WARNING:
Listening to the following may cause your bladder muscles to fail and/or liquids may fly out of your nose and onto your computer keyboard or screen. Listen at your own risk.
McCain's Voicemail to Sarah Palin
Just trust me on this. You will love it.
*I did NOT actually wet my pants. Really. Although my sides hurt from laughing so much.
Showing posts with label dirty old men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dirty old men. Show all posts
Friday, September 5, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
GOP: "Respect Bristol's Privacy. That's Always Been the Tradition and Practice When It Comes To the Children of Candidates."
Attention! Attention! Attention! The Grand Old Party has an announcement to make!
Per an internal, not for external distribution GOP Talking Points:
"The media should respect Bristol's privacy. That's always been the tradition and practice when it comes to the children of candidates. The children of candidates do not choose to run for office and be thrust into the spotlight."
Yes, you read that correctly. The GOP would like you MEAN and LIBERAL BIASED media types (and that surely includes you bloggers - who John McCain hates) to stop hating on and bad mouthing poor Bristol Palin. And they have a spotless record of always embracing politicians' children, no matter the political party.
Except for when they don't.
"Do you know why Chelsea Clinton is so ugly?" John McCain told a handful of big Republican funders in June 1998. "Because Janet Reno is her father."
For the record (and in case John McCain was confused), Chelsea Clinton, 18 in 1998, was not running for political office, nor had she been thrust into the news due to her activities that were in complete contrast to her father's (President Bill Clinton's) beliefs and policies.
Nope. That is Bristol Palin, the pregnant daughter of Sarah Palin. So John McCain will just have to excuse us for questioning Sarah Palin's strict abstinence policies and her pregnant, unwed teenage daughter.
And just cuz I've been looking for an excuse to point out how misogynistic John McCain is, enjoy the following where John McCain joking about women enjoy being raped* is just "McCain being McCain."
*Trust me on this one. Women DO NOT like being raped.
Per an internal, not for external distribution GOP Talking Points:
"The media should respect Bristol's privacy. That's always been the tradition and practice when it comes to the children of candidates. The children of candidates do not choose to run for office and be thrust into the spotlight."
Yes, you read that correctly. The GOP would like you MEAN and LIBERAL BIASED media types (and that surely includes you bloggers - who John McCain hates) to stop hating on and bad mouthing poor Bristol Palin. And they have a spotless record of always embracing politicians' children, no matter the political party.
Except for when they don't.
"Do you know why Chelsea Clinton is so ugly?" John McCain told a handful of big Republican funders in June 1998. "Because Janet Reno is her father."
For the record (and in case John McCain was confused), Chelsea Clinton, 18 in 1998, was not running for political office, nor had she been thrust into the news due to her activities that were in complete contrast to her father's (President Bill Clinton's) beliefs and policies.
Nope. That is Bristol Palin, the pregnant daughter of Sarah Palin. So John McCain will just have to excuse us for questioning Sarah Palin's strict abstinence policies and her pregnant, unwed teenage daughter.
And just cuz I've been looking for an excuse to point out how misogynistic John McCain is, enjoy the following where John McCain joking about women enjoy being raped* is just "McCain being McCain."
*Trust me on this one. Women DO NOT like being raped.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Happy Birthday Viagra!
Viagra is 10 years old! And no fewer than 25 million erections have been enjoyed since March 27, 1998, thanks to this little blue pill!
I wanted to find the classic Bob Dole Viagra commercial, but all I could find was this funny John McCain Viagra video. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe John McCain would be good for our sex lives afterall!
So I encourage all you 10-year olds out there who have older parents (50s or older) to have a highly uncomfortable conversation with them tonight around the dinner table. Maybe start out the dinner prayer with "Dear God, Thank you for giving Mommy & Daddy Viagra in 1998."
On a personal note, I strongly encourage the boycotting of Viagra (and other ED drugs) until all insurance companies are required to cover birth control and all pharmacies are required to dispense it and quit hiding behind religious reasons bullshit. See, I was right. John McCain IS bad for our sex lives. To paraphrase Josh Lyman, I'm sick of government that's just small enough to fit into my bedroom.
I wanted to find the classic Bob Dole Viagra commercial, but all I could find was this funny John McCain Viagra video. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe John McCain would be good for our sex lives afterall!
So I encourage all you 10-year olds out there who have older parents (50s or older) to have a highly uncomfortable conversation with them tonight around the dinner table. Maybe start out the dinner prayer with "Dear God, Thank you for giving Mommy & Daddy Viagra in 1998."
On a personal note, I strongly encourage the boycotting of Viagra (and other ED drugs) until all insurance companies are required to cover birth control and all pharmacies are required to dispense it and quit hiding behind religious reasons bullshit. See, I was right. John McCain IS bad for our sex lives. To paraphrase Josh Lyman, I'm sick of government that's just small enough to fit into my bedroom.
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