I Didn't Get The Job

You may have heard by now, but I didn't get the job of Island Caretaker of Hamilton Island on the Great Barrier Reef in Australia.

Yes, I'm disappointed, but I feel most badly for American Girl and FranIAm who won't be able to visit me with their families. American Girl, as you'll recall, was ready to uproot her life to come work for me as my official cocktail server on the island.

It's all probably worked out for the best. It turns out that I'd have to clean the pool. Who has time to do that?

I've Gotten A New Job and I'm Moving

Now I know that many of you will read that line and just assume that I've gotten a position with the Obama Administration and am moving back to DC. Well, let me tell you . . . NOTHING could be further from the truth. Sure, it would have been nice if President-elect Obama had found my resume and realzied how his administration simply could not function without me in a very high-powered position with top security clearance, but that didn't happen.

Luckily, whenever God closes a door, he usually opens a bigger one. And in this case, my disappointment at being overlooked by the Obama Administration will be soothed by my new position.

I am going to be the Island Caretaker of Hamilton Island on the Great Barrier Reef in Australia! (more info on Hamilton Island)

Now I know that sounds like some cushy job where I'd sit on the beach all day drinking mai tai's. I assure you, it will be grueling, however.

Just look at this job description:

• stroll the white sands,
• snorkel the reef,
• take care of "a few minor tasks" and
  
• and report to a global audience via weekly blogs, photo diaries and video updates.
• "They'll also have to talk to media from time to time about what they're doing so they can't be too shy and they'll have to love the sea, the sun, the outdoors," said acting state Premier Paul Lucas.

The accomodations are also not quite ideal. I mean, do they really think I can survive "rent-free in a three-bedroom beach home complete with plunge pool and golf buggy"?

All this for a measly $105,000 US salary.

Now the article on Yahoo says that they're accepting applications until February 22 and then they'll choose their final 11 candidates. Let's be clear: that's BS. I've already accepted the position, so your applications don't mean squat. Don't worry, I'll send you a postcard and you can always read my blog.