Little Merry Sunshine's Holiday Gift Guide

It's that time of year again! Yes, it's that time when I provide you with my fully endorsed Holiday Gift Guide. Gifts perfect for everyone on your shopping list from stuffy Aunt Hilda to the love of your life to your boss. Well, maybe not your boss. At least not if you want to keep your job. We're sure you'll agree this blows away the Neiman Marcus Christmas Book, the Vogue Holiday Gift Guide and Oprah's Favorite Things.

Please note: none of these gifts are suitable for me. Your shopping guide for me will be forthcoming.

Forever Lazy

My favorite part of the commercial below is how it encourages you to "party it up with friends" while wearing this zip-up Snuggie. Available in Hanky Pinky Fuschia, Workday Blues, and Asleep on the Job Gray. One thing is for sure, this gift is only suitable for those living a life of celibacy or desiring that life because I'm certain you're not getting laid again if another human sees you wearing it. Unless, of course, your significant other has a Smurf fetish. In that case, this would be the ideal gift in the Workday Blues color. The day I see someone wearing it at Jewel in Lake Forest, I'll keep an eye out for the Four Horsemen.

Tiddy Bear

Because nothing says "sophisticated independent woman" while driving through the North Shore than having a stuffed bear nuzzled between your breasts to make your seatbelt more comfortable. If you act now, you can buy one and get one for free. Two gifts, one stone. Hurray!

Better Marriage Blanket

I have to tell you that the Better Marriage Blanket does not solve the problem I thought it did. I mean, who knew sleep-farting was the number one marriage problem?

Do you know a couple whose marriage is being ruined by farting in bed? If you do (or if you're the non-gassy half of one of these couples), I recommend the Better Marriage Blanket. If I understand this product correctly, it captures all flatulence inside the blanket, cleans the air by releasing butterflies and lilies into the air, and keeps peace and harmony in your their marriage. And as the commercial says, it makes a great wedding or anniversary gift! I just don't know if Hallmark makes a card to go with that.

Pocket Therapist

With health care costs rising and mental health benefits at a minimum, the Pocket Therapist makes the perfect gift for your neurotic "friend" in denial. Similar to a Magic 8 Ball, the Pocket Therapist provides sage, medically sound advice "25 random diagnoses" for what might be wrong with your "friend".

Buzz Lightyear Funtime Tumbler

I'm not sure where to find this item, but I don't recommend it for kids.

Periodic Table of Swearing

This is the gift for your geeky friend who has everything and swears like a sailor. I've been known to toss around a few curse words, but I learned some new ones from the Periodic Table of Swearing. It's a coffee table and an educational aid and 100% completely unsuitable for kids.

WARNING: This video is NOT SUITABLE FOR WORK. Trust me.

Again, I don't know where to tell you to shop for the Periodic Table of Swearing, but it's sure to be a hit this Christmas.

Celeb for a Day

Do you have friends who are obsessed with the gossip rags? Who can't get enough of E!? They look at the celeb lifestyle with envy? Let them be a Celeb for a Day. Create their experience in LA, San Francisco, or NY. Of course, being a Celeb for a Day wouldn't be complete without your own personal paparazzi, so that when you get out of a limo showing a little too much, you'll have a souvenir for your grandkids.

Little Merry Sunshine 3rd Annual Holiday Gift Guide

As in previous years, Little Merry Sunshine is pleased to present our annual Gift Giving Guide (click here and here for previous gift guides).

Instant Underpants
While I can see some usefulness in this product if you're in need of a quick change or if you happened to accidentally walk out of the house commando, I never want to put on a pair of wet undies. Once you soak them in water, how long does it take them to dry? I love the website's motto: "It's better to have damp underpants than no underpants at all!" Um, okay, sure.*
*Oddly enough, I could have used these on Saturday night when I took that big spill in the puddle.

Terry the Swearing Turtle
This is probably not the talking toy you want to give your kids, but it's sure to provide hours of hilarious fun for all. With 25 shocking outbursts, Terry is probably also educational. h/t to my cousin-in-law David.
Here's a video demo of Terry's foul mouth. As always, if you read LMS via email, click here to visit the site and watch the video, which is really NSFW or anyone with sensitive ears. Trust me.


Playmobil Security Checkpoint
Do you think that today's generation of kids will grow up playing TSA Agent, rather than Doctor? If you give your kids this cool Playmobil Security Checkpoint toy, they're sure to imitate their favorite TSA agent in no time! Disposable rubber gloves for the enhanced pat downs don't seem to be included.
Mr. Bacon vs Monsieur Tofu Bendie Action Figure Set
My bacon loving friends will tell you that Bacon wins hands down every time, but my vegetarian friends insist that Tofu's got it going on. With the Mr. Bacon vs. Monsieur Tofu Bendie Action Figure Set, you get to decide and it can be different every time!
Squirrel Feet Earrings & Necklace
Diamonds may be a girl's best friend, but "real recycled taxidermy" squirrel feet unquestionably tell her how you really feel. There will be no question of your feelings when she eagerly and carefully unwraps the small, beautifully wrapped box on Christmas morning containing these gems. Tears will surely be involved. Plus, with Squirrel Feel Jewelry, you don't have to worry that you mistakenly bought blood diamonds. I'd like to say that no squirrels were hurt in the making of this jewelry, but I don't see the PETA seal of approval anywhere.

The Manslator
Men, do you ever wonder what your woman really means when she tells you something? You want to believe that she can be taken at face value, but sometimes you have this gut feeling there's a hidden message, right? Thanks to the Manslator*, you no longer have to wonder. No, I don't know if there's an iPhone app for this. Sorry.

*I'm including this important gift for a two reasons (in no particular order): (1) I've heard that many men failed their "woman to English" translation class in high school (not that I've ever met any) and (2) it can also be used for women to translate what men are really saying (not that it's all that complicated). Don't hate me by saying this gift is sexist. I didn't create it. I'm just letting you know it exists.

Little Merry Sunshine's 2nd Annual Holiday Gift Guide

It's once again that time of the year when the elves here at Little Merry Sunshine have been busily scurrying to find just the perfect gifts for you to give your loved ones this holiday season.

Once again this year, our goal is to bring you one-of-a-kind top-quality gifts that will send just the right message and that will always be remembered. We've spared no expense because we know you only expect the best.

A word to the wise, with Oprah retiring, she's canceled her infamous Favorite Things episode* and her influence waning, the LMS stamp of approval is highly sought after and means more and more each minute. These items are sure to fly off the shelves this Black Friday, so you'll want to arrive early. We'd get in line now.

Without further ado, we bring you Little Merry Sunshine's 2nd Annual Holiday Gift Guide. And for a bit of nostalgia, here's the 1st Annual Holiday Gift Guide.

Handerpants - The Underpants for Your Hands
You haven't heard of these delightful accessories? I know you're about to wonder how you ever lived without them. $11.95 plus shipping.



Of course, you'll have to have the Undercap to keep your ears warm while wearing your Handerpants. At only $11.95, these tighty whities will surely keep you warm all winter long.

Krazy Rat
This will entertain (or scare) your friends and freak out the kids and pets. Plus, it recharges quickly for endless fun! $34.95 with free shipping.


For the animal lover in your life, give them Buck the Singing Deerhead! $29.95.


Has the woman in your life been hinting around for a diamond ring? Show her how much you love her with the Diamond Ring Keychain! I promise she'll think of you everyday.
The Diamond Ring Keychain is only $3.49, so you'll have plenty of money to spring for the Elephant Poo Roses ($15-$48).
Every girl wants a doll for Christmas, so this year, you should surprise your special girl with the Pole Dancer Doll!

For those of you unaffected by the recession, Little Merry Sunshine recommends these gifts . . .

Do you know someone who can never find their car in the mall parking lot because every car looks the same? Get them a Cupcake Car and they'll never lose their car again! At just $25,000, this car is very competitively priced. I'm not sure if the sprinkles or peppermint safety helmets are extra.
Does your little princess fight going to bed? With the Princess Palace Playhouse Bed she'll be eager for an earlier bedtime. Isn't $47,000 a small price to pay for peaceful bedtimes?
Every little boy fantasizes about being a pirate, so Santa should make that fantasy come true with Red Beard's Revenge Pirate Ship Playhouse! Unfortunately, $52,000 doesn't make this playhouse sea-worthy, but your child will surely be the most popular kid in the neighborhood and popularity is priceless.

*We can't help but wonder if Oprah is conceding that Little Merry Sunshine is now more popular and influential than the Queen of All Media? It's possible that's why Oprah has given up the Favorite Things episode and is retiring. It's highly improbable, but it's possible. If only in my head, it's possible.

1st Annual Little Merry Sunshine Holiday Gift Guide aka Little Merry Sunshine's Favorite Things

Here at Little Merry Sunshine, we are completely in the Holiday Spirit and are overrun with little elves named Betsey and Ross scampering around to put the finishing touches on all of our Christmas gifts.

But I know that many of you do not have the vast staff I have and have not even started your holiday shopping, even though you've only got 2 days left until Christmas. As my gift to you, I have compiled a list of my Favorite Things a la Oprah's Favorite Things perfect for all your gift giving needs (unless you're shopping for me, in which case you should refer to this list).

Without further ado, Little Merry Sunshine's Holiday Gift Guide . . .

Do you know women or men insecure about the hair down there? Do you get sick and tired with your hook-ups commenting "Huh, I thought you were a natural blonde?" With Betty Beauty, you will be the only one to know you're not truly a natural blonde! Or you can surprise your one-night stand with one of the many on-trend colors including hot pink and blue! And what says you're feeling holiday festive more than a red and green Betty? Over 150,000 satisfied clients!

Is your Dad a golf fanatic? Do you find yourself a golf widow wishing her man or woman was at home rather than pissing away another Saturday on the course? Have you found that with the recession, the golfer you love can no longer afford to play golf every weekend? Give the golfer in your life the Potty Putter for hours of fun!

This year, like no other before it, eco-friendly gifts are all the rage. No one wants to increase their carbon footprint, yet we all want to give personalized, one-of-a-kind gifts. Luckily, the Miller Park Zoo in Bloomington, Illinois has come to our rescue with their Reindeer Dung Christmas Ornaments!

Are you tired of your bananas getting crushed in your briefcase? With the Banana Bunker that problem is solved forever!

For the multitasking guy in your life, you'll want to give him the Weener Kleener! One size fits most.

If you're the kind of person who likes their gifts to live into eternity, I'd recommend naming a newly discovered bat species after your loved one. Nothing quite says "I love you" like naming a flying rodent after someone.

Help build your partner's ego with the new Condometric - The Measuring Tape Condom!

Finally, no list of favorite gifts would be complete without a gift from the Queen of Favorite Things herself - Oprah Winfrey. Therefore, Little Merry Sunshine is pleased to suggest the Oprah Snow Globe.

I'm certain that any of these gifts would be greatly appreciated (but not by me). Merry Christmas & Happy Shopping!

Gift Buying Guide for Little Merry Sunshine

Are you like much of the rest of the world population and struggling with what to get me for Christmas? Fret not. You are not alone.

Probably the most popular question I get from my fans this time of year is "Little Merry Sunshine, you are so beautiful and talented that I am compelled to shower you with Christmas gifts. What can I get a woman like you that is personal and shows how much I think of you?"

This is a GREAT question and I appreciate it more than you know. So with that in mind, I present the Gift Buying Guide for Little Merry Sunshine. Of course, I'll be presenting my Gift Guide for all of your other gift recipients in the near future.

1. Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns Goodwin



2. Change We Can Believe In: Barack Obama's Plan to Renew America's Promise by Barack Obama


3. The West Wing Complete Series Box Set

4. Make a donation to Lake Forest College in my honor. Call Mark Mollenhauer or Derek Lambert at LFC for how to make a donation in my honor. Not only can you give me a gift that makes me happy, but you'll get a tax deduction too!

5. Gift certificate for a massage from Northwest Massage Therapy.

6. Mani/pedi gift certificate.

7. Pretty personalized stationary, using my real name, not Little Merry Sunshine.

8. Warm & Fuzzy Slippers.

9. The Beauty Blender Starter Kit plus the travel-size Cleanser.

10. Lavender Linen Mist.

11. Bottles of wine or champagne are always welcome gifts.

Last year, I wrote a post about gifts in the $15-20 range that you might also look to for ideas.

Good luck!