Sunday, January 31, 2010
Ross Has "Self-Esteem" Issues?
My LFC friend Allison posted a link to the company Neuticles over on Facebook this morning. Her comment was "Ok, this is so funny. Who would ever spend the time or money for that matter?"
As I read about Neuticles testicular implants, I kept thinking about a conversation my cat Ross and I might have . . .
"Uh, Mom, can we talk?"
"Yes, Ross, what is it?"
"Well, um, it's kind of embarrassing."
"It's okay. You can tell me anything."
"Have you noticed how Betsey is all surly towards me and spent all night last night hissing at me?"
"How could I not notice? She kept me awake all night too."
"She doesn't want to snuggle with me anymore."
"Oh, don't pay any attention to her. She just likes to have space sometimes. She'll be back tonight."
"I think she's being mean and rejecting me because I'm not manly."
"You neutered me and I'm not a man anymore. You destroyed my self-esteem! The ladies don't like me because I don't have testicles."
Spitting Diet Coke across the room: "What?? What did you just say?"
"But if I could get Neuticles testicular implants, my self-esteem would be better and all those hot lady cats would be swarming around to get a piece of ME!"
"Uh, Ross, trust me, your self-esteem is fine."
Oh. My. God. Seriously? Neuticles wants me to believe my cat has self-esteem issues? Fortunately, the conversation above did not actually happen (like I had to say that), but what are the good folks over at Neuticles thinking? "Neuticles allows your pet to retain his natural look, self esteem and aids in the trauma associated with neutering." REALLY? Give me a break. My cat's self-esteem doesn't have anything to do with whether or not he's got testicles. If he's got self-esteem at all, it comes from the fact that he's loved and doted on. And I assure Neuticles that my cat does not sit around all day contemplating his lack of manhood.