboratories (CSL) Inc has developed a liveblogging device for Mr. Mistoffelees and friends.

This revolutionary new toy, which was created with the help of the University of Tokyo, comes all pimped out with a camera, an acceleration sensor and a GPS, which monitors kitty’s every move, translating actions like walking, eating and sleeping into tweets. Sadly, there are only 11 fixed phrases currently available (I’m guessing, “I left a lovely hairball in your sneaker” is not among them), but Sony CSL is hoping to improve Fluffy’s conversational skills soon.

The device fits easily onto the cat’s collar, so as to avoid hindering its movement, which means your cat can tweet all over the neighborhood.

We’ve seen an influx of novel Twitter functions of late: tweeting trees, tweeting beds and even tweeting cows. While the tech may seem kind of, well, silly, we could see it being of use to people besides lonely cat ladies. For instance, such a collar could be exceedingly useful for zoologists and the like.

What do you think of the tweeting cat collar? Genius or cat-astrophically ridiculous?

I just have one thing to say: Betsey and Ross have a birthday coming up (they'll be 14 in a month!) and no one (and I mean no one) better get this for them. I will mess you up if you do. The absolute last thing I want is them tweeting about how they need more love or food (believe me, they get plenty of both). No one want to hear Ross opine about civil rights for cats or how he needs to look sexy for the ladies and needs some liposuction.

Plus, seriously, someone else has a birthday in just two weeks that's more important than Betsey and Ross's. I'm just saying.

Ross Has "Self-Esteem" Issues?

My LFC friend Allison posted a link to the company Neuticles over on Facebook this morning. Her comment was "Ok, this is so funny. Who would ever spend the time or money for that matter?"

As I read about Neuticles testicular implants, I kept thinking about a conversation my cat Ross and I might have . . .

"Uh, Mom, can we talk?"

"Yes, Ross, what is it?"

"Well, um, it's kind of embarrassing."

"It's okay. You can tell me anything."

"Have you noticed how Betsey is all surly towards me and spent all night last night hissing at me?"

"How could I not notice? She kept me awake all night too."

"She doesn't want to snuggle with me anymore."

"Oh, don't pay any attention to her. She just likes to have space sometimes. She'll be back tonight."

"I think she's being mean and rejecting me because I'm not manly."

"Um, what?"

"You neutered me and I'm not a man anymore. You destroyed my self-esteem! The ladies don't like me because I don't have testicles."

Spitting Diet Coke across the room: "What?? What did you just say?"

"But if I could get Neuticles testicular implants, my self-esteem would be better and all those hot lady cats would be swarming around to get a piece of ME!"

"Uh, Ross, trust me, your self-esteem is fine."

Oh. My. God. Seriously? Neuticles wants me to believe my cat has self-esteem issues? Fortunately, the conversation above did not actually happen (like I had to say that), but what are the good folks over at Neuticles thinking? "Neuticles allows your pet to retain his natural look, self esteem and aids in the trauma associated with neutering." REALLY? Give me a break. My cat's self-esteem doesn't have anything to do with whether or not he's got testicles. If he's got self-esteem at all, it comes from the fact that he's loved and doted on. And I assure Neuticles that my cat does not sit around all day contemplating his lack of manhood.