I Went Shopping Today!

Okay, that's sort of not exactly true, but then it is true. Just stick with me for a couple of minutes. I'll have a point.

About a week ago, my boss told me that she'd like me to wear black or white capris or shorts with our company t-shirt in a parade we're going to be in on Wednesday. Now, I have no fewer than a gazillion khaki shorts and capris and I even have dressy pair of black capris, but I have no casual black or white capris or shorts and khaki would not work with the gray t-shirt I'm wearing, nor would everyone look the same, which was the goal of the black or white.

Frankly, I didn't want to go shopping and spend money. As I've mentioned previously, I'm trying to buy a condo so every single penny counts and I'm also 12 days from going to Watervale, another good reason to not spend money. Oh, and I hate shopping. HATE. Shopping to me is usually entirely ego deflating, even as my body has shrunk into new sizes. All week long I've agonized over this whole black or white capri or shorts requirement. How could I get around it?

Finally, this morning it hit me: what about all the clothes I'd collected for our upcoming garage sale? Did I still have them and would they fit? With any luck there might be some parade-appropriate capris or shorts in there and I'd be able to find them. When I originally packed them up, I was certain they'd never fit me again.

I pulled out the boxes of stuff marked for the garage sale and started sifting. Within seconds, I discovered two pairs black capris I last wore in 2002, a dress I hadn't worn in at least that long, a great pair of workout pants, 3 pairs of shorts (khaki, navy blue and red that may actually go back to the late 1990s), two awesome button-down shirts, numerous t-shirts, and 4 or 5 pairs of khaki capris (because you know if owning a trillion khaki pairs of capris could be turned into $1 trillion, I could personally solve the debt crisis), a cute sweater, a pair of jeans, and even a bathing suit!

Into my bedroom I went with all my finds. And item after item, almost all of the clothes I pulled out of the garage sale boxes fit. Some better than others, but I could get almost each item button or zipped without having to lay down and suck anything in. I did reject a few items that fit. My body does not need pleated pants or shorts. They just don't look remotely flattering. But the timeless, classic pieces, I held onto, and will happily fit them back into my wardrobe.

I'm not exactly sure how much I saved, but to be sure, I've saved money, and more than that, I got a nice ego boost realizing I'm wearing clothes I last wore almost a decade ago because I've lost so much weight. Win!

I'm Gonna Install A Stripper Pole!

My dad will be so proud. His daughter, the pole dancer!

But if CNN says I can lose 50 pounds by pole dancing, I might just do it!

Pole dancing helps strip off pounds

By Judy Fortin CNN Medical Correspondent

August 11, 2008

ATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) -- The lights were turned down low and the music was pulsing as Kimberly Wright made her way toward a 16-foot tall dance pole to do some tricks.

Wright is not an exotic dancer in a strip club. She's a 38-year-old mother of two from Atlanta, Georgia, looking to get in a decent workout.

"It works the abs, oh my goodness, muscles I didn't even know I had," Wright chuckled.
On this night, Wright is among more than a dozen women of all shapes and sizes -- no men allowed -- attending a beginner class at PoleLaTeaz, an Atlanta dance studio owned by Angela Edwards.

"We get preachers' wives, teachers, nurses, accountants, lawyers, anyone between the age of 18 and 70," Edwards said. "It's not boring...you get to wear fun clothes, listen to good music...and release your inner sexpot."

If online listings across the country are an indication, the popularity of pole dancing is spreading across the country from Southern California to Chicago to the Bible Belt.

A former labor and delivery nurse, Edwards opened her own studio two years ago and now has 400 students. She plans to add another location in the fall.

Edwards demonstrated a few moves during an advanced class later in the evening.

She climbed to the top a pole and, clenching her inner thighs, hung upside down. Watch Edwards demonstrate pole dancing

"The dancing part is where you get the cardiovascular benefits," she said. Then there's "pole-tricking," or doing specific movements balancing your body weight against the pole, such as the "fireman spin."

"That's where you get the weight lifting and weight training," Edwards said.

She mentioned that there is a risk of injury so regardless of their experience, all students start the class with a half-hour warmup using Pilates-like stretches.

Thick mats are placed near the poles as students practice new "tricks," and Edwards encouraged dancers to modify their moves depending on their abilities.

"You see good results," Edwards said. "We have women who come in here 40 to 50 pounds overweight and they drop it in about six to eight months and they get great, nice, hourglass curves."

Cicely Rogers is one of those women who have seen results. "I started last August and I've gone down two dress sizes. I've lost 20 pounds and I feel awesome," she said.

The critical care nurse at an Atlanta hospital admitted that she hurt all over after the first few sessions of pole dancing.

There's another benefit, Rogers said. "This made me feel better about my body. I used to be nervous about my body and try to hide it. Now I'm a lot more open and confident. I stand up straight and feel good about myself."

Rogers is one of the few women wearing shorts and a tank top. Many other students are scantily dressed in lingerie-like outfits.

Almost everyone strapped on stilettos when the dancing got under way. Some of the women said it added to the atmosphere of the class.

"It makes you feel sensual. It makes you feel sexy," said Antigone Locklear, 42, of Atlanta.
Wright said feeling sexy is part of the reason she attended class. Now she's waiting for her husband to install her own dance pole at home.

She smiled. "You know what? I am sexy and yes, pole dancing does put you in the mood."

Slutty Barbie

When I was growing up, I wasn't allowed to have Barbie dolls. All my girlfriends had them, but no Barbie doll ever crossed the threshold of my house. My mom's reasoning was that Barbie promoted an unhealthy body image and she didn't want me to grow up with an unhealthy body image.

If only life were that simple and avoiding Barbie all those years would have saved me from hating my thighs and believing I was fat in junior high and high school when I was anything but.

But I digress.

Mattel is releasing a new Barbie doll next month called "Black Canary Barbie." I guess she's based on a DC Comic superhero of the same name, but she looks pretty dominatrix-like (NSFW - Mom, do NOT click that) to me.

What do you think? And what will today's Barbie teach the tweens of the 21st Century about their bodies and sexuality?

Black Canary Barbie aka "Sultry Barbie" aka "Slutty Barbie"

And "regular" Barbie.