I freely admit I stole this from my college friend Steve over on Facebook. I don't know if he personally wrote it or if he got it somewhere else, but it doesn't matter. It's hysterical because it's true.
The Windy City Temperature Conversion Chart
60° F: Arizonians shiver uncontrollably; people in Chicago are still sunbathing. Especially today, when we may shattering a 133-year old record!
50° F: Californians try to turn on the heat; people in Chicago plant gardens.
40° F: Italian sports cars won't start; people in Chicago drive with the windows down.
32° F: Distilled water freezes; Lake Michigan water gets thicker.
20° F: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and wool hats; people in Chicago throw on a light jacket.
15° F: People in Chicago have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0° F: All the people in Phoenix die. Chicagoans close the windows.
10° below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico . The Girl Scouts in Chicago are selling cookies door to door.
25° below zero: Hollywood disintegrates; people in Chicago get out their winter coats.
40° below zero: Washington, D.C. runs out of hot air; people in Chicago let the dogs sleep indoors.
100° below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole; Chicagoans get frustrated because they can't start "da car."
460° below zero: All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale); people in Chicago start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
500° below zero: Hell freezes over; the Cubs win the World Series