On the Gardner side, I am the eldest of 7 grandchildren, but just barely. My cousin Andrea is two months younger than me and until Dave was born, we were it. We were doted on by everyone. It was wonderful.
All these years later, Andrea and I always exchange birthday presents and make a big deal out of each other's birthday. Usually, we're on-time about it too. Because she lives just outside of St. Louis, the celebration happens via the phone, email, and snail mail. This year, as a special treat, Andrea was in town in mid-May, about a month prior to my birthday, and we had a fantastic weekend! So when my birthday went unacknowledged, I really didn't think anything of it. My assumption was that this year, we jointly celebrated our birthdays together, albeit very early.
Imagine my surprise on Thursday when I reached into the mailbox and found a very thick card with her return address on it! Rather than thinking this this envelope was for me, I assumed it was a card for Betsey and Ross's 12th birthday yesterday. But it was for me! Hooray!
When I opened the envelope, I found a card with a picture of President Bush saying "The celebrification of a person's bornfulness is a rightitude we hold dear in this nation. Make it your bestest!" I laughed pretty hard.
And then I read Andrea's lengthy note, which I've reproduced here for you, and laughed so hard I almost had to change clothes . . .
Oh my God Andrea is so funny! That was the best birthday card I received!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday! I guess there's a first time for everything, right? Well, between hoping my house doesn't flood, 60-hour workweeks, school deadlines, moms who total cars, employees quitting left and right, late periods, barfing dogs, crabby husbands, the gas crisis, the rising cost of postage, and bad hair days, something was bound to slip between the cracks! If it makes you feel any better, and it should, I am celebrating your birthday this very minute by eating a birthday cake
sundae. Here's to you!
With happiness, guilt and regret . . . Happy late birthday!
I almost forgot . . . the reason the card was so thick was because she also sent me 5 scratch off lottery tickets. In the interest of full disclosure, I had never seen scratch-off lottery tickets before. Once I figured out how many squares to scratch off (answer = all), I discovered that none of my tickets were winners.