I woke up this morning to some very disturbing news. News that rocked me to my very core. News that was so disturbing I felt the immediate need to write you about it.
The news that has me so off my game today is that you spent $150,000 on clothes, accessories and make-up since the end of August for you and your family. Okay, maybe it was not actually "you", but the RNC trying to put lipstick on a pig. Oh, did I say that outloud?
You've been running all over the country first telling us all that you're just a regular "Hockey Mom." Then you morphed into "Joe Six Pack" to make us all feel you were just one of us. Now, you're "Joe the Plumber"' a hard-working, regular American with patriotic, family values.
On its face, there's nothing wrong with you wanting to be a regular American. Regular Americans work hard, love their kids, volunteer in the PTA, attend block parties with casseroles to share, bargain shop, vote, pray to their God (or not), support their favorite teams, dream for a better life and have opinions. There's one other thing that "regular Americans" do: these days they go to bed worrying if they can pay their bills tomorrow, scared that their job will be cut, worried they'll lose their home, fearful about how their retired elderly parents will survive, and terrified that their lifetime of savings will be lost in the current economic crisis.
But there's one thing "regular Americans" DO NOT do: we don't spend $150,000 on clothes and make-up in 8 weeks. Really. We don't. We don't have that kind of money. For many, $150,000 is their entire life savings. For others, it's more than their life savings. We don't spend $75,000+ at Neiman Marcus. Most of us don't make that much in a year, much less in a month.
And we're not fooled that someone who does. We know which candidate is the elitist and it's not the one who just recently paid off his student loans.
Quit telling me you're just like me. You're not. You have no idea what I (and all the other "real Americans") deal with on a daily basis. And when you try to tell me you're just like me, it's condescending.
Thankfully, in 14 days, you'll go back to Alaska and become nothing more than a footnote in history. And I won't have to think about you anymore.
Little Merry Sunshine
P.S. Don't forget to report that gift of $150K worth of clothes as taxable income. You don't want to end up like that guy from Survivor, do you?