Instant Underpants
While I can see some usefulness in this product if you're in need of a quick change or if you happened to accidentally walk out of the house commando, I never want to put on a pair of wet undies. Once you soak them in water, how long does it take them to dry? I love the website's motto: "It's better to have damp underpants than no underpants at all!" Um, okay, sure.*
*Oddly enough, I could have used these on Saturday night when I took that big spill in the puddle.Terry the Swearing Turtle
This is probably not the talking toy you want to give your kids, but it's sure to provide hours of hilarious fun for all. With 25 shocking outbursts, Terry is probably also educational. h/t to my cousin-in-law David.
Here's a video demo of Terry's foul mouth. As always, if you read LMS via email, click here to visit the site and watch the video, which is really NSFW or anyone with sensitive ears. Trust me.Playmobil Security Checkpoint
Do you think that today's generation of kids will grow up playing TSA Agent, rather than Doctor? If you give your kids this cool Playmobil Security Checkpoint toy, they're sure to imitate their favorite TSA agent in no time! Disposable rubber gloves for the enhanced pat downs don't seem to be included.
Mr. Bacon vs Monsieur Tofu Bendie Action Figure SetMy bacon loving friends will tell you that Bacon wins hands down every time, but my vegetarian friends insist that Tofu's got it going on. With the Mr. Bacon vs. Monsieur Tofu Bendie Action Figure Set, you get to decide and it can be different every time!
Squirrel Feet Earrings & NecklaceDiamonds may be a girl's best friend, but "real recycled taxidermy" squirrel feet unquestionably tell her how you really feel. There will be no question of your feelings when she eagerly and carefully unwraps the small, beautifully wrapped box on Christmas morning containing these gems. Tears will surely be involved. Plus, with Squirrel Feel Jewelry, you don't have to worry that you mistakenly bought blood diamonds. I'd like to say that no squirrels were hurt in the making of this jewelry, but I don't see the PETA seal of approval anywhere.
The Manslator
Men, do you ever wonder what your woman really means when she tells you something? You want to believe that she can be taken at face value, but sometimes you have this gut feeling there's a hidden message, right? Thanks to the Manslator*, you no longer have to wonder. No, I don't know if there's an iPhone app for this. Sorry.
*I'm including this important gift for a two reasons (in no particular order): (1) I've heard that many men failed their "woman to English" translation class in high school (not that I've ever met any) and (2) it can also be used for women to translate what men are really saying (not that it's all that complicated). Don't hate me by saying this gift is sexist. I didn't create it. I'm just letting you know it exists.
Hahaha! I always enjoy the LMS Holiday Gift Guide!
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