Wednesday, July 21, 2010

They Might As Well Make It Illegal To Be A Teen-Age Girl

Kristen Wiig's Aunt Linda character on Saturday Night Live who turns eye rolling into an art form.

You may not have heard, but Elmhust, Illinois is trying to outlaw eye rolling by declaring it "disorderly conduct."

This all stems from a discussion at a June 14th public finance and public affairs committee meeting where aldermen were discussing whether Elmhurst should hire a state lobbyist. Darlene Heslop, who attended the meeting and is opposed to hiring the lobbyist, allegedly rolled her eyes and sighed, which resulted in her being asked to leave the meeting.

The town of Elmhurst then directed its city attorney Don Storino to research the legal definition of "disorderly conduct and disruptive behavior" because Elmhurst is considering creating such a violation that would include eye rolling. According to Trib Local, "under state law, disorderly conduct is 'an act in such unreasonable manner as to alarm or disturb another, or to provoke a breach of the peace.'”

I can only imagine what kind of peace was breached with the eye rolling and which member of the committee is so sensitive that he or she was alarmed or disturbed. I'd like to live in that world where the biggest problem is eye rolling.

I know, you just rolled your eyes at the sheer stupidity of this waste of taxpayer dollars, but don't let anyone in Elmhurst catch you.

Frankly, if this had been the law in Arlington Heights during the 1980s, I may not have survived my teen years.

Parents all over Elmhurst have their fingers crossed in hopes that soon they'll be able to say to their teen daughters, "Don't roll your eyes at me, Missy! That's illegal in this town and I'll have
Sheriff Andy Taylor over here to throw your butt in jail in two shakes of a stick! Now clean your room!"

1 comment:

  1. Good heavens! I guess that would make me a repeat offender. If those idiots make eye rolling a crime, then they should be forced to wear large, orange wigs and big, floppy shoes.


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