Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I'm Cracking the Whip!

Photo of Betty Page from Photobucket.com

Want to hang out in a lesbian, bondage, strip club tonight? Okay. Have fun. Enjoy yourself. Yes, really.

Now, it's not that I think strip clubs are fantastic. I don't. I tend to believe they are degrading to women and don't really believe the argument that no one forces the women to work there. But that's really a discussion for another day.

This blog post is about the brand-spanking new GOP sex scandal. Yes, of course, the pun is entirely intended.

Seriously, if you want to visit a strip club, that's really fine by me. Enjoy. Really. It's not really my thing and you won't find me there on a Friday night, but if you want to go, I'm not going to judge you for it.

Unless you spend your time telling me how anything outside of sex for pro-creative purposes in the missionary position and strictly within the confines of a heterosexual marriage will send me to Hell.

Then I'm going to call you a hypocrite. Why? Because that's what you are.

If you run around the country, television cable channels, and/or the internet preaching homosexuality to be an abomination, that gay marriage destroys heterosexual marriage, and that sex outside of marriage is a sin and that women should not have the right to control their bodies and make their own reproductive choices, all while you secretly frequent lesbian, bondage strip clubs, claim to be hiking the Appalachian Trail while really in Argentina with your true love (who is not your wife), cruise for gay sex in airport bathrooms, sleep with your Senate staff member's wife, frequent high-class call girls, sexually abuse children in the name of God and then spend years denying and covering it up, attempt to solicit sex from House pages, and/or your teenage unwed teenage daughter gets pregnant by her teenage boyfriend in spite of your support of abstinence-only education, I just have one thing to say to you:

Shut up.

None of us live perfect lives, but to be running around screaming your morality and superiority from the rooftops, morality you don't even live, is the absolute height of hypocrisy and frankly, makes me more than a little ill.

Seriously, just shut up. Go live your life and let other people live theirs.

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