I Ate a Frog Today

Watch the video and you'll understand. And then remember that I love you and that's why I share my words of wisdom with you. Well, okay, they're Brian Tracy's words of wisdom, but I'm still sharing something with you that helps make my days better.

I'm Gonna Be Charlie Sheen's #Winning #Tigherblood Intern!

My phone rang about 3pm yesterday. It was my friend Paul (and one of the alumni at my awesome new job).

"Jess, I've found the PERFECT job for you! But you've got to act fast!"

"Um, okay," I said, "But I've already got the perfect job. Remember? I'm the Alumni Relations & Events Manager at your alma mater!"

"No. No. No," He insisted. "THIS job is even better."

"Okay, fine. What is this gig that's even better than my awesome job I've been at for three weeks? Seriously, I thought you were calling about some alumni matter."

"Charlie Sheen is looking for an intern and you'd be PERFECT! With your #winning smile and attitude and #tigerblood instincts, he'd be a fool not to hire you."

"You do realize I'd smack him upside the head all the way to next Thursday, just for being a complete waste of a human being these days, right?"

"Ya, but it'd be fun to watch, plus, you'd be perfect."

"Okay, well, thanks for thinking of me. Is there any alumni matter I can help you with? Otherwise, I've got to get back to work."

"Nope. Have a great day. You're doing a great job as the new Alumni Relations & Events Manager, but you really should consider this Charlie Sheen gig."

So I've given it some thought ... I'm gonna be Charlie Sheen's intern because he can use my #winning social media skills, smile, and attitude, plus my #tigerblood instincts! I'll let you know how the application process goes.

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss!

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss (aka Theodore Geisel)! I can only imagine the millions of children who grew up learning to read with your books and developing a lifelong love of reading because of you. I count myself among them.

We all have a favorite Dr. Seuss book that we can probably still recite from memory. Maybe it was The Cat in the Hat. Or Horton Hears A Who! Or One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish. Or Green Eggs and Ham.

Actually Green Eggs and Ham is partially responsible for my complete (and slightly unreasonable) opposition to eggs and milk (unless they are well mixed into other things.

When I was about 7 or 8, my mom got up one St. Patrick's Day morning and decided to fix Dave and me green scrambled eggs and green milk a la Green Eggs and Ham. I took one look at this hideous looking meal and went to school hungry that day. Dave, who at the time was the pickiest eater in the entire world, ate it up eagerly. Heck, he probably ate mine too. To this day I still won't eat eggs in any form. To quote Green Eggs and Ham, "Not in a box. Not with a fox. Not in a house. Not with a mouse. I would not eat them here or there. I would not eat them anywhere. I would not eat green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam-I-am."

My favorite Dr. Seuss book is Oh The Places You'll Go, which like most people I know, I received as a college graduation gift. This charming book reminds us that life isn't always easy and certainly has its share of adversity, but "there's fun to be done." I should probably go re-read it right about now.

But above all, my most favorite Dr. Seuss creation is his poem "My Uncle Terwilliger on the Art of Eating Popovers," (click the previous link to read President Hotchkiss's memory of how Dr. Seuss came to give the speech, which until the moment he was on stage, no one knew for sure he would give) which he wrote just for the Class of 1977 at Lake Forest College.

My Uncle Terwilliger on
the Art of Eating Popovers

My uncle ordered popovers
from the restaurant’s bill of fare.
And, when they were served,
he regarded them
with a penetrating stare…
Then he spoke great Words of Wisdom
as he sat there on that chair:
“To eat these things,”
said my uncle,
“you must exercise great care.
You may swallow down what’s solid…
BUT…
you must spit out the air!”

And…
as you partake of the world’s bill of fare,
that’s darned good advice to follow.
Do a lot of spitting out the hot air.
And be careful what you swallow.
—Dr. Seuss

There's even a stone commemorating this speech on the LFC campus that I stop to read each time I walk by it, which is actually fairly often.

In honor of Dr. Seuss, today I'm going to sit down and re-read Oh The Places You'll Go and whatever other Dr. Seuss books I may still have. How will you celebrate?

Change The World

With all that's going on in the world these days (see Egypt, Libya, Wisconsin, et al), "Change the World" by Eric Clapton seems the best way to bring in March and the meteorological beginning of Spring.

My friend Cindee posted the video below on Facebook tonight (yes, I know I'm letting my friends do all the heavy lifting for LMS content right now, but I promise LMS will be completely original on Thursday morning) and it so inspired me that I had to share it with you. Take the time to not only listen to the music, but to watch the video and read the lyrics that go along with it. I'm pretty certain you'll feel inspired too.

And if Eric Clapton doesn't inspire you, take the words of Margaret Mead to heart. "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."

If Only Ray Charles Could Sing Me to Sleep at Night

The other day on Facebook, my friend Koko posted the video below along with a comment about how she now wants Ray Charles to come and croon her to sleep nightly. I replied that when he's done at her house, he ought to just pop over to mine. She then kindly sent me the link to the second video. Just listen to his sultry voice. I'd surely have peaceful wonderful dreams nightly if I drifted off to sleep listening to him. If only he could...

Can You Do Nothing For 2 Minutes?

When was the last time you simply did nothing for two minutes except breathe? Unless you regularly do yoga or meditate, it may have been awhile.

I found this cool site a couple of weeks ago on Huffington Post and I love it. I know a few of you will think there's a catch to this website, but I haven't found it yet. The entire purpose of the site is to encourage relaxation. I make myself go there a couple of times a day and just listen to the sounds of the ocean. Sometimes I almost get convinced that I'm sitting on the beach at Watervale.

Try it. You'll love it. If you can make it through two minutes of doing nothing.

Click on the picture and you'll be taken to the website.

picture from Huffington Post

A Kiss is Just a Kiss? No Way.

In honor of Valentine's Day, let's talk about kissing.

I don't care what anyone says, a kiss is never just a kiss. A kiss speaks where words fail. Sometimes a kiss says "I love you" and sometimes a kiss says goodbye. Of course, kisses also mean everything in between.

Whatever the specific meaning, I truly believe that kissing is one of the most extraordinary experiences in life and what makes a mind-blowing, stop-me-in-my-tracks, chills-up-my-spine, knees-buckling kiss to me is honesty and trust, not lust. Even as I write this, I can still remember the most significant kisses in my life. I remember how they made me feel and who they were with.

Is there anything better than the perfect kiss? The best part of them is their spontaneity. You can't make the perfect kiss happen. It just does. And you can't usually recreate it because the stars have to align just right and that's impossible to force.

I could tell you about the kisses in my life that rocked me to my core, but that would be tacky, and I'm not a girl who kisses and tells. Instead, let's take a look at my favorite on-screen kisses.

Casablanca - Ilsa tells Rick she still loves him and they kiss. Classic.


Serendipity - Jon and Sara have spent the entire movie finding their way to each other after spending just one afternoon together 5 years earlier.


The West Wing - We waited seven years for this kiss between Josh and Donna. And it was worth the wait.


When Harry Met Sally - My all time favorite movie kiss.


I think Prince sums it all up nicely.

Prince - Kiss


On orders from The Little Mermaid, you gotta just Kiss The Girl.

A New Twist on "Make Love Not War"

Do you have some spare guns laying around and no idea what to get your sweetie for Valentine's Day?

Little Merry Sunshine has your back. And more precisely, Pleasures in Huntsville, Alabama has your back. That's right, America's first drive-thru erotica shop (for those who just can't be bothered to get out of their car to get their porn) has now brought you a gun-for-sex toy swap just in time for Valentine's Day!

Trade in your guns and receive a gift card to the store where you can find everything from toys to stimulants to lingerie to videos. Guns will then be inspected by the owner's husband, a licensed gun dealer, and any found to have been used in a crime will be turned over to authorities. All the rest will be auctioned off with proceeds going to victims of gun violence. The store won't profit off the guns.

"You never know, maybe there will be someone who says, 'I've got this gun that I could go rob a liquor store with, or maybe I can get me a blowup doll for Valentine's Day, instead," owner Sherri Williams told Agence France-Presse, according to the New York Daily News. Seriously, that's my favorite line of the whole article.

You may want to hurry though. This guns-for-sex toy swap ends on February 15th. And to make sure you'll get a chance to use your new toys with your sweetie, I wouldn't wait until the day after Valentine's Day to do your shopping.

Jessica: The Movie

Now, I fully realize that the title of this blog post scares the living daylights out of a few of you, but it's true. I have a movie!

Truthfully, I didn't know anything about it until my blog buddy and Facebook friend, Dr. Monkey von Monkerstein (seriously, go read this man's brilliant blog) sent me an email yesterday with a picture of the movie poster.

Jessica (1962) starred Angie Dickinson. Here's the Netflix summary:

When the men of a Sicilian village start obsessing over ravishing blonde midwife Jessica (Angie Dickinson), angry females revolt by refusing to have sex with their husbands. As the local priest (Maurice Chevalier) tries to encourage procreation, Jessica falls for a tricky recluse (Gabriele Ferzetti). An adaptation of a Flora Sandstrom novel, this charming comedy also features Noel-Noel as a matchmaking old-timer.

Almost surprisingly, it doesn't appear to have won any awards.

But check out the poster. I'd say it sums me up nicely...

Sometimes Adults Say The Darndest Things

Do you remember Art Linkletter's Kids Say The Darndest Things? If you're over a certain age, I'm sure you do.

Well, it seems that sometimes adults say the darndest things as well. Take this clip from a recent episode of Family Feud.



Try to be a grown up and not let your morning coffee come flying out of your nose. As always, if you read LMS via email, visit the website and watch the video.