I'm so happy 2011 is almost over. Pretty much it's been a year of failure for me.*
I am not one of Fortune Magazine's 50 Most Powerful Women in Business. I turned 40 and am no longer eligible for Crain's Chicago Business annual 40 Under 40 List. I was not named Time's Person of the Year. Once again, I did not receive a MacArthur Foundation Genius Grant or the Nobel Peace Prize. The good folks associated with The Pulitzer Prizes continue to pretend I don't exist (don't they read Little Merry Sunshine????). Barbara Walters thinks she's too good for me and continues to choose folks like Steve Jobs, The Kardashian KFamily (it's got a silent K), and Herman Cain as more "fascinating" than me. I didn't win a Grammy because evidently "best concert performed in a car or shower" is still not a recognized category. I continue to poll at 0.00% in Iowa and New Hampshire with no margin of error, yet again insuring I will not be first female President of the United States. I could go on, but you get the idea. 2011 has been a year of injustice and utter failure.
As the year winds down, I did have one very important win. I had my picture taken with Santa at the CASE V Conference this past weekend! Santa even framed the picture for me, for free, in a frame that says "friends." With Santa as my friend, I don't need all those other public accolades.
I take solace in all of my other losses knowing that all those winners may be richer, better looking, skinnier, more powerful, floozier (I also make up words and Merriam- Webster Dictionary ignores my suggestions), more electable, etc. than me, but they probably didn't have a 2011 picture with Santa. So in the end, I win.
*To be sure, this was written entirely tongue-in-cheek. I actually had an amazing year. I have a job I love and I became a first-time homeowner this year. What more could I want?