New Experience #98: Little Merry Sunshine Joins ChicagoNOW!

Image from ChicagoNow.com

Effective today, November 17, 2013, Little Merry Sunshine has joined ChicagoNow, the blogging platform of the Chicago Tribune Media Group.

Writer Jessica Gardner describes this move as an enormous honor and opportunity. "It has always been my dream to become a published writer and this opportunity to partner with ChicagoNow is the first step towards making that dream a reality. I am thrilled and honored to be associated with such a notable publication. Little Merry Sunshine will be exposed to a much wider audience and that presents endless opportunities."

As you may recall, Little Merry Sunshine has previously been recognized by the Chicago Tribune. In March 2009, LMS was named one of Chicago's Best Blogs and then appeared on the front page of the Tribune online on April 17, 2009.

These were enormous honors and and joining ChicagoNOW is the logical next step.

The original Little Merry Sunshine site will not disappear. The articles and all of your comments will continue on into perpetuity. New Little Merry Sunshine blog posts will appear at ChicagoNow.com/Little-Merry-Sunshine. Please bookmark the new site.

This will be the last post on the original Little Merry Sunshine blog. The first Little Merry Sunshine post on ChicagoNOW will appear on Monday, November 18th.

What does this mean for current Little Merry Sunshine readers?

• If you receive LMS via email, your subscription has been moved to the new blog on ChicagoNOW. You don't need to take any action.
• If you read LMS via a reader, you'll need to grab a new feed. You can do that by visiting the new site here.
• If you read LMS on the website, please update your bookmarks and visit the new site.
• If you link to LMS on your website or blog, please update your links to direct readers to the new Little Merry Sunshine.
• And if you haven't done so already, please like Little Merry Sunshine on Facebook.

What does this mean for Little Merry Sunshine and me?

• I still own all of my content. It will simply live on the ChicagoNOW site.
• Being part of the ChicagoNow network means that I will be exposed to many more readers.

I make this promise to you: You've been a loyal reader since I began blogging on July 1, 2007. You've stuck with me during my down periods and times when I had no idea if I could write anymore. You have always come back. That means the world to me and I'm grateful for each and every one of you. I will not forget you and I will not let you down. 

Little Merry Sunshine will continue to be all the things you love. I'll talk about my 100 New Experiences, what inspires and/or amuses me, politics, sports, dreams, Sammy and Zoey, and much more. Hopefully, I'll continue to be funny sometimes. At least for a little while, however, I'll probably cut back on some of the more personal things I've written about here. At least until I get my footing.

I hope you'll follow me over to ChicagoNOW and continue the conversation.

BTW, that's 73 of 100 New Experiences completed!

Like Nana, Like Jessica

I've shared my experiences with Nana visiting me since her death here and here. She visited me again last night/today.

Background: Last night's dinner was Grandmother themed. No, it wasn't all soft foods, suitable for the denture crowd. Dinner consisted of my Grannycago's Grilled Chicken (That's my Gardner Grandma, who lived in Chicago. She hated that name, so I loved it even more.), Nana's Rice, and Christopher's YaYa's Green Beans. My dinner was heavenly and the leftovers are even better.  Doesn't this meal look divine?

About midnight, I went to sleep and had a dream about being at Nana's house with both of my parents for the last time. We were cleaning out the house to put it on the market, just as we did almost exactly 12 months ago. In my dream, we were having breakfast when in the door walks Nana. We had a lovely visit, got caught up on the last four years since her death, and then she left.

Okay, now you know the context of what I got up to today.

You should also know the following story about Nana:

About 20 years ago, when Nana was still working at NationsBank (now Bank of America), I would call her almost nightly to check in with her. Sometimes our chats were short and sometimes they were long. Nana was never a complainer, so it struck with me some concern when she began complaining in all of our calls about how much pain she was in. Every night, she would tell me how badly her feet hurt after work and she just didn't know what to do. Maybe, she would say, it was time to retire (she was almost 80). This went on for at least a couple of weeks. It was hard to hear about all the pain she was in because I was in DC and there was nothing I could do. One night, she got on the phone and just couldn't stop apologizing and telling me how embarrassed and ashamed she was, but didn't mention the pain in her feet. I didn't understand and couldn't imagine what was causing all this embarrassment and shame. Finally, she explained that as she was taking off her shoes that night, a bunch of balled up tissue paper fell out of one and she realized that both shoes had tissue paper stuffed into the toe of each shoe. Her feet were in so much pain because her size 7 triple narrow feet were essentially crammed into size 5 triple narrow shoes.

This morning, I was rushing around getting ready for work and decided that the only shoes that would work for today were some super cute black patent leather flats that also hurt my feet so badly I can barely walk by the end of the day. The things we do for fashion.

I slipped on the flats, looked down and saw what I thought was a piece of white paper towel peaking out of the top of the left shoe. I took it back off and bent down to remove the paper towel only to discover that it wasn't paper towel. It was a huge hard piece of grayish cardboard stuck in the shoes to help them keep their shape. My feet were being pinched by this cardboard.

Needless to say, I couldn't stop laughing. Like Nana, like Jessica.

Then I looked up, thanked Nana for the visit, and told her I look forward to next time.

100 New Experiences in 12 Months

Over the past few months, I've come to realize that I've stopped being as adventurous as I used to be. Once upon a time, I picked up and moved to Washington DC where I knew no one. That was just a few weeks after I flew out and spent a week pounding the pavement and knocking on doors until someone interviewed me and then gave me a summer internship working for someone else.

Almost three years ago, I created my Bucket List. I've made some progress on it and I'm proud of that progress. The items on my Bucket List still excite me. But my Bucket List lacks one thing: urgency.

Do you know the difference between a dream and a goal? Dates. Goals have dates attached to them. Dreams are "some day" things. Goals have a begin and end date. 

Because I need to find my adventurous side again and I want to live more fully than I have been in the past year, I'm taking some inspiration from Amy Guth, Social Media Manager at the Chicago Tribune. If you don't follow Amy on Twitter, you're missing out. Trust me. She's tough, smart, witty, and one of the coolest women on the interwebs. Amy has decided to spice up her life by doing 1,000 new things in one year. How cool is that?

1,000 new experiences feels completely overwhelming to me, but 100 feels daunting and exciting at the same time. In fact, since I had this idea early last week, I've flown out of bed each morning with new ideas. Some of the ideas listed below are from my Bucket List and some are new. 

Here are my ground rules: "New" is defined as something I've never done or have not done in more than 10 years. My list is ever growing. I will share stories and pictures of each experience. The year kicked off on April 11, 2013 and will conclude on April 10, 2014.

1. Attend a taping of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me
2. Vacation by myself and take care of only me. - DONE 4/11 - 4/15/2013
3. Vacation in Nashville - DONE 4/11 - 4/15/2013
4. Go on vacation and leave work 100% behind (i.e., don't check email or voice mail) - DONE 4/15/2013
5. Stand in the center of both the Grand Ole Opry and Ryman Auditorium stages - DONE 4/12/2013 and 4/14/2013
6. Play Elvis's piano at the RCA Studio B - DONE 4/12/2013
7. Sit on the stage at the Civic Opera House during a performance - Will be done 6/16/2013
8. Play with the beluga whales at the Shedd Acquarium - Will be done by June 30th
9. Take a cooking class - Scheduled for May 21st at David's Bistro in Antioch
10. Swim 1 mile without stopping
11. Climb the main dune at Sleeping Bear Dunes - Will be done in August
12. Learn a new skill - DONE 4/24/2013 Learned how to make a floral centerpiece
13. Increase by savings account by 2 months worth of expenses
14. Max out my employer match for my 403(b) in 2013 - DONE Increased my contribution to max out the match 5/2/2013
15. Try 20 new foods
16. Lose 50 pounds
17. Attend a concert in Millenium Park
18. Ride a mechanical bull
19. Sing karaoke
20. Attend a baseball game at Milwaukee's Miller Park - Will be done August 15th
21. Take the ferry to Muskegon or Ludington - Will be done in August
22. Run a 5K
23. Take a golf lesson
24. Have a full spa day - massage, mani/pedi, facial, and anything other fancy spa treatment I can find
25. Take an Ivy League Class
26. Stand on the sky deck ledge in the Sears Tower (don't tell me it's called Willis Tower now, I don't care)
27. Visit Mt. Rushmore
28. Do a polar plunge
29. Reupholster my dining room chairs
30. Visit the Museum of Science & Industry
31. Visit the Museum of Contemporary Art
32. Visit the National Museum of Mexican Art
33. Visit the Adler Planetarium
34. Visit the DuSable Museum of African American Art
35. Visit the Field Museum of Natural History
36. Visit the Notebaert Nature Museum
37. Give up Diet Coke (and all soda)
38. Drink a minimum of 64 oz of water each day
39. Have High Tea at The Drake
40. Serve meals in a soup kitchen
41. Tour the Chicago Tribune
42. Attend the Blue Man Group
43. Attend the Book of Mormon
44. Visit Chicago's Chinatown
45. Visit the Illinois Holocaust Museum
46. Reread my favorite books from childhood: the Little House on the Prairie series, Little Women, the Anne of Green Gables series
47. See Oklahoma at the Civic Opera House - Will be done 5/3/2013
48. Visit Galena, Illinois
49. 
    

Putting these ideas down on "paper" was the easy part. Now, I need to get to living life as fully as possible.

Do any of my ideas inspire you? Want to join me on my journey? Let me know and let's team up. Life's more fun when it's experienced with friends.

LMS Bucket List #10: Create a Scholarship at my Alma Mater

After years in the planning, yesterday I was finally able make a long time goal and Bucket List Item #10 a reality.

I created the Gardner Legacy Scholarship at my alma mater, Lake Forest College.

The Gardner Legacy Scholarship will be awarded in the 2013-14 academic year to a deserving first year student with demonstrated financial need. Priority shall be given to family members of Lake Forest alumni and students who achieved a 3.5 high school GPA on a 4-point scale.

I created this scholarship in honor of my cousin, Alan Gardner '90, who was instrumental in my decision to attend LFC. But for our overlapping year at LFC, I don't think we'd still be as close as we are 26 years after we first met in 1986. It was during that year that we truly went from being family to being friends.

Aside from this incredibly important family relationship, it was important to me to help a student get through college because LFC made it financially possible for me to attend, when I didn't have the money and the opportunities I've had as a result of my outstanding college education and the network I built during those four years is priceless.

Almost on a daily basis, I find something in my life that wouldn't have happened or wouldn't be possible without all that I learned at LFC. I can't tell you that what I learned in Multivariable Calculus is something I use daily (or at all), but I do use the analytical and reasoning skills I learned in it at least once a day. Being a psychology major constantly helps me better understand people and their motivations. Participating in the Urban Studies Program taught me how to navigate Chicago, which enabled me to strike out on my own in Washington DC and know I'd be okay.

Knowing that I'm helping a student have experiences that will shape them and their dreams is one of the most fulfilling things I've ever done.

Little Merry Sunshine Changed My Life

A post caught my eye on Facebook this afternoon. It simply said "How has your blog changed your life?" and had a link to a blog post titled "My Blog Changed My Life" on Blogher.com. I often read Blogher blogs and always enjoy what I read.

I was particularly struck by this particular blog, however, because until the author got to the part about getting married and becoming a mom, the post could have been written by me. As I drove home from Lake Forest I thought about the post and pondered the question, "How has Little Merry Sunshine changed my life?"

Simply put, Little Merry Sunshine has not only changed my life, but it saved my life.

When I started writing, four years ago next Friday, I was unsure about my ability to write. I had no idea if I'd stick with it. I kept the first few posts secured, only opening up Little Merry Sunshine to those I trusted the most and who I believed would tell me honestly if it was even worth continuing or if I should just shut up and quit thinking I could write. They cheered me on, so opened LMS up to a larger audience.

I wrote about what inspired me, my adventures in gardening, lust, Betsey and Ross, politics, sports, family, and much more. I was nervous about opening myself up because I worried about people not liking what I wrote. Those who enjoy my writing and Little Merry Sunshine have stuck around, visit regularly and even subscribe to the blog. Those who don't, haven't been back. Oh well. But I was worried, and I still worry, about putting my vulnerabilities out there for all the world to see. It's a little like standing naked for inspection. I can't hide my flaws and I can't hide from the criticism, although trust me when I say the loudest critic is always me. But the best parts of me also have the opportunity to be viewed and celebrated.


Some people think bloggers are a joke, but I disagree. In spite of what some people may think, I frequently censor myself and have tossed out more blog posts than I care to think about. Some were partial posts, but others were complete and ready for publication. I tossed them out because they were either too personal and I was afraid to reveal so much or because the posts didn't live up to my standards.

Through blogging, I've had some of my beliefs challenged by people I respect and others challenged by some people just looking to pick a fight. I've engaged with the respectful ones and enjoyed the opportunities to grow. I've ignored the haters.

I've also gotten to know people I would never have known otherwise and I've reconnected with people I had long ago lost touch with. I discovered that Little Merry Sunshine has a far greater reach than I ever imagined, when I was contacted just last weekend by a former flame telling me he's a regular reader of LMS. The verdict is still out about how I feel about that. Honestly, I had sealed that can of worms and stored it neatly away and wasn't really prepared to have it abruptly opened again.

Little Merry Sunshine has been recognized by the Chicago Tribune and numerous published authors read it.

I write when I'm over-the-moon happy, but I've also written from the depths of overwhelming grief. When Nana died, writing Little Merry Sunshine (here and here) and Remembering Frances kept me going when I couldn't get out of bed and no one knew about it. And then when my heart got broken a month later, I wrote to get through that grief too. To say Little Merry Sunshine saved my life during the difficult times, is no exaggeration. Believe me, writing is

Little Merry Sunshine has made me more confident. It has helped me deal with my demons and even stop caring what others think so much. Friends and family have told me they are proud of me for some of the things I've written and the positions I've taken. I've become clearer on some of my lifelong dreams and dealt with giving others up.

If you haven't tried writing, give it a shot. It's cathartic and fun and you never know, you may just find a new passion.

What Do You Live For?

My friend Chris Waugh posted this video on Twitter early this morning. Watch it and remember to dream and live fully.

My Bucket List

Do you have a Bucket List? You know, a list of things you want to do before you die? I've always sort of had one, but never written mine down. But then I got to thinking that if I didn't have it written down anywhere, I might not actually ever do the things I dream of doing.

Without further ado and in no particular order, here's my Bucket List.

1. Write a novel and have it published.
2. Travel to 6 of the 7 continents (I have no need to visit Antarctica).
3. Kiss the man I love at the top of the Eiffel Tower (sure, it's cliche, but so what).
4. Marry the man of my dreams (and never get divorced).
5. Be a mom (being a step-mom or adopting kid(s) would be perfect).
6. Visit New York City. (I've actually been there twice for 2 1-day business trips, but I want to really SEE New York City - Ellis Island, Statue of Liberty, Central Park, tour the United Nations, walk across the Brooklyn Bridge, see a Broadway show, etc.)
7. See a baseball game at every major league stadium (I've been to two - Wrigley Field and Oriole Park at Camden Yards, well, three if you count the Old Comiskey Park).
8. Attend the Cubs World Series Championship Victory Parade.
9. Have my gardens featured in a Garden Walk.
10. Create a scholarship at my alma mater.
11. Visit the Great Wall of China, the Egyptian Pyramids, and Stonehenge.
12. Read the Complete Works of William Shakespeare.
13. Tour the Sistine Chapel and attend mass at the Vatican.
14. Take the ferry to Muskegon or Ludington (rather than drive all the way to Watervale).

15. Cook every recipe in Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking.
16. Attend a Democratic National Committee convention as a delegate.
17. Be an extra in a movie.
18. Run for public office.
19. Drive from Chicago to LA on Route 66.
20. Learn to snow ski.
21. Run and complete a half-marathon.
22. Lose 100 pounds by my 40th birthday. I've got 10 1/2 months.
23. Visit the Grand Canyon and Mt. Rushmore.
24. Sky dive.
25. Learn to scuba dive and dive the Great Barrier Reef.
26. Learn how to shoot a gun.
27. Ride a motorcycle.
28. Have my picture taken with a sitting President.
29. Have front row seats for a U2 concert.
30. Saber a bottle of champagne.

31. Ride a camel.
32. Sing karaoke (I even have a song picked out).
33. Learn to play tennis.
34. Cruise the Greek Islands.

There are quite a few additional To Do's on my Bucket List, but seeing as how Little Merry Sunshine is a family blog (well, at least my family reads it), I must keep those items private. :)

What's on your Bucket List?

A Lifetime of Dreams

As I go through the process of cleaning out Nana's house, I look around at all the stuff that's accumulated during her almost 93 years and I think about the meaning of it all. On one level, it's all stuff. Some of it has some financial worth, but most of it can only be valued in sentiment. But on another level, all the stuff she's collected represents her lifetime of dreams. Dreams not only for herself, but also for her children and grandchildren.

I've looked through old photo albums and scrapbooks and seen her pride in my mom's and uncle's accomplishments. I've read through the letters she sent to Presidents Kennedy and Johnson after my grandfather died in 1961 attempting to get a mistake about my grandfather's VA benefits (and subsequent benefits for Nana) corrected. I've read letters she wrote to my mom and uncle later in life telling them of her unconditional love and letters she wrote to Dave and me telling us how proud she was of our accomplishments and her hopes for us. I've flipped through the well-worn pages of her Bible knowing that she turned to it nightly for comfort, inspiration, and life's answers. I've found boxes of my baby clothes (many of which she made)she carefully preserved in hopes my daughter would wear them someday. I found the blanket that kept me warm in my crib when I first came home from the hospital (and initially tossed it in the charity box, but then got sentimental and saved it). I've walked through her childhood in Mississippi with her sisters through pictures and diaries. The house itself is the culmination of a lifelong dream. She built it in 1969 from her life savings. The stories I've heard say she would come over after work once the frame was built and hang sheets where she wanted the internal walls to be located. There probably weren't too many other women who were designing and building their own homes. I've held the dress she wore to my parents' wedding in 1970 in awe of just how exquisite it was. She was so proud to walk her daughter down the aisle. I found a silk sari a friend had custom made for Nana in Fiji. Mom didn't even know of its existence. I also found half a dozen quilts Nana hand sewed and felt the care, hope and love she sewed into each stitch.

Sure, it's just stuff, but it all represents a life well lived. She may not have been rich in a financial sense, but she lived life on her terms with love and a never-ending faith in everyone and achieved most, if not all, of her dreams. That makes her wealthy in my book. I hope that when I pass away, whomever is charged with dividing up my personal belongings can say that about me.

Making Prom Dreams Come True for All Girls

My friend Steve and me at our Senior Prom. He wasn't my date, but I don't remember the name of my date. And for the record, the tie I'm wearing was my date's tie and I don't have any idea why I'm wearing it. May 1989

For so many high school girls, attending prom is just another rite of passage. It's like turning 16 and getting a drivers' license. It just happens. No one gives much thought to whether or not they will attend because they just will.

Many girls start planning their senior prom the moment they enter high school. They read all the prom editions of teen magazines - Seventeen, Cosmo Girl, etc. - fantasizing what they would look like in each dress. They spend hours walking the malls with their girlfriends in search of the perfect prom dress, even if they're freshmen or sophomores and aren't going unless they happen to have upperclassmen boyfriends. They pick out their hairstyles and know how their nails and make-up will be done. They've got all the details planned out to the minute.

But for many girls, prom is not an automatic reality. Whether it's finances or disabilities that could get in the way, for many girls, attending prom is simply out of reach . . . or so they may think.

Over the last few years, I've seen a number of heartwarming stories about groups that come together to make prom a reality for all girls - regardless of finances or other challenges. They collect like-new prom dresses, shoes, and accessories and set up a "shop" for the girls to come try on the gowns and share in the whole "finding the perfect prom dress experience." The girls either receive the dresses for free or for a fraction of their real cost. Sometimes, the organizations even bring in photographers, make-up artists, and hair stylists, to truly allow the girls to feel princess-like, even if just for an afternoon.

Recently, I've seen two of these stories and both about brought me to tears.

The first was last month on the ABC Nightly News about an organization in Atlanta that provides prom dresses for foster girls. I wish I could find the video because the stories of the moms and the girls and seeing the looks on their faces when they find just the right dress was priceless. They call the event Prom-a-Palooza. What a great name!

The second story was in the Chicago Tribune last week.

Making more prom wishes come true
Wish Upon A Wardrobe expands mission beyond homeless girls
by Phyllis Benson, Chicago Tribune, March 31, 2010

Who: Deirdre White is president of the Elgin Junior Service Board, which runs Wish Upon a Wardrobe, providing prom dresses and accessories for girls who could not otherwise afford them.

What she does: Wish Upon a Wardrobe held its first event last year, providing homeless girls in school districts 300, 301 and U-46 with prom dresses, accessories and shoes.

"There were happy tears that day. The girls were having so much fun," White said. "With the economy, we thought why don't we open it up a little more?"

Homeless girls will have a private session, but any currently enrolled high school female may attend the public event from noon to 2 p.m. April 10 in the YWCA Elgin, 220 E. Chicago St. A valid school ID or other proof of current enrollment is required. Girls will be assisted by personal shoppers.

The dresses, which White said are in the latest styles and colors, and accessories will be available for only $20.

"The girls are super-happy when they walk away," she said. "It's empowering women, and it's supporting the family. ... Financially, it's really hard for parents these days to have to say. ‘No, we can't afford the dress for prom,' and girls can't go. But they leave here very empowered and feeling beautiful."

The goal of the Elgin Junior Service Board, which began in the 1930s as a YWCA service project, is to empower women and support families, White said. In addition to Wish Upon a Wardrobe, services include emergency and immediate dental care for children, a clothing center, financial assistance for health-related services, breast cancer awareness and mammograms, and a scholarship for single women with children through Elgin Community College's Scholarship Foundation.

Wish Upon a Wardrobe will soon expand when it receives a donation of more than 4,000 dresses from the Junior Women's League of Kane and DuPage counties. White is looking for donated space to store them.

White's wish list is a climate-controlled space (dresses can wilt in the summer and dry out in the winter) in Elgin with room for dress racks or tables, and preferably on the first floor or a space with elevator access. While she would prefer donated space, a nominal fee could be negotiated.

How you can help: A fundraiser, Game On!, a sports-themed variety show, will be held at 8 p.m. April 23 and 24 in Hemmens Cultural Center, 45 Symphony Way, Elgin. Tickets cost $40 premium and $20 main, and are available at hemmens.org or elginjsb.org.

To view samples of the dresses, visit ywcaelgin.org. To donate dresses, volunteer to sort dresses or be a personal shopper, or to donate storage space, call White at 847-742-7930 or e-mail dwhite@ywcaelgin.org.

LMS Note: I know more organizations do this and I imagine it's done in Township High School District 214, but I couldn't find it. If you know of more organizations that provide this valuable service, leave it in the comments.


Wish Upon A Star http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/happynews/ct-x-n-0331-help-dresses-20100331,0,196573.story

Find ABC Nightly News story from a couple weeks ago about similar thing.

I Think Nana Visited Me Last Night

As I type this, my fingers are trembling.

About 10:15 this morning, I opened my front door to check out the snow. Yes, snow. It was almost 70 the last few days and this morning it's snowing. And Mother Nature is messing with my head with a migraine today. Damn, her. But I digress.

Anyway, I opened my front door. The grass is covered with snow. The driveway and walkway to the front door are soaking wet. Snow is flying around. The tree branches are snow covered. I'd say it was pretty, but it's the first day of SPRING. Snow in the Spring is not pretty.

Sitting on the wet ground at my front door was a picture. A picture of Mom, Nana, and me. In fact, it was this picture:
One of my absolute favorite pictures of us. I love the smile on Nana's face. I love how genuinely happy she looks. I love how healthy she looks. She was in the hospital for knee replacement surgery and this must have been a few days after the surgery when she was finally feeling like herself again. Notice the lipstick she's wearing. It was her belief that no matter what else was going on in the world, as long as she was wearing lipstick, everything was okay. And people wonder where I get this belief from.

The picture sitting on the ground had been on my Christmas tree, as evidenced from the hole punched in the corner, but the ribbon was missing. Not torn out, just missing. My 2009 Christmas tree was a memorial to Nana and featured about 3 dozen pictures of Nana along with snowflakes she'd crocheted, but it was a fake tree, so I'm not sure how the picture ended up outside when I put the tree away. There were no water stains on the picture from months outside and the picture was completely dry, which was odd since it was laying on the very wet ground and it was snowing. Aside from a little dirt, the picture was in perfect condition.

I'm not sure where this picture came from, but I dreamt about Nana last night. Although I don't remember the details, I do remember she was visiting me here in my dream. And she was the way I remember her. Smiling. No gray hair (seriously, when she died at age 93, she had almost no gray hair and I hope that bodes well for me). Wearing lipstick.

When I woke this morning, I had a tough few moments deciding if my dream was real or a dream. I wanted it to be real because I miss her so much. I often think about if I just had 5 more minutes with Nana how I would spend it. I'd have so many questions I'd want answers to. So many things I would love to tell her.

Maybe my dream wasn't really a dream, but was reality. Maybe she actually visited me and left the picture, so I'd know it was real and not a dream. Maybe the reason I overslept and have a migraine was so I wouldn't rush out of the house through the garage early this morning and miss the gift she left me. Maybe.

The Power of the Dream

When I was a kid, I had huge crazy dreams.

I wanted to be a teacher, astronaut, lawyer, Barbie, Nancy Drew, and a circus clown while living on a yacht near Greece. I wanted to be married with a brood of happy, healthy kids running around constantly. I wanted to be the first woman president. I wanted to learn to fly like Amelia Earhart. I wanted to be a movie star. I wanted to go to Harvard for undergrad and Yale for law school. Of course, I wanted to be rich too. And it was all possible.

Over the years, my dreams have changed.

I didn't go to Harvard or Yale, but I couldn't be happier I went to Lake Forest College. In fact, I believe I got a better education and know it was the best place for me. My political and legal dreams took me to Washington DC and successful career as a litigation legal assistant. It was there my lawyer dream changed. A few years later, I had a paid gig on a political campaign. My dream to be the first woman president no longer exists, although I haven't entirely given up the idea of running for public office someday.

Dreams are different than goals. Goals are things we are actually pursuing and have dates for completion. Dreams are more abstract. They may not ever be achieved, but are the "someday" things. At least for me that's how it works.I believe that dreams keep us alive or at least give us the will to keep going. Without dreams, I'm not really sure what we've got.

I have to tell you that there was a time when I didn't have dreams. Maybe it's actually more accurate to say that I didn't acknowledge my dreams. I had goals, but even those got put on hold. That was an awful time for me.

But I have dreams again and I've been thinking about them a lot lately. I've been thinking about how to turn them into reality. One of the things I know for sure is that in order for my dreams to come true, I have to talk about them. I have to put them out into the universe. And when I do that, based on past history, they come true with mind boggling speed.

I know what you're thinking . . . this sounds an awful lot like The Secret that Oprah was hyping a few years ago and it's impossible to just think a thought and poof! it turns into reality. I'll grant you that's true. But what got lost in all the hype around The Secret, was that it's not enough to just put a dream out to the universe. You still have to do the work to pursue your dream too.

So what are my dreams today? I'm so glad you asked.

I have a dream of being published. I want to be paid to write. More specifically, I want to write a book. I don't have a topic yet, but know it will come. Almost a year ago, I came close to being paid to write. It didn't work out, but I think that's because the Universe knew I wasn't really ready.

I dream about being happily married to the man who is perfect for me. I even know who he is. Not "who" he is in the sense that I'm making some announcement here. Believe me, I'm not. I know "who" he is in the sense that I know the type of man he is and the qualities he possesses.

I dream of being a mom. I don't necessarily see this as me personally giving birth to my very own biological children. Maybe I'm a step-mom. Maybe we adopt kids. Maybe I have foster kids. Maybe I'm a mentor to children or an aunt (no pressure, Dave). I don't know exactly how this turns itself into reality, but I'm open to options.

I dream about climbing Baldy this summer. Read this for the back story. It's a personal physical challenge thing. I've got some a lot of work to do, but when I whine about the work I gotta do, just remind me why I'm doing it.

I dream about helping people change their lives. One of the things that really gets me going is when I'm doing something that makes a difference. Like that night at Clearbrook. It's one of the reasons I love being a Mary Kay Consultant. I love helping women feel beautiful and fall in love with the woman they see in the mirror.

I dream of having enough money that I feel secure, that I have the choices having money brings, and can use my money for global good. Yes, that sounds vague, but in a blog read by millions daily (another dream), I don't feel comfortable quantifying that into actual dollars because it feels materialistic and I'm not.

I dream of having a garden that looks like this:

From Fineartamerica.com

I dream of being able to pick up and travel anytime I want. More specifically, I dream about traveling to every continent, except Antarctica. I've got five to go. I dream of seeing the Pyramids, the Great Wall, Victoria Falls, the attic Anne Frank lived in, and the Eiffel Tower.

Those are just a few of my dreams. What do you dream of?

Susan Boyle: She Dreamed A Dream - SPOILER ALERT

WOW. That's the only word to express the emotion I am feeling at this moment. Susan Boyle WOW.

She dreamed a dream. A dream she held in her heart for years. A dream she never let out of her sight. A dream she clasped to even tighter when millions of people around the world laughed at her, said she had no right to it, and that she wasn't fit to be in competition.

Tonight was the final competition in Britain's Got Talent and Susan was the odds on favorite. It's been a crazy week for Susan. Reports have had her swearing at fans, cracking under the pressure and threatening to quit. Supposedly she was even kept in a safe house.

Without a doubt, Susan Boyle gave the greatest performance of her life tonight, singing "I Dreamed A Dream," the song that brought her to our attention just a few weeks ago and made us all examine ourselves. (I've written about Susan here, here and here). Watching her sing tonight, I cried.

Simon Cowell summed it all up better than I ever could. Singing her praises, he said "You had every right to walk away from this ... and a lot of people said you shouldn't even be in this competition, that you're not equipped to deal with it. For what? For you to sit at home with your cat and say 'I've missed an opportunity?' I completely disagree with that. Win or lose, you had the guts to come back here tonight and face your critics, and you beat them. And that's the most important thing. Whatever happens, and I've got to know the real Susan Boyle, who is not the person I've seen portrayed in the media, you can walk away from this, win or lose, with your head held high. I absolutely adore you."

How many of us have let our own inner critic or the world's critics talk us out of following our heart? I'd be lying if I said I always rose above my own fears. I don't. I battle them everyday, probably like most people. And sometimes they win. Sometimes I don't put myself out on the limb. Sometimes I resist being vulnerable. It's not always safe to put my whole heart into something and risk failure or looking silly.

If Susan Boyle had quit, I would bet money she'd spend the rest of her life asking herself "what if?" But she didn't. She kept going. How many times in our lives have we let ourselves off the hook because things got difficult? I won't tell you how many times I've done it or wanted to and I won't ask for your number either.

But what's the worst that can really happen? I get over myself, follow my passion, and don't quite get the result I was hoping for. So what? SPOILER In Susan Boyle's case, that's what happened. She came in second and she held her head high doing it. She was gracious in losing and that's a lesson we can all learn. She didn't win the competition and the money, but she won something even greater. She proved to herself and the world that she could do it. She followed her passion and lived her purpose on that stage. And I'm pretty sure she enjoyed the journey.

Personally, I am grateful to Susan Boyle for reminding me to follow my own dreams and heart and to quit listening to the voices (real or in my head) that tell me I can't.

Watch and be moved.

Little Merry Sunshine is on the Chicago Tribune's Website!

In case you haven't seen my Twitters today,

"Little Merry Sunshine is on the front page of the Chicago Tribune online! www.chicagotribune.com! Check it out!!!" 10:59am from txt

"Today is the best day of 2009. Look at Little Merry Sunshine on the Chgo Trib website! www.chicagotribune.com Scroll down look on left." 8:40pm from web

you may not know that the Chicago Tribune highlighted Little Merry Sunshine as its featured blog from Chicago's Best Blogs today! Go take a look while it's still there (they change the featured blog almost daily). When you get to the Tribune, scroll down and look on the left under the box with today's columnists.

All I can say is WOW. WOW. WOW. And thank you.

I wish I could tell you that almost 2 years ago, when I first opened myself up to the world via Little Merry Sunshine, that I believed this blog of mine would take off and be noticed by anyone other than my mom and immediate best friends who read it because I begged them. I didn't. I didn't think anyone would care about anything I had to say. I thought I'd have 7 readers forever. But I just kept telling myself "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me!"

I was scared and insecure, but I kept writing for me, if for no one else. Many days Little Merry Sunshine is personal and about what I'm grateful for, what inspires me or just some crazy anecdote from my life. Some days it gets into politics because I believe most people get into politics to make the world a better place and it's a passion of mine. I write about the Cubs because I bleed Cubbie Blue. And I write about activism because contributing to the world around me is one of my top personal values and I believe we should all give back everyday.

Somewhere along the way, my readership started to grow and I gained a following. Your belief in me and your encouragement helped turn my wavering confidence into rock solid belief.

Thank you for reading my blog and contributing to the conversation through your comments and emails. Thank you for making me be better. Thank you for believing in me. Please keep reading Little Merry Sunshine and leaving your comments. And hang on because this ride is about to get even more fun.

Below are the screen shots, which I'll grant you are small and a bit difficult to read. But you can get the gist. The third and fourth shots show LMS (with the picture of Governor Blagojevich). The last shot shows the LMS in its entirety, although it's still difficult to read. The picture at the top of this post shows exactly how LMS was featured.


And here's one where you can see the entire feature for LMS:

You Can't Judge A Book By Its Cover

Raise your hand if you've never looked at someone or something and made a judgment about who they are, the quality of their character, or an assessment of their abilities by some completely arbitrary and superficial factor. I see that every hand is raised. So we've all done it. None of us are proud of this, but it's something we've done.

Now, raise your hand if someone has looked at YOU and made a judgment about you. Maybe you're a bit overweight and someone has said that makes you entirely undateable. Maybe people snub their noses at you as they look down on what you do for a living. Maybe people make assumptions about you based on a family member with a disability. Maybe someone told you that you couldn't achieve your goals because you aren't smart enough or pretty enough or some other crazy factor. I see that, again, every hand is raised. Interesting.

How did it feel? It was a blow to your ego, right? It may have pushed you off your game and played some mind games with you. Did you let go of a dream because of some catty comment that hurt you to your core? It may have made you question the person you know yourself to be.

Finally, have you ever had the experience where you got to prove all the haters wrong? Where they'd judged you and you got to wipe the floor with them? Remember how THAT felt? I don't know about you, but I think it's the world's greatest feeling.

In case you've never had that experience of getting to prove everyone's judgments wrong or reach your dream anyway, watch this video and imagine yourself as Susan Boyle for just a minute. It's powerful and it will change you.

Susan Boyle on Britain Got Talent
by dwarthy

If you're reading this on your iPhone and can't watch that video, watch the You Tube version here. You Tube won't allow embedding, sorry.

You can also visit Susan's fansite here.

Oh, and yes, she really did say she's 48 and never had a boyfriend and never been kissed. But she dreamed a dream and she never let it go. Susan Boyle is my new hero.

And thanks to Brad Meltzer for starting my day with this video. He always finds the most inspirational and uplifting stories. He loves the rooting for the underdog. Friends like him are priceless.

UPDATE: Check out this article on Jezebel about Susan Boyle. Fantastic!

If You Build It, They Will Come

Whenever I think of that famous line from The Field of Dreams, I'm reminded that by simply putting my wants, dreams, and desires out into the universe, they are more likely to come to fruition.

When I was a senior in college in 1993, I decided I wanted to move to Washington DC. I knew no one and had no potential job connections, but knew that if I got a hotel room for spring break and pounded the pavement, I'd create an opportunity. On the first day of my Spring Break, I got on a plane with a huge stack of resumes, my only business suit, comfy walking shoes, and a DC guidebook. I knocked on every door in Washington and made everyone speak to me until I found a job. Well, not a job, exactly, but an unpaid summer internship at the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. As August in DC rolled around, I realized I still was without full-time employment and would have to return to Chicago if I didn't have a job by Labor Day (per the deal I'd made with my parents). This was the last thing I wanted and I kept talking about the job I wanted in DC. Through the miracle of a blind want ad in the Washington Post, I landed my dream job the day after Labor Day and only had to return to Chicago long enough to pick up my winter clothes and drive back to DC. I had put my dreams out to the universe of being in DC, worked to make my dream come true, and I had seven of the best years of my life.

Fast forward to late 1999 when I was talking to a friend of mine and he asked if I'd ever return to Chicago. The truth was that as much as I loved DC, I missed my family and being able to attend the spontaneous family get-togethers. I told my friend that I might move back after President Clinton was out of office in January 2001. Much to my surprise, three months later, in March 2000, the universe presented me with the opportunity to return to my hometown and I took it.

Two years later, in the Spring of 2002, I was working for a company I wasn't terribly happy with. On two separate occasions over a two-week period, friends familiar with my work situation asked me what I'd do if I could create my dream job. I told them both that I'd be working in politics. Although I had volunteered on numerous political campaigns, I really wanted the opportunity to work in a paid capacity on a campaign. I had previously been offered a job in fundraising on a state-wide primary campaign, but something about it hadn't felt right and I had turned it down. About 10 days after my second conversation, my phone rang and I was offered a second opportunity to work in fundraising on a different state-wide campaign. Because opportunity doesn't often knock twice, much less more than that, I took the job. Again, I had spoken my desire to the universe and the universe answered.

I have two other dreams that are beginning to come to fruition. I can't talk about them yet, but they're both dreams I've had for years. I've slowly built the foundation for these dreams becoming reality and now that they seem to be happening, I couldn't be happier. And don't worry, when I can speak about them, Little Merry Sunshine is where I will break the news.

I know that many of you reading this will think it sounds hokey that I could simply speak my wishes and poof they came to fruition. Let's be clear, that's not exactly how things happened. I did verbalize my dreams into the universe, but I also worked to make my dreams come true by building up my qualifications or knocking on doors so that when my desires came true, I was ready. Sometimes it's a matter of unknowingly speaking my desires to the right person who can help me turn them into reality. But no matter what, putting my dreams into the universe is an important step in turning them into reality.

Just for fun and to remind you and me that it's not hokey to put your dreams out into the universe, take a minute to read the lyrics to "When You Wish Upon A Star" the famous Disney song. I know we all remember it from childhood, but until a friend pointed it out to me today, I hadn't ever really listened to or read the words.

When You Wish Upon A Star

Music by Leigh Harline / Lyrics by Ned Washington
Performed by Jiminy Cricket (Cliff Edwards)

When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you

If your heart is in your dream
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do

Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longing

Like a bolt out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true

So get out there and start speaking your dreams and then get to work. If you build it, they will come.

Never Give Up On Your Dreams

I have heard this story about Barack Obama attending the 2000 Democratic Convention a number of times, but it bears repeating.

From The Economist:

EIGHT YEARS ago Barack Obama was thoroughly humiliated at the Democratic Convention in Los Angeles. He had recently lost a congressional primary in Chicago, and both his political and personal bank accounts were empty. The rental car company rejected his credit card. He failed to get hold of a floor pass and ended up watching the proceedings on a big screen in a car park. He returned home with his tail between his legs before the week was out—and lef the celebrations to the people who mattered, not least the Clintons, who took every chance to seize the limelight from the Gores.

This year Mr Obama is the Democratic convention. The Pepsi Centre in Denver will be chock-a-block with people cheering about “hope” and “change”. On August 28th Mr Obama will deliver his acceptance speech at a local football stadium, Invesco Field, before an audience of more than 70,000. The man who could not get a floor pass in Los Angeles has a better than even chance of winning the presidential election in November—the current Intrade market odds are running 61 to 38 in his favour—and thereby becoming America’s first non-white president.

Eight years. That's all it took from the time Barack Obama was arguably at one of the lowest points in his life to reach the pinnacle (and hopefully an even higher pinnacle on November 4th) of his life.

Clearly, he never gave up on his dreams. What could we achieve if we kept our focus clear in our sight, our dreams pure in our heart, and ignored all the nay-sayers?