Happy Birthday President Obama!
I wasn't sure who to have sing to you for your big day. So I asked Beyonce, since she did such a fine job at the Inaugural Ball, and Marilyn Monroe, since she's got experience singing to the President.
I know it's a little tacky to ask you to give me a gift on your birthday, but I'm going to do it anyway. I did get two sexy starlets to sing to you afterall. Anyway, I'd really like it if you could get me healthcare for all Americans for your birthday. Thank you!