Fundraising 101

I'm not going to pretend I am an expert in fundraising, although I have done some of it professionally for a political campaign and have also done some fundraising using my own business, but I do know that there are certain things you never do when trying to raise funds for your charity or political candidate. Probably the most important thing you should never do when asking someone to part with their money is to get into a pissing contest with them. For certain, you should never get into a pissing contest with me.

Here is an almost verbatim transcript of a fundraising call I received this evening:

Me: Hello?
Caller (with "private" showing up on the caller ID): Hello, Mrs. Gardner?
Me: Um, no. May I take a message.
Caller: Yes, please tell Mrs. Gardner that Robert Smith called.
Me: Okay, Mr. Smith, can I tell her what company you're with?
RS: Insight, we're a telecommunications company.
Me (thinking this call is about to end): Thank you Mr. Smith. We're on the Do Not Call Registry. Are you aware of that?
RS: I'm not trying to sell you anything. I'm calling to raise money for the Sick Kids Leukemia Fund.
Me (again, thinking this call is about to end): While I'm sure that's a worthy cause Mr. Smith, we only give money to St. Jude's Children's Research Center.
RS: Well, that's selfish! You're only giving to 1 hospital. Do you know how many kids have Leukemia? By giving to us, you're helping ALL the children. Not just the lucky ones who go to St. Jude.
Me: Mr. Smith, I appreciate your concern for the kids, but St. Jude is my choice because my cousin is the child in the silhouette logo for St. Jude's. So that's where my money goes. Thank you for calling.
RS: I don't think so. MY nephew was the ORIGINAL poster child for St. Jude's in the 70s and 80s. Where is your cousin now?
Me: Dead. And I don't think that trying to get into a pissing match with me is any way to get me to donate to your cause.
RS: I'm not trying to get into a pissing match with you. But your cousin is NOT that child in the St. Jude's logo.
Me: Mr. Smith, I was trying to be nice to you. But I never give money to anyone who just calls me out of the blue and asks for it. For all I know, you're a fraud. Take me off your GD calling list.
Click.

So what did Mr. Smith do wrong?

1. He lied to me by saying he was with a "telecommunications" company rather than telling me upfront he was
2. He insulted me by calling me "selfish" for giving money to one of the most respected children's research hospitals in the world, rather than to his unknown charity.
3. Finally, he got into a pissing contest with me over who had the most sympathetic personal relationship to St. Jude's.

Robert Lavender, 1970 - 1983

Today would be my cousin Robert Lavender's 38th birthday. I say "would be" because Robert died when he was 13. He was the first person I knew who died or at least he's the first person who died who's death resonated with me.

When Robert was 18 months old, he was diagnosed with Leukemia. Although his family lived in Roanoke, Virginia, his parents drove all night after the diagnosis to take him to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital in Memphis, Tennessee. At the time of his diagnosis in 1971, children didn't survive Leukemia for very long. In fact, his diagnosis wasn't good and the family was told he wouldn't live more than a couple of years.

St. Jude's was chosen as the place Robert would receive his treatments for a few reasons. First, it was the leading hospital in the country for children. Second, and probably most important, Robert's family lived in Roanoke, Virginia with no other family around. Our Great Aunt Mazie lived in Memphis and the entire maternal side of the family lived 60 miles south of Memphis in Batesville, Mississippi, and they would provide invaluable support over the years.

Over the course of his short life, Robert touched many people and was truly a miracle. He had one of the first bone marrow transplants in children. I remember him going in and out of remission over the years, but he never complained. He was one of the happiest people I knew. Despite his illness and inability to really go to school like other kids, Robert was a Boy Scout, which was one of the things his mom was so proud of.

Robert became so beloved at St. Jude that one year the St. Jude Christmas card featured his silhouette. Today, that silhouette is the St. Jude logo seen around the world.

When he died in 1983, many celebrities, including St. Jude Founder and Actor Danny Thomas attended his funeral.

You've probably heard of St. Jude's through their many fundraisers and television infomercials. One of the things I love about St. Jude's and that makes it truly unique is that they have never turned away any children because of the family's inability to pay. Every child accepted as a patient is treated and loved. Because of that and what they did for my family, St. Jude Children's Research Hospital is one of my favorite charities

Surviving until he was 13 was truly a miracle for my cousin Robert. And today, on his birthday, I can't help but think of the lives he continues to touch because of the medical breakthroughs achieved during his treatments at St. Jude.