Thanksgiving Gratitude List 2011

One of my favorite parts of Thanksgiving is stopping to count my blessings. Once again, my cup runneth over with good fortune. Of course, that's not to say I haven't faced hurdles this year; I just choose to focus on bountiful goodness in my life.

• This year, I'm grateful my mom is home from Florida. I'm grateful for all the years she selflessly gave to caring for Nana, but I'm grateful she's getting her life back. I'm especially grateful doctors caught her breast cancer when they were still able to remove all of it this summer.
• Sitting in my very own home is simply awesome and I'm grateful for the confluence of a horrible housing market and record low interest rates that allowed me to buy rather than rent.
• I'm grateful for my Forever Friends. They are my touchstone and keep me from losing my mind most days. They make me laugh, force me outside my comfort zone, and best of all don't let me get caught inside my head, which I'm prone to do.
• Betsey and Ross are still the best snuggle kitties ever. I'm grateful that in spite of this year of health challenges for the both of them, they are both doing quite well and most of the time don't know they're sick. I'm also truly grateful for their vets who remain focussed on Betsey and Ross's best interests rather than the bottom line. I appreciate that they have not easily given up on figuring out what was wrong with each of them and are now finding the right balance of treatment for them both, without bankrupting me.
• I'm grateful for my health and good insurance and I love the way my body feels each time I hit the gym. To that end, I'm grateful to the friend who encouraged me to join the gym and kicks my ass when I lose motivation.
• I'm grateful I got to spend the day with my dad a few weeks ago. We don't see each other very often, so it was a nice treat. Most years we only see each other at Watervale and at Thanksgiving and since I'm spending Thanksgiving with my mom this year, I'm really grateful we could get together.
• I'm grateful for the 60,000 unique visits Little Merry Sunshine has had in the past 4 years and 4 1/2 months. That's right, 60,000. You made that happen on Sunday and I missed it. Just 7 months ago we were at 50,000 visitors. What shocks me most about this new milestone is that I've hardly been writing this year. I guess that also means I'm grateful I worked through the writers block that has kept me silent more often than not.
• I'm grateful that when my car was broken into almost two weeks ago there was no damage and that my observant neighbor found my stuff two days later. I also appreciate the detective who called me today to let me know the status of the investigation of the multiple car break-ins last week.

I hope each of you has a wonderful Thanksgiving with those you love and that your cup is overflowing with blessings this year.

Day 1 of Birthapalooza was FABULOUS!

I should be exhausted. It's almost midnight and I'm completely wide awake after a spectacular birthday. Well, after Day 1 of Birthapalooza. There's still 2 more days to go.

To be sure, it started out a little iffy with a bad migraine and LOTS of nausea. Don't get any funny ideas, it was just my body telling me that it really is going to fall apart any second.

But then it got better in a huge hurry. Birthday text messages, tweets, Facebook messages, emails, cards, at least 5 serenades of "Happy Birthday" and gifts. Plus, cupcakes, lunch, and a fabulous dinner followed by chocolate cake at the beach!

Plus, the Stargazer Lilies in my garden bloomed today!
If I'm ever feeling down about myself, all I need to do is go back to all those generous messages and feel all the love all over again. My cup completely runneth over. My birthday was better than anything I could have imagined and only Day 1 is over. In fact, as we stood at the beach tonight, I searched for that first star of the evening (you know, to make a wish - doesn't everyone do that?), but when I found it, I realized there was nothing to wish for. I have everything I ever wanted that truly matters. So I just stood there feeling grateful because I am truly blessed.

May You Be Blessed

I've written 900 posts on Little Merry Sunshine since it all began July 1, 2007 (that's right, I forgot my own 3rd blogiversary earlier this month). Some posts have been incredibly personal; some have been funny (maybe even a bit snarky too); some have been written in outrage; some inspire me (and hopefully you too); some have been about nothing at all. I've shared the highs and lows and everything in between. I've taken breaks, but always returned. Through it all, you kept reading and I can't begin to tell you how much that means to me.

To celebrate 900 posts, I wanted to give you a gift that expressed just how much each of my readers means to me. The video below is my gift to you. So if you read LMS via email, just click here and visit the website. Trust me, it's worth it.

My Cab Driver Bill

I have mentioned him before, but I have never blogged about him.

I met Bill a few years ago when I called for a taxi to the airport. He arrived in a brand new black Dodge Magnum that was sparkling clean on the inside. We talked all the way to O'Hare and I learned that he primarily worked for himself, but sometimes did some extra work for the cab company when they were really busy. As we drove, Bill's cell phone kept ringing with people calling for his personal livery services, many of them days out. From the little bit I could hear, each call was from a regular customer Bill knew well.

Since that first trip to O'Hare, I've never used another cab service. Most times he takes me to O'Hare, it's a cheerful trip, but he has also seen me on some of my most difficult days. Last summer, he drove me to O'Hare when I was flying to Florida for Nana's funeral and then each of my trips in August and September to help my mom. Those were really difficult trips for me, but Bill made them just a little bit better with his cheerfulness and just listening as I shared stories of my Nana with him. Being in his car feels like riding with a good friend.

In fact, that's how Bill perceives his job. He's a retired police officer, although I can't remember where now, and he told me when we first met that he loves his career now because he hangs out with friends all day as he drives them around. How can you not love that attitude?

On the way to O'Hare in August, I shared a story of how Nana received a box of chocolates at her retirement. The chocolates were nothing extraordinary, probably just a box of Whitman's Sampler, but I'll never forget the way Nana held that box like it was the Ark of the Covenant or some other treasure as she looked the man who gave it to her square in the eye and with sincerity and excitement said to him, "Oh! A box of fine chocolates! This is JUST what I've wanted!" She had this way of making you feel like $10 million. A few minutes later, we pulled into O'Hare and Bill opened up the glove compartment and handed me an envelope. Inside was a dark chocolate candy bar with the most fancy wrapping. I just looked at him with tears rolling down my face and made Nana's words my own. I don't know if the chocolate was high quality or not and it doesn't matter. That night, when I had a moment of peace to myself after the first of many difficult days, I unwrapped that bar and bit into what was the most incredible piece of chocolate I will ever have in my life.

Bill sends a quarterly newsletter to all of his clients. I look forward to these mailings because they are always uplifting and always hand addressed (who does that still?). The winter letter just arrived and on the outside, was written "The Wonderful Jessica Gardner." In a strange twist of fate this morning, I received a bunch of personal mail (as opposed to bills). Guess which envelope got opened first?

This is Bill's winter letter.

PRICELESS GIFTS
by Bill Hammers

My fall letter this year contained a true story told through the eyes of a cab driver. My winter letter is also a true story of mine that I thought you might enjoy.

Exiting our apartment one day I noticed our neighbor, Jean from across the hall, at the same time, about to pass me by with her garbage to deposit in the garbage room. She appeared to be in her late 70's, very frail looking with a scowl on her face.

Our eyes met, I smiled and said, "I'll let you by if you smile." Her eyes squinted, her mouth became smaller and she forced a half smile dismissing me as she passed by. As she went by I said, "next time it's a hug I'll want!" I remembered all the while other neighbors in the building telling me that this particular lady was "...an old crab...," and they didn't want to bother with her.

Our next encounter was on our elevator. I mentioned to Jean that frequently Kathy (my wife) and I dine out, and we'd be glad to bring something back for her if she'd like. Cautiously, she said, "yes...that would be nice."

So the ritual began - dinner in a Styrofoam container, a knock on her door followed by the container being left by her door, me running back to our apartment before she opened her door.

When Kathy cooked for us, she'd always make extra and we'd leave Jean her "surprise" package covered with foil at her door followed by the "knock" and retreat.

Weeks later Jean called and invited us to her apartment for a glass of wine. We were delighted. Her place was furnished in what appeared to be very rich looking painting and furniture. We sat down and she began telling us her story. She explained that at this time in her life she no longer had any relatives or friends left. She then proceeded to tell us that she knew she didn't have a lot of time left. After about a half-hour of small talk Jean said, "I was once invited out on a date and had a dress made for it, but he stood me up and I never wore it again." As she spoke she kept looking downward shaking her head. Jean then looked up, smiled and said to my wife, "Kathy, I'd like you to have this dress." Stunned, my wife accepted as we both started tearing up.

Jean then asked me if I'd be able to take her to the hospital when her emphysema flared up, because, she stated "...the paramedics hurt me trying to life me onto the stretcher..." Over the following years, I did take hero n a number of occasions.

During those years, Jean would call Kathy over to her apartment and give her dolls she had from Macy's that were never even out of their boxes because she knew we had granddaughters.

Months later, our phone rang very late at night. My wife answered and handed the phone to me saying it was Jean and she wanted to talk to me. Jean explained, "Bill, I'm not going to make it through the night and I'm afraid to die alone!"

We talked about almost anything and everything that popped into our minds. Nothing profound mind you, just talked.

The next few days I tried to get information from the hospital about how Jean was doing, but because I wasn't a relative, none was given to me. Finally, I was lucky to speak with someone who, after I explained how I knew Jean, told me she had passed away two nights before.

Weeks later walking back from Jewel across from our apartment, another neighbor from our building also stopped by the red light, and questioned me about Jean and if I had talked to her prior to her passing. I explained we did, Jean was a very private person unlike how she was perceived by most. I went on to say that another neighbor in our building asked me about our relationship with jean and hinted as to what, if anything, Jean had left us. I explained both Kathy and I had several conversations with Jean and Kathy was given a brand new dress over 25 years old, and I, well I received her last phone call.

Jean, wherever you are, thank you for your "crabby" old smile at our first encounter; you taught both Kathy and I what priceless gifts are really all about - God Bless You!

--------------------
I could tell you many more Bill stories, but we'd be here all day. Suffice it to say, I think the world of him.

If you need cab service and want to feel like you're riding with family, call Bill. You won't have a better ride to O'Hare. He's not the cheapest, but his rates are very competitive and for the service he provides, it's a steal. Oh, and he lives in downtown Arlington Heights, so when you use his service, you're keeping your money local by supporting a small business in our community.

Bill Hammers
Time Bandit Taxi/Limo
847-420-6664

Oh, and tell him I referred you. It's the least I can do for all he's done for me. He's not just my cab driver. Bill is my friend.

Today I'm Grateful For . . . Thanksgiving 2009 Edition

Today is Thanksgiving, a day we all pause to be grateful for the abundance in our lives. No matter who we are or what our circumstances, I know that we each have an incredible list of blessings.

This year, my blessings include:

• My brother. Dave and I have become an unbreakable team since Nana's death. He is my sounding board when I get frustrated with all I have to do to get her estate closed and he has the courage to tell me the things I don't always want to hear in ways that make me listen. He also never complains about the "honey do" list of projects around my house that I always have when he visits.
  
• Little Merry Sunshine and Remembering Frances. Both blogs have helped keep me sane this year as I've had to navigate the unfamiliar territory of mourning. The readers and commenters of both blogs have given me strength, made me laugh, and made me think. Without you reading my blogs, I'd really just be talking to myself.
  
• Nana having 92 years and 359 days of a beautiful life and the vast majority of it in good health. I'm grateful for the life she lived, the experiences she had, and her Horatio Alger-attitude. I think of the many life lessons she taught me on a daily basis and smile. I look around at the legacy she left and am proud to be part of it.
• Mom being able to spend time with Nana these past few years. Mom may not have always been able to do all she wanted, but the relationship they forged and the bonds they shared are priceless. No one was a better advocate for Nana than Mom was. Without her fighting for Nana and standing up to doctors, Nana would have died a very painful and drawn-out death.
• My own resilience. I've heard it said that God doesn't give you more than you can handle and the last few months have shown me that I grossly underestimated my own strength.
• The World's Greatest Friends. Some of them have been life long friends and some of them have come into my life more recently. Some of them I only know through Facebook or blogging. But they all make me better.
  
• My business. I am grateful beyond words for the flexibility I have, knowing that my efforts are rewarded over and over again, and that I have a positive impact on the lives of others.
• Betsey and Ross and their continued good health. The vet said they look 8 rather than their 13 1/2 years. They are spunky and loyal and loving.
  

Even though I sometimes have a difficult time staying positive when the world feels overwhelming, I know that in truth, my cup runneth over with blessings and it's my job to find those blessings everyday.

What are you grateful for today?

Count Your Blessings Every Day

Today was Nana's Celebration of Life Service at Crystal Beach Community Church, in Crystal Beach, Florida. She loved this church and was proud to be one of its founding members in 1957. My mom and I both spoke at Nana's service and these were my comments. I'm proud to say I only cried three times and wondered if I could finish my talk just once.

JLG

For those of you who don't know me, I'm Jessica Gardner, Frances' granddaughter. I'm the oldest of her four grandchildren, the only granddaughter, and Virginia's daughter.

My memories of Nana span almost four decades and I could stand here all day sharing stories with you, but rather than do that, I want to focus on what I believe made Nana the woman she was . . . counting her blessings every day.

Late last week, as we were preparing for Nana's passing, I spoke with Denise McCloud, here at the Church. She shared with me how she and Pastor Susie went to visit Nana recently. Nana was sleeping with the most peaceful expression on her face and her hands were folded neatly across her chest, as though in prayer. I remember smiling through my tears, as I heard this story and then shared with Denise that for as long as I've known Nana, she always slept that way - on her back with her fingers interlaced across her chest as though in prayer. I've never seen anyone sleep as peacefully as Nana did.

As we spoke, I continued to share that it was my belief that the reason Nana slept so peacefully every night, never suffering from insomnia or other disruptions to her sleep, was because she always spoke kindly, found the best in others, focused on her blessings rather than what she didn't have or trying to keep up with the Jones's, treated people with respect and the way she wanted to be treated, lived her life with humility, and turned her struggles over to God every night. I never heard Nana gossip, speak ugly about anyone, curse, complain, or hold a grudge, even at times when no one would have faulted her for it. One of her favorite proverbs was Proverbs 15:1, "A soft answer turneth away wrath; but grievous words stir up anger." It was one of her most fundamental beliefs.

She was a devout Christian, but you didn't know it because she was constantly telling you about it. You knew it through her deeds and the way she lived her life. Whether she was finding a low-cost, good home for a family in financial distress, bringing a table to a newlywed without any furniture, or dealing with her customers at the bank, Nana was selfless in her actions. She thought of others before she thought of herself and, in my mind, was the originator of the question "What would Jesus do?" I know she asked herself this question many times every day.

Every night, she ended her day the same way. She dropped to her knees, thanked God for the many gifts he had given her (even if sometimes those gifts took the form of "opportunities" or "challenges") and asked for His blessings for all of her loved ones - naming each of them individually. Nana's prayers were never pre-scripted. Each one was unique. She never asked God for material things; rather she thanked him for giving her strength, courage, patience, humility, and providing for her and her family. She knew he had a plan for her and she never questioned it.

For Nana, family always came first. Even when she was working, if any of us would call her, she would always take the call. She may not have been able to speak at that moment other than to say, "Jessica, dear, I'm with a customer now. Can I call you back?" in her sweet Southern drawl, but she never asked anyone to take a message from her family.

I remember that Nana used to always tell me that I was her favorite granddaughter. Now, the fact is that I am her ONLY granddaughter. At first, I didn't like it when she said this to me, but I came to understand that this was her way of telling me what a special blessing having a granddaughter was and I began to look forward to the compliment. When she retired from NationsBank, now Bank of America, a customer presented her with a gift of drugstore chocolates. I remember standing there as she accepted the gift, held the box like it was a rare jewel, looked at the man, and sincerely said, "Oh, that's JUST what I have wanted! A box of really fine chocolates! Thank you so much!" When my parents divorced, she reached out to my dad to let him know that she still loved him and that he was always welcome in her home. Twenty-five years later, he still remembers those words and the impact they had on him, as he related the story to me for the first time, just the other night. He wasn't her ex-son-in-law. He was and has always remained the man who married her daughter and gave her two beautiful grandchildren. Paying you a sincere compliment was one way she counted her blessings every day. She filled herself up by sincerely lifting you up with heart-felt, soft words.

Nana wasn't rich in material goods, but she was rich in all the things that mattered: love, gratitude, compassion, friends, and family. She loved to tell us that we must always count our blessings every day and that included the things we might not think were blessings. She taught me to always find the bright side of life. I might have to search for it, but it was always there. I think my own optimism in life came from her.

One of my favorite things about Nana is how she loved to write letters. I would receive letters from her weekly, no matter what. Sometimes, those letters would be personal letters written just to me. Sometimes they would be copies of letters she had sent to someone else, but thought I'd be interested in. Sometimes, they'd simply be newspaper clippings that she thought might be relevent to my life. I've kept the letters that touched me most and found one recently that I'd been saving just for today.

She wrote this letter seven years ago, in April 2002, as she was recovering from a stroke and just before she went blind. What I love about this letter, is how rather than focusing on her aches, pains, and new limitations, she chose to count her blessings and share them. I think she sent this letter only to me, although it reads like a letter she copied and sent to multiple family members. Maybe she somehow knew this was the perfect way to remember her today. It was simply titled "Happy Days I Recall."

Of course, a happy day was when Daddy (Jesse Paulk) and I married on September 30, 1938.

The happiest day was when I knew Jesus was my Lord and Savior - my strength and my redeemer.

I do not remember being baptized, but when I was a little girl about 6 or 7, Momma had a new dress for me and Momma and Daddy took me to Sunday School. We sat in little chairs in front of churt - about 7 or 8 children and their parents talked to us. I am sure that was the day I was baptized. I have always loved the Lord, but as I grow older, I realize each day - He is my strength and redeemer. He will never leave me or forsake me, if only I believe and I do.

Another great and happy day was when the nure handed me a darling baby girl - Virginia - September 12, 1948. Daddy and I thought we owned the world with Virginia, so sweet and precious.

Another day to remember was when a bouncing baby boy was handed to me, February 22, 1951 - Michael. Daddy thought the whole world was handed to him with that special baby boy. Virginia and Michael have both given us great pleasures then Daddy was taken away on September 12, 1961.

With dear thoughts of Daddy and God's help, they grew up and were a real pleasure, dear children. Never any trouble. I had many smiles each day.

Then came along another darling baby girl in Tampa on June 16, 1971, Jessica. (My first grandchild.) She was so cute and sweet. I remember driving over to Tampa to see the precious new arrival. Such a pleasure you have been. Then came another bouncing baby boy in Ft. Myers, Florida on October 5, 1974, David Gardner. All these dear little babies have made life worth living.

A few years ago, Jessica invited me to Washington, DC for Christmas. As the plane reached DC, I stood by the window and looked at the Capitol, never expecting to see it with my own eyes. I stood there in awe thinking about all the goverment under that dome. It was a sight I shall never forget. That Christmas she got many wonderful passes for us to see all of DC. David, bless his heart, got a wheel chair and pushed me all over Washington. Sights I had only studied in school - never expecting to see with my own eyes. Potomac River was real. All of the beautiful sights of DC and thanks to Jessica and David for all these wonderful sights. Even Christmas Eve services in the beautiful National Cathedral and then a drive to Roanoke, Virginia. I slept in the back seat all the way, but the next day, going back through all those mountains. Had I known I sure would not have slept. Anyway, was a wonderful Christmas - being with Virginia, Jessica, and David. Will always be a wonderful memory.

Then I think of Jesse and Ryan, (my grandsons from my son Michael). I only saw darling pictures of Jesse for a few months with Michael holding him in his arms. Such a precious picture. Then I few to Colorado when he was baptized at home. The preacher came to the house and Maureen (Michael's wife) and Michael had a few friends in. Jesse arrived November 30, 1981 and was named for his grandfather, Jesse Edward Paulk, and someone in Maureen's family was named Michael, so was a nice name - Jesse Michael Paulk - from both sides of the family.

Ryan arrived in a Dunedin, Florida on May 1, 1985 and named Ryan Thomas Paulk. I remember driving to the hospital when he was only a few hours old. He was so dear and sweet.

Certainly I am sad today. Sad at the loss of my dear Nana, whom I will miss more than I can even comprehend right now. But I am blessed to have had her for 38 years and, when I focus on that, my sadness is lifted just a little. She would want us all to focus on the good in each other and in life. To celebrate each day for the gift that it is and to count our blessings, just as she counted hers each day for 93 years.