Dude, Do You Need A Job?

Have you been having a difficult time finding a job because of your pot smoking? Do you have Glaucoma and need a hook-up for medicinal marijuana? AND are you a talented writer?

Westword, the Denver News Blog has the job for you. They are looking for someone to review medical marijuana clinics for their new blog "Mile Highs & Lows."

According to the job description,

The job is simple: Visit a different dispensary each week (without revealing you're working for Westword) and pen concise, impartial and snappy accounts of your experiences. Keep in mind this isn't about assessing the quality of the medicine on site; it's about evaluating the quality of the establishment. After all, we can't have our reviewer be stoned all the time.

The perfect candidate will be a talented writer who's not about to play favorites -- and, of course, someone who has a state medical marijuana ID (or the ability and need to obtain one). Compensation will be meager -- and no, we can't expense your purchases, although that would be pretty cool.

They'll accept informal resumes, but not ones written on rolling papers. Sorry. Oh, and they'd like a one paragraph essay on "What marijuana means to me."

I'm guessing that in this job market there will be kilos of applicants, so you'd better get rolling.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go find some snacks. I've got the munchies.

DISCLAIMER: LMS does not endorse pot smoking or the use of any illegal drugs. In fact, LMS is proud of the fact that we have never smoked pot or taken any illegal drugs. We took Nancy Reagan's advice to "just say no," preferring to just remain high on life.

Dear President Obama

Dear Mr. President,

Early Friday morning, I received a text message from my dad confirming the news I'd been expecting since Thanksgiving: He had lost his job because his company went out of business.

His company had previously been one of the largest retail bedroom furniture companies in the entire state of Indiana. And now they are out of business.

My dad had long seen the writing on the wall. Last summer, he told me about how their business had been adversely affected because the Chinese government, in preparation for the Olympics, stopped all furniture shipments leaving China. As you probably know, over the last decade, almost all U.S. furniture production has ceased to exist because it was simply unable to compete with the cost of furniture made in China. Consequently because of the Olympics, my dad's company (and I'm sure many others) were held hostage by the Chinese government last summer.

With no time to recover from that, the economy collapsed in September. You know exactly how deeply Indiana has felt the impact. You've visited the state multiple times yourself and seen the devastation to people's lives first hand.

Yes, my dad stayed with his company until the end. He's been an employee there for 12 years. What other choice did he have? I know he's been looking for a new job for months, in hopes that he'd avoid being unemployed, but so far he's found nothing.

My dad is a college graduate and has worked hard his entire career, all of it spent in the retail industry. He's loyal, patient, great with customers, knowledgeable and has always been one of the top sales people at his various companies. He's been in management, but prefers not being the boss.

It's been great hearing you talk about expanded health care benefits for the unemployed, but I don't think your programs go far enough because they only benefit those eligible for COBRA. You see, my dad's not eligible for COBRA because his company went under. So now he's completely uninsured and that's a problem. My dad has epilepsy and asthma. I can't tell you the last time he had a seizure, but that's only because of the medicine he's taken daily for the last 40 years. How will he afford this medicine now? He's not eligible for Medicare yet because he's only 63 1/2.

In fact, because my dad is 63 1/2, who is going to hire him? Yes, we both know that equal employment laws prohibit discrimination based on age, but that's nearly impossible to prove. He looks pretty good for his age, but a cursory glance at his resume by anyone with rudimentary math skills and his age becomes obvious. In spite of it being illegal to do so, I worry that companies will realize his age and not hire him because they'll think he'll retire in a year or so and not around for the long haul.

Finally, the thing that upsets me the most about this horrible situation is that because his company no longer exists, he didn't get paid for his four weeks of paid vacation and he discovered yesterday that he wasn't getting paid for his final two weeks of work. That's 6 weeks of pay he's lost and no way to recover it.

I won't get into how big of a hit his retirement savings have taken in the last 6 months.

He's got no debt, except for his mortgage, which I'm certain he's up-to-date with. My dad's a frugal guy

Mr. President, what do I tell my dad? How do I help him? I wish your health care benefits through the stimulus package also helped people who aren't COBRA eligible. It's not my dad's fault he's not COBRA eligible. He's just a guy who's worked hard his entire adult life and through no fault of his own, finds himself completely unemployed 18 months before he's eligible for retirement.

I listened to your press conference last night, but didn't hear anything that gave me reassurance that anyone really yet "gets" the plight of Main Street and not just the loud whining from Wall Street. Please prove me wrong. Please do something to help my dad.

Thank you.

Little Merry Sunshine

No more free lunches

The story below made my blood boil this morning. (The comments almost made my head explode, I can't begin to address the ignorance of the commenters and I won't include their comments because you can follow the story link and read them for yourself.) I understand that school districts are facing financial difficulties. Property values are down, so property taxes are down. Because most school districts are financed through property taxes, they're not getting the same amount of tax dollars. Of course, when schools don't have enough money, they must make cuts and that often means the quality suffers. When school quality suffers, people don't want to move into a neighborhood, depressing property values even more. It's a horrible cycle.

I also understand that schools can't simply be in the business of giving everyone free lunches all the time without reimbursement from somewhere. Sure there is the National School Lunch Program, but to get your child qualified for free or reduced lunches is incredibly difficult. In my own school district, a family of 4 cannot have an income of more than $755 per week. That's for a family of 4. That's not much money, especially in the Chicago area. Even if you do meet the income requirement, there is an application process. And you may not get an instant answer.

Dave and I were on the free lunch program for a year or so in junior high. I remember being worried that everyone knew. Every month, I had to go to the principal's office and ask for a new free lunch card that I used in the cafeteria. I dreaded those trips. They were humiliating. I worried that other kids in the office for other reasons would hear me ask for my free lunch card. But at least I was never singled out with cheese sandwiches. I always got to eat what my friends were eating. I felt ashamed and stressed about the situation as it was, but being further singled out would have put me over the edge. I've never forgotten those difficult times in my life and part of me is still ashamed. Heck, I can feel my anxiety rise now as I worry about what my friends who don't know about this will think when they read my blog.

It's never the fault of a child that he or she doesn't have lunch money repeatedly. Sure, every kid forgets his or her lunch money once in awhile, but the article below isn't talking about those kids. It's talking about kids who don't have the money because their parents don't pay the bill. I may be going out on a limb here, but their parents aren't paying because they don't have the money either.

There must be a better solution to the problem of parents not paying the school lunch tab than cheese sandwiches and humiliating children. When I was a member of the Arlington Heights Junior Woman's Club, I chaired a garage sale fundraiser we did and got to choose the charitable recipient. I spoke to the local high school district and learned that they had a number of kids in each school who weren't quite "poor enough" to qualify for the free lunch program, but couldn't afford lunches or who throughout the year had other financial emergencies and needed a little help with the cost of books or going on a field trip. I successfully lobbied our club to give the money we raised (approximately $1600) to the school district to help these kids who would otherwise fall through the cracks.

I'd encourage school districts to reach out to area churches, Lions Clubs, Rotary, Women's Clubs, etc. for some help in this area. There is simply no reason for a child to be additionally punished for being poor. Isn't just knowing your parents don't have any money punishment enough?

No more free lunches: Schools get tough on deadbeats
Associated Press, Daily Herald, February 25, 2009

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. -- A cold cheese sandwich, fruit and a milk carton might not seem like much of a meal -- but that's what's on the menu for students in New Mexico's largest school district without their lunch money.

Faced with mounting unpaid lunch charges in the economic downturn, Albuquerque Public Schools last month instituted a "cheese sandwich policy," serving the alternative meals to children whose parents fail to pick up their lunch tab.

Such policies have become a necessity for schools seeking to keep budgets in the black while ensuring children don't go hungry. School districts including those in Chula Vista, Calif., Hillsborough County, Fla., and Lynnwood, Wash., have also taken to serving cheese sandwiches to lunch debtors.

Critics argue the cold meals are a form of punishment for children whose parents can't afford to pay.

"We've heard stories from moms coming in saying their child was pulled out of the lunch line and given a cheese sandwich," said Nancy Pope, director of the New Mexico Collaborative to End Hunger. "One woman said her daughter never wants to go back to school."

Some Albuquerque parents have tearfully pleaded with school board members to stop singling out their children because they're poor, while others have flooded talk radio shows thanking the district for imposing a policy that commands parental responsibility.

Second-grader Danessa Vigil said she will never eat sliced cheese again. She had to eat cheese sandwiches because her mother couldn't afford to give her lunch money while her application for free lunch was being processed.

"Every time I eat it, it makes me feel like I want to throw up," the 7-year-old said.

Her mother, Darlene Vigil, said there are days she can't spare lunch money for her two daughters.

"Some parents don't have even $1 sometimes," the 27-year-old single mother said. "If they do, it's for something else, like milk at home. There are some families that just don't have it and that's the reason they're not paying."

The School Nutrition Association recently surveyed nutrition directors from 38 states and found more than half of school districts have seen an increase in the number of students charging meals, while 79 percent saw an increase in the number of free lunches served over the last year.

In New Mexico, nearly 204,000 low-income students -- about three-fifths of public school students -- received free or reduced-price lunches at the beginning of the school year, according to the state Public Education Department.

"What you are seeing is families struggling and having a really hard time, and school districts are struggling as well," said Crystal FitzSimons of the national Food Research and Action Center.

In Albuquerque, unpaid lunch charges hovered around $55,000 in 2006. That jumped to $130,000 at the end of the 2007-08 school year. It was $140,000 through the first five months of this school year.

Charges were on pace to reach $300,000 by the end of the year. Mary Swift, director of Albuquerque's food and nutrition services, said her department had no way to absorb that debt as it had in the past.

"We can't use any federal lunch program money to pay what they call bad debt. It has to come out of the general budget and of course that takes it from some other department," Swift said.

With the new policy, the school district has collected just over $50,000 from parents since the beginning of the year. It also identified 2,000 students eligible to receive free or reduced-price lunches, and more children in the lunch program means more federal dollars for the district.

School officials said the policy was under consideration for some time and parents were notified last fall. Families with unpaid charges are reminded with an automated phone call each night and notes are sent home with children once a week.

Swift added that the cheese sandwiches -- about 80 of the 46,000 meals the district serves daily -- can be considered a "courtesy meal," rather than an alternate meal.

Some districts, she noted, don't allow children without money to eat anything.

Albuquerque Public Schools "has historically gone above and beyond as far as treating children with dignity and respect and trying to do what's best with for the child and I think this is just another example," Swift said.

Recovery.gov - Accountability, What A Novel Concept

President Obama promised us complete transparency during the campaign. And after 8 years of Bush & Co., transparency and accountability and openness feel like a new and novel concepts. It's refreshing to be talked to like we're adults rather than as though we are 5 years old and some ideas are just too big and scary for us.

So let's all hold them accountable. Bookmark Recovery.gov and track how the Stimulus Package money is being spent. Keep our elected officials, both local and national, on their toes. They owe us complete transparency. We deserve it after all we've been through.

Recovery.gov - Your Money at Work

What Business is Fully Erect During the Recession?

That's right . . . condom makers!

Recession seems to put people in the mood for condoms
By Charisse Jones, USA Today

With a crippled economy forcing millions of cash-strapped Americans to entertain themselves at home, it's not surprising that one particular product is seeing a sales increase — condoms.

While car purchases plummeted and designer clothes mostly stayed on the racks, sales of condoms in the U.S. rose 5% in the fourth quarter of 2008, and 6% in January vs. the same time periods the previous year, The Nielsen Co. reports.

The sales bump squares solidly with one of the nation's most common trends during any recession: nesting. At the same time, condoms make for a relatively inexpensive form of birth control at a time many cash-strapped families are hesitant to grow.

"If people don't have the money to go out to a fancy dinner or are looking to cut back, Trojan gives them some real affordable ways to stay in and make some great memories together," says Jim Daniels, vice president of marketing for Trojan, the nation's No. 1 condom maker.

Contraception may also be more popular during a time when families are stretching dollars and want to avoid having more mouths to feed. "Obviously people in general want to avoid … unintended pregnancies," Daniels says. "But in a down economy those costs are even more burdensome to bear."

Pam Piligian of Fitzgerald+CO, the ad agency for Durex condoms, says that condoms are "recession resistant."

Still, condom sales increased at a slower rate in 2008, going up 2.3% over the previous year, compared with a 5.5% increase just three years ago, according to research firm Information Resources. Marketers say they are aware of the need to continue reminding consumers that condoms are an inexpensive and healthy way to have fun.

Piligian says that in a nod to the poor economy, Durex placed coupons last weekend in newspapers and is making more coupon offers on its website, trydurex.com.

Carol Carrozza, vice president of marketing for Ansell Healthcare, maker of LifeStyles condoms, says that her company may incorporate the idea of nesting into future campaigns, along with a focus on new products.

"We're mulling both … and trying to determine what kind of products and marketing strategies we can come out with that will help people during these recessionary times," she says.

Trojan says the message that it's good to cocoon is already part of its promotions, and it will spend more on advertising this year than last as it launches a multimedia campaign to promote two new products.

Trojan 2Go, a thin plastic case with a condom inside, hits store shelves this month while a new condom, Trojan Ecstasy, is scheduled for sale in the spring.

I'm Gonna Be RICH!

There's a recession going on? Well, maybe for you. But not for ME! Nope. I just landed $8.6 million! WAHOO!!!!! Talk about an economic bailout!

I'm sure you're wondering where this money came from, since just this morning, my financial situation was certainly not as flush as it is now! I've got $8.6 million! Yeah!

Well, I'm going to be nice and share the beautiful email I received just now from Mrs. Theresa Brown. Okay, sure, I don't know her. But she says she's a Christian and that's good enough for me. But, of course, I'm not going to tell you her email address because I know you'll try to take my money. You're kinda greedy that way.

Oh, one more thing. Please don't try to tell me that I should be suspicious of all the typos. That's lame. Mrs. Brown is from the Netherlands and they don't speak the same language we do. Plus, that just shows you're just jealous.

Anyway, onto the email . . .

I am Mrs Theresa Brown from Netherlands,I am 58 years old,i am deaf and suffering from a long time cancer of the breast ,from all indication my conditions is really deteriorating and it is quite obvious that i can't work or do any stressful thing, according to my doctors they have advised me that i may not live for the next two months,this is because the cancer stage has gotten to a very bad stage. I was brought up from a motherless babies home was married to my late husband for twenty years without a child ,My Husband (Kenneth Brown) died in a fatal motor accident Before his death we were true Christians.

Since his death I decided not to re-marry,I sold all my inherited belongings and deposited all the sum of $8.6million dollars with a Security Company in United states of America .Presently, this money is still with them and the management just wrote me as the true owner to come forward to receive the money for keeping it so long with attract a demurage fees as the security fees paid by me has expired or rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody to receive it on my behalf since I can not come over because of my illness or they get it confisticated.So instead of getting it confiscated i rather have someone whom i can trust to recieve the funds and utilise it according to my wishes.And the best part of it is ,The security company told me in the letter that they can have the consignment funds delivered to my approved next of kin in his house if within USA or transfered to his bank account and if outside USA then transfered to his or her bank account.

Presently, I'm with my laptop in a hospital in Frankfurt Germany where I have been undergoing treatment for my sickness . I have since lost my ability to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only a 2 months to live. It is my last wish to see that this money is invested/donated to any organisation/buisness of your choice and distributed each year among the charity organization,E.g the poor homes,the motherless babies home where i came from,the deaf homes,and churces etc .All i seek for is a God fearing person like you ,who will carry out my last wishes and before i emailed you today i prayed and the holy spirit gave me the confidence to send you this email.I took this decision, before i rest in peace because my time will soon be up.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Security Company in the USA. All i need from you is a confidential assurance that the funds when recieved by you will be used for the said purpose,Nowadays there are so much scams going on in the internet and it is diffcult to trust but i dont know why the Holy spirit still approved me to email you about this out of few email addresses i have from the internet,yours was the only one that was approved for me to contact.

Waiting for your reply.

Yours In Christ,

Mrs. Theresa Brown

Merry Christmas to ME!