I feel overwhelmed. I don't know if it's the snow I woke up to this morning that just feels like the last straw (I do get that it's winter in Chicago, but this winter just feels longer and snowier than usual). I don't know whether it's the economy. I don't know if I've spread myself too thin. I don't know if I've lost my focus. I don't know if I'm just bad at time management (something I've always prided myself on). All I know is that I feel like I'm being pulled in a million different directions and achieving nothing in the process. I'm not sleeping well. Some days I have an appetite and others I don't (not that it's stopped me from eating).
Sure, in certain moments, the feeling of overwhelm disappears, but it keeps returning. I feel like I've spent the last month pleasing no one, including myself. I feel like I haven't been a very good boss to myself, friend, daughter, sister, or volunteer lately. It's partly why I haven't blogged much in the last month. I haven't known what to say or how to say it even if I did know.
I've tried the things that usually work to de-stress me and help me overcome the feeling of overwhelm . . . hypnosis and meditation, long bubble baths, a massage, a glass or two of wine, cleaning, snuggling with Betsey & Ross (I dare anyone to argue a purring cat is not soothing), exercise . . . and am not sure how to lose this feeling.
I don't mean to whine about this. Really, I don't. I'm only writing about this today in hopes that by throwing it out to the universe, a solution will come to me.
Update 2:56pm: In the midst of writing this post, I happened to jump over to one of my new favorite blogs (can we say ADD?), Kittens Farting Rainbows (seriously, doesn't that title make you giggle?) and read a post called "100% Better 60% of the Time." As I read it, I kept thinking to myself, "yep, that's how I'm feeling." But then Bergsie ends her post with the things she knows and that got me to thinking that maybe I should write about the things I know for sure (not to sound to Oprah-ish). Maybe that will make me feel better. Look for that as my next post. See, maybe the universe does give me the answers I need when I reach out.